Snowy Edinburgh - the first is a view down into the Cowgate at the bottom of the Old Town from South Bridge with the snow swirling all around. The second is in the evening - Heriot's school near Greyfriar's Kikyard. It may cause travel chaos but Edinburgh looks amazing in the snow.

Boners

A story from New Scientist which is either fascinating or ghoulishly macabre depending on your outlook (guess which one this old fiend picks!): couples may be able to exchange rings made from human bone cultivated from the cells of their own bodies. Literally giving a little part of themselves. And people think I'm odd because I want to bit people on the neck?

Hhhmmm - do you think this same medical technology could be used to allow real-life Sideshow Mels the ability to have their own bone through their hair?

BRITAIN IN SNOW IN WINTER SHOCKER
Prime minister blames terrorists

Confusion gripped the whole of the British Isles as citizens were confronted by the unexpected and awful reality of heavy snowstorms in the middle of the winter season. Shocked Britons found that in February they had to shovel vast amounts of snow from their driveways and take more care on roads while local authorities struggled to keep highways open. Large amounts of snow were observed by many to fall freely from the sky and then later to cover the land, cars, slow-moving animals and elderly ladies as they sat by ponds feeding ducks. "It was awful, "Mrs Ethel Kettlefish told the Gazette, "I was just throwing bread to the duckies when this strange white substance came floating down out of the sky. Children were screaming, we didn't know what to do." Naturally the people demanded to know how such a series of events had been allowed to occur on British soil.

The Prime Minister issued a statement in which it was made clear that the snowfall was not the fault of the government. "Intelligence has shown that the heavy snows during winter were caused by fundamentalist terrorists who arrived in Britain posing as asylum seekers, " explained one Downing Street aide. They went on to claim that a new terror group, code-named Jack Frost, was responsible for the recent blizzard conditions and that this group posed a 'significant risk' to Britain as it was believed they could deploy up to 45cm of snow to upset the nation's infrastructure, a form of attack known as Wet Mushy Disruption or WMD for short.

Downing Street went on to say that the Jack Frost group had entered the country posing as asylum seekers and pointed out this proved the government needed stronger powers on those nasty foreign devils entering the Sceptred Isles and also the power to be able to detain British citizens without charge or trial who may also be a threat. Several prominent meteorolgists have already been detained along with anyone whose name contains the word 'Ali' in it. We of course support all of this as loyal patriots (please don't lock us up, Mr Home Secretary) and urge the government to use all force to find those who inflicted this dreadful snow attack on our innocent civilians.

Paint the whole world with...

...A rainbow! I'm sure some British readers of a certain age joined in and sang along there. The rest of you are wondering what the smeg we're talking about. Well, you see Rainbow was a kid's TV show when I was but knee-high to a Jawa. It featured Bungle the amazingly camp, gay bear, George the amazingly gay pink hippo and Zippy who was presumably the subservient George's dominant S&M master. Check this great clip from the show sent to me by the Rev. Sandy. Takes a moment or two to load, but it is worth it! You have to ask yourself, what were the makers thinking? It's a kid's show so we can get away with this? Or were they having a laugh?

On the nature of appeals

Well folks not quite there yet, but we're almost there. Paul, my RBA union rep called me this morning to say that the company had been in touch again. We actually received a letter regarding the appeal last week but as it was subject to ongoing negotiations between the union and the HR dept I hope you'll all understand I couldn't really talk about it on the blog, although it was a positive letter.

From this morning's call it sounds like we're hopefully going to be wrapping this whole episode up very shortly and, I am pleased to say, in a manner which is mutually amicable. Sorry to be such a tease, but I promise I will post to let you all know the full outcome as soon as I can, but I did want you all to know that it seems to be going very well from both sides.


Archived

I had a most peculiar email the other day there from the National Library of Scotland. They, along with the National Library of Wales and the British Library are involved in a project called the UK Web Archiving Consortium, archiving (as the name rather implies) selected sites from the various kingdoms which make up the UK. They were asking for permission to archive a version of the Woolamaloo as a Scottish site of interest.

Well, as you can imagine I was as surprised as the man who ordered smoked kippers for breakfast only to be given a suffocating fish and a packet of ciggies. My poor flabber has been somewhat gasted, to say the least and I think I will humbly respond in the affirmative, while maintaining my right to mutter 'wow' and 'huh?' as the occassion warrants. Tell me, guys, is it just me or is that one of those events that just makes you go 'what?' in a bemused fashion?

There was also a little flurry of press attention again at the end of last week. I'm told I was in the List (the indispensable Glasgow & Edinburgh what's on guide, which also has a very good comics and graphic novels section in the books review pages) and the Edinburgh Evening News ran a nice follow up story covering my move to Forbidden Planet. You can't see it on the online version but the picture clearly had the Gandalf standup lurking in the background. I'm sure Sir Ian wouldn't mind.

BBC Radio Five Live had me for a short interview which was more on work and blog matters in general rather than my own experience specifically and a photographer from the Independent came to take a pic for an article being written by Michael for this Wednesday's edition, which again is on blogging and work issues and not just on me (which I'm sure is a relief to everyone tired of reading about it). I still feel a bit silly posing for pics and it is still very odd to read about or see yourself in the papers. Perhaps I should get a stylist. Although I suspect I'd require an army of stylists to try and do a make-over on me and even then they'd have their work cut out. Oh well - to thine own self be true as they say.

And in a bit of late-breaking news my old mate at Nil Desperandum who works for a major mental health charity tells me that The Third Force, a weekly newspaper from the SCVO (Scottish Council for Voluntary Organisations) featured the old Gazette this week as well. I'm still rather amazed at the way this has gone around.

International Blog Action

Regular visitors will know of the recent formation of the Committee to Protect Bloggers, which has been discussed on the Woolamaloo. Well, for those who are unaware, Curt who runs CPB, is calling for an international blogger's day of action for the 22nd of February and asking bloggers to unite in defence of the freedom of speech by writing on the subject, displaying the button (available from the site -see the one at the bottom of this page) or from refraining from blogging on any other topic for that day. Good luck to Curt and the Committee - some of us get into trouble for what we say, but some bloggers end up threatened or in prison in repressive regimes and that's something we as a community of bloggers need to be aware of and to make others aware of. The BBC has given them some excellent coverage here - now it's the turn of we bloggers. Remember the denial of freedom of speech in any land is a threat to all of us.

Literary curry, liquid liver

I had the pleasure of being treated to a very fine curry night this week by Iain Banks (with or without his 'M') in the equally splendid company of Ken MacLeod and Adele Hartley (organiser of the excellent Dead by Dawn horror film fest).

Naturally comprising such a refined and educated set, we spent the evening deep in philosophical debate and literary discussion, before retiring after dinner to the billiards room with a glass of port.

And no we didn't just eat lots of very fine Indian food and drink several lochs of booze. Really, we didn't.

Oh, okay, we did. And we didn't play billiards afterwards, but this was for four very good reasons.

One - the Omar Khayam, very fine Indian restaurant though it is, does not possess a billiards room.

Two - we were too full of yummy Indian food to lean over a billiards table if they had one.

Three - we had swilled down too much of the rather nice red wine that the waiters magically knew Iain liked (we know not how since Iain, like most writers of course, is not a regular drinker).

Four - Adele would probably have whipped us all at billiards anyway.

Suffice to say a very good - and late - night was had by all of us, although the next morning may not have been quite so glorious!

Iain and Ken will both be making an appearance at Glasgow's Aye, Write book festival later this month. Ken will be re-enacting the advance of the Red Army during 1944 while Iain dons his flying jacket to play the role of a plucky RAF Sunderland Flying Boat pilot protecting the Arctic convoys on their way to supply that advance. Really. Well, they might.

Lost

Found this via the good services of Boing Boing - a really wonderful, virtual recreation of P T Barnum's American Museum, where once people oohed and ahed over Colonel Tom Thumb or the Feejee Mermaid. It's terrific and a nice use of the medium. Having just re-watched Tod Browning's 1930s classic Freaks recently I was in the right mood for this! On which subject, your useless bit of information for the day: Tod Browning, director of Dracula (the Lugosi/Universal version) apparently used old chums for Freaks from his days working in the carnivals (yep, that ain't makeup in Freaks, they are real freaks).

Magic!

I had one of those really great Sundays this weekend. Melanie and I met up at the fabulous little pastry shop/gallery near my flat I mentioned back in December, the Old Bakehouse. Scrumptious cakes and a wee art gallery, what a brilliant combination. Choux pastry filled with fresh cream and dusted all over (actually covered) with chocolate flakes.... Mmmmmm, choux pastry..... Lovely little independent gallery in the basement. Down the spiral staircase where you can slurp your coffee and harden your arteries with fresh cream in among the artwork. Terrific. The nice gentleman even gave us a goody bag of some fresh pizza slices since he was about to close and didn't want to waste them. Result.

Skipped off through the nearby subway (newly decorated with cool stencils and art which I must photograph sometime - sure Olly would like it)to the cinema afterwards, full of coffee and cake and arrived in time to watch an amazing film filled with the cream (oh that word just keeps coming up today, doesn't it?) of British thespian-hood: Sir Ian McKellen, Jim Broadbent, Tom Baker, Joanna Lumley...

Yep, Mel and I went off to enjoy The Magic Roundabout! And it totally and utterly rocked! It was far too good for the kids who were there and I suspect they were left bemused as to why we were so amused by Dylan the hippy rabbit's references to grass and hot rocks. And Tom Baker as the Zebedee's evil nemesis Zeebad was perfect, but then Tom is madder than a hedgehog on a motorbike (but we love him for it). Totally groovy - the only fault was they didn't play the classic Magic Roundabout music! Why ever not??? I was all ready to dance around in a little circle to it. Oh, wait a minute, perhaps that's why they didn't play it...

Continuing our perfect timing we skipped back here through the rather chilly evening and caught the opening two episodes of Joey. Mel and I used to watch Friends together so this worked perfectly - comedy is always funnier when you share it with chums. And of course it is even better with chums with wine and popcorn. I thought Joey was better than I expected although his nephew/room mate does seem to be an amalgam of Chandler's smart but hopeless with girls character and Monica's neuroses, but we'll have to see how it goes. And yes, I'm sure some of you will slag me off for liking Friends, but what the smeg...

Books

After an enjoyable trip through to the Glasgow Forbidden Planet (where I used to buy many a Sandman and Hellblazer issue before I moved to Edinburgh) for a meeting with some new colleagues I took some time to have a good look through the rather excellent books section, which had a very good mix of British and import titles and a very good range of graphic novels. I mention this in passing because other new colleagues in Belfast sent me some pictures of their broad-range books section as a reply to an earlier comment posted by a visitor - they hope you'll come by the newer premises they have to browse and of course offer to try and find any title for you that they don't have.

I've had a nice email from the Manhattan branch as well, where they are currently refreshing and reworking their books range, welcoming me onto the team and I got to have a constructive ideas-swapping meeting with colleagues in Glasgow. Actually everyone has been very friendly to me and been helpful and welcoming. And no, I'm not just saying that! It's nice to be made welcome since moving into a new job is always stressful; even when it is somewhere you want to be it's still a major change in your life so it is good to be made to feel comfortable even before you've properly started. I've also got the strong impression that I'm going to be able to swap ideas with plenty of other colleagues - I'm sure it will be a lot of work but I'm also sure it will be fun as well.

IRAQ ELECTION RESULTS - THE LATEST

From our Woolamaloo Gazette Special Corrospondent hiding in a hole in Baghdad to avoid American or British soldiers shutting down his blog.

The results are now becoming clearer after the recent election in troubled Iraq. After the pleasant surprise of the elections themselves passing off relatively peacefully and with much support from the populace, the results themselves are not at all surprising.

The ballot results collated so far clearly show that some 46% of the Iraq electorate prefer smooth peanut butter over the crunchy variety. Given the choking on a pretzel incident George Bush suffered a few years ago many in the Arab world will see this selection of smooth over crunchy as more evidence of US tampering in the election.


HOUSE ARREST

Charles Clarke, the British Home Secretary, has poo-poohed press stories that he was thinking about dropping his controversial plans for home detention without trial for terror suspects. Since the Law Lords ruled the detention of suspected terrorists for long terms without trial or charge was unlawful Blair's government has been looking for an alternative.

The current option of choice among ministers keen to lock up pesky foreigners (they're not British you know!) is currently thought to be House Arrest. As the name implies the detainees would be released from their unlawful imprisonment, thus satisfying the courts but their homes would instead be arrested and taken into custody. Plans area already afoot to adapt a special prison to detain the arrested houses. The theory is that the detainees will be free but without a home to return to will be unwilling to leave prison.

The tricky question of how to arrest and imprison apartments is still being considered and major steel manufacturers have been approached to make special building-sized restraints. Critics have pointed out the negative impact this house arrest will have on property prices while others have claimed that the forced arrest and removal of many buildings is secretly to allow Mr Clarke more room to walk around London without his enormous ears catching on the sides of structures. The Home Office denies all of this.

Indecent exposure

Yet another disturbing story of the apparent disregard for civil and constitutional rights in post 9-11 America on Boing Boing today (well done BB for highlighting it). Steve and his wife were approached by ticket inspectors in San Francisco after snapping a few photographs and ordered to cease and threatened with being cited for breaking the law if they continued. As a member of the National Press Photographer's Association Steve knew there was no law restricting him and challenged the inspectors to explain which law they were citing (not to mention his contitutional freedoms being restricted).

Unsurprisingly they were unable to do so, but continued to tell him his photographs were a security threat and then went on to call in SFPD officers who also harrassed and threatened him. They too could not find a law he had broken so instead threatened to arrest him on a trumped up charge of 'trespass'.

How does one 'trespass' on a public space such as a rail station? And considering most every night we see live images from cameras covering correspondents from round the world right outside the White House how can these jumped-up jobsworths possibly see taking a photograph in a rails tation as a threat? Perhaps they better get their officious and over-zealous little butts over to Washington to arrest the world's press corp as they film George's workplace (although that is a generous term since he spends a lot of time away on a break rather than working there but that's another tale). Check out Steve's site for his well-thought out (especially given the provocation) explanation of the events and response to them.

Knickers

Legislators in Virginia have finally dropped the ridiculous new bill which would allow the imposition of fine on people showing underwear in a "lewd or indecent manner". When I first heard about this a couple of days ago it was one of those stories you assume is a joke. Nope, check the date, it ain't April 1st and it's a legislature in the South, y'all, so yep, they are serious. Guess that would mean Madonna, Britney and other popsters would be unable to perform in Richmond (would they miss it? would the Richmond citizens?).

Apart from the foolishness of such a law - how exactly do you interpret this? Do Underwear Vice Cops carry tape measures to examine how much of your knickers are showing over your jeans? - it was pointed out that since the droopy drawers look is especially favoured by coloured youth, guess which sector of the community would be getting pulled over all the time (well, even more than they do already).

Perhaps lawmakers should turn their attention from inoffensive glimpses of thongs as someone bends over and instead concentrate on far more important matters which could really make society a better place? Such as fines for workmen with lard-asses happily showing 'builder's bum' to the world. I mean come one - you could use those wobbly arse cracks to park your bike in! Haven't they heard of belts? Eeuuuggghhh.

Tickled pink

Those wacky anime/manga folks are at it again - a manga site dedicated to tickling (via Boing Boing)! For some reason the artwork also includes Daphne and Velma from Scooby Doo being tickled. Personally I can never see Velma in the same way I used to since I used to work with a chum who has a remarkable resemblance to her (although of course, she is nicer!) and I can't see Velma without thinking on her now.

Eat me



Great article in New Scientist about a chef who is printing edible menus! Printing using a variety of foodstuffs for an 'ink' source onto edible paper. This will no doubt bring a smile to the faces of the many who have regarded the delicious-looking images of dishes on menus in the past, only to be confronted by something which looks almost, but not quite, entirely unlike the picture when it arrives on their table.



Next for the tech-chef is apparently cooking steak by laser... Honestly - you folk thing I make up some silly articles?!?!? Outdone by real life once more :-). I wonder if the edible printing process could be transferred to clothes? Then we could all take literally Bart's catchphrase of 'eat my shorts'.

Teutonic efficiency



In a fine display of German efficiency and beauracratic logic the German postal service, Deutsche Post, has delivered a postcard sent from England and addressed to "Furher Adolf Hitler, German Parliament, Berlin, Germany". Deustche Post seem to be proud of the fact they managed to deliver the postcard despite the incorrect address and the notable handicap of the intended recipient being deceased.



I am moved to wonder just what was on the postcard though? 'Dear Adolf, having a wonderful canal boating holiday in Norfolk - you'd love these barges for Operation Sealion. Wish you were here, Oswald.'

Normal service



Will be resumed as soon as etc, etc, etc... Still monkeying around with a redesign here. The new colour scheme didn't go down to well, so I decided to pick a whole new template. Unfortunately this means having to reload the likes of the links sidebar etc, so bear with me here.

In living colour



Just smegging around with the colour scheme as I am bored with the old one. Not sure about this one, but prefer it to the old style. Comments? Is it easier on the eyes than the old green scheme version?

Animated



Brad'n'Jen'n'Angelina. Groovy musical, animated take on the celeb breakup nonsense at Liquid Generation. Chuckles.

Punning around



Reading fellow TAO member and Irish SF guru (an Irish Gaelic word meaning 'SF fan who talks about Alan Moore while dirnking Guinness') Padraig's Live Journal this evening. He posited the punning question: "If you wrote a book about how to make money using an ancient Chinese divinatory system, would you call it the I Ching Ching?"



Heh, heh.Hmmm, starts the twisted thing I call 'brain' on the pun-book title track. What else could we have? Perhaps the pedigree dog breeders of the USA could take a variation on Neil Gaiman's excellent novel and give us a novel of old and new myths meeting in American Dogs? Alan Moore's Swatchmen telling of some superheroes with fashionable wrist chronometers? Ken MacLeod's Newton's Wake being appropriated for a book by sailing phycisists? Art Speigelman's masterpiece graphic novel re-branded for the Chinese market: Mao (s)??? John Irving's Cider House Rules adopted by some scrumpy producers in the West Country?



Okay, I'll stop now. Brain requires chocolate or it threatens to continue spewing bollocks.

Anti-terror training for cats



In response to an earlier comment regarding the training of my cats in anti-terrorism techniques I'm afraid I have to report that this has not gone as well as anticipated. It was thought that with the incredible smell and sound sense of cats, combined with fabulous night vision and incredible reflexes and agility the felines would make perfect counter-terrorism operatives.



This has not proved to be the case. One of the primary obstacles the SAS (Scottish Animal Squad) trainers ran into was the fact that the average domestic mog will happily snooze for up to 18 hours a day. Even when awake and alert the test cats only became interested in the target if the terrorist was dressed up as either a giant mouse or else had a ball of wool hanging from their person. While this latter may be of some use in attacking Al Queda's Knitting Brigade or the Crotchet Martyrs it is unlikely to be so useful generally.



The other main problem was that the cats were more likely to jump up on the terrorists and demand to have their tummies tickled. While this may distract the mad suicide bomber for a time, it was not seen as a viable, long term programme. The cat anti-terror squad has therefore been cancelled since it seems the felines perform a much better service in keeping citizens relaxed by purring on them and eating their fish. Tests on hedgehog assassins will, however, continue, as will funding for the special Penguin unit.

Ask not for whom the road tolls...



Confusion and bitter recriminations were the order of the day as Edinburgh citizens began to vote in the controversial proposal for road tolls for the city centre to relieve congestion. Further confusion was sown when a number of ballots were posted to citizens to poll them on the subject matter of 'toad rolls' instead of road tolls. The city's French deli's were outraged when they found out this was a typo and are considering suing the council for the cost of their stock orders of fresh frogs and baguettes.



Worries about Iraq-style election violence with Motoring fundamentalists ramming cars full of explosives into 'yes' campaign headquarters proved false, although it could simply be that they were stuck in heavy traffic cursing the bus and cycle lane users.



The council's transport spokesperson also cleared up the muddle over what 'congestion charging' actually was since some of the dimmer members of Edinburgh society thought it meant people who had eaten too much would be taxed more.

I don't know much about art, but I know when it's virtual



Scotland's first virtual arts school, Studio Art School, set up in a farm house in Loanhead (near Edinburgh) has been nominated in the New Statesmen's New Media Awards. Since the school was setup on line to promote new media making learning more accessible it's very nice to see them being nominated for their work.

Celluloid Sexism



An interesting piece in the Edinburgh Evening News explaining how one local cinema banned males from the the first three rows of the auditorium for the opening weekend of Ocean's Twelve in order to save the space for desparate women who want to be as close to the screen to ogle George and Brad as possible.



One the one hand this is a bit of ridiculous hen-night-style fun for the girls. On the other hand it's exactly the sort of thing that, were the gender roles reversed, the women would be berating men over. I know from my own time at a female-dominated college (I loved it, of course) that if I casually remarked how cute a girl going past was I was a 'pig' according to my female companions, who would then go on to make numerous remarks about the tight arse on the boy coming down the refrectory stairs and what they would like to do it.



That of course, was completely different. Ah, sexual equality, ain't it wonderful?



Just as well the cinema wasn't doing this in the US in case they ended up being sued by a group of male cinephiles for sexual discrimination. Or, given George and Brad both have plenty of gay male fans, sued for homophobic discrimination. Seriously though, can you imagine the abuse that would be heaped upon us if there was a similar guys-only set of front rows for a new movie with a large ensemble of cute leading ladies? Come on, girls, admit it - some women can be just as silly as they accuse men of being. But then that's part of the fun in life.

It's Buffy, I totally, like, swear...



Those wonderfully tasteless folk over at B3TA have on their games page the fabulous Swearing Buffy game!



Warning - if you are easily offened you better not look at it.



In fact if you are easily offended you probably shouldn't be reading this page either.



Come to think of it, if you are one of those boring people who insist on being 'offended' by just about everything you probably should never go online at all.



Thinking more: if you are the sort of person who gets so easily offended by things you go looking for to be offended by then not only shouldn't you look at the Buffy game, this site, anything online you probably shouldn't ever switch on your TV, radio, read a newspaper or even open your front door.

On the growth of Californians



And another birthday must be marked as our lovely, gloriously naughty Lili ("lili, lili, lili, legs..." - Headley Lamar, Blazing Saddles as he drools over the wonderful Madeline Khan) who has recently turned %* years old. Thanks to a healthy blend of Californian smog and the physical abuse of virile men she, of course, looks much younger.



Lili was born XX years ago in a small saloon-bordello on the Nevada-California border where she won the hearts of many cowboys as she learned to walk in her home-knitted cowboy boots (with spurs) and her first whip. It is from here she took her life-long love of heels and where she is thought to have been inspired to create the world's first stilleto-heeled cowboy boot in her teens.



A string of high-profile romances with some of California's most powerful wealthy and celebrated citizens earned her the sobriquet 'The Californian Concubine', with the difference being she ran her men as a harem, not the other way around (welcome to the future boys, the sisters may do it for themselves or with you, but only on their rules).



Although now settled down somewhat and restricting herself to one man (taken several times a day and more often at night) this seemingly respectable married mother, business woman, Lakers fan and collector of antique marital aids still releases her dark side on her blog, slipping the civilised mask and letting loose the superheroine Superslutte who fights for Truth, Justice, Sleaze and a damn good orgasm. We wish her many happy birthday orgasms and hope her poor husband has access to a lot of vitamin pills after the birthday promise he made to her.

On the growth of Norwegians



A belated happy birthday is issued from the editorial staff of the Woolamaloo Gazette to young mister Vegar, being, as of the other day, 36 (a whole year younger than us, the swine, how dare he). One of the finer exports from Norway, along with Salted Herring Ale, Vegar is a freelance programmer of computers designing Viking Longships, an expert in the Scandinavian martial art of Seal Tossing and also a good mate and fellow crew member of the Alien Online. He has also been known to be a charitable man who buys beer for wandering Scottish booksellers lost in Manchester after their bank card has been swallowed by their ATM and their pockets have exploded.



Vegar was born just over 36 years ago in Tromso, Norway. As is common in the land of the Slartibartfast-designed fjords in February it was cold and a snow storm was blowing. Vegar's mother had been happily knitting baby ski-shoes for her new arrival when she felt the beginnings of labour. Alas the snowstorm had blocked all of the roads and Vegar's father had to ride out for medical help on a large Arctic seal across the freezing fjord. Unable to reach the midwife he sought help from a more tradional (for Norwegians anyway) source and took himself, by seal, to a nearby cave under a bridge. Thus is was young Vegar was brought into the world by a Troll as a midwife.



At the age of five he began his studies of the ancient art, handed down from his Viking ancestors, of Seal Tossing. This has proved handy over the years and there are few roughnecks who are still standing in a bar brawl after being slapped around the head and body with a stuffed seal wielded by an irate (and inebriated) Norwegian Seal Tosser (sixth level). On his tenth birthday he was ceremoniously presented with his favourite Viking war axe. Although mostly a ceremonial weapon these days it is still used on occassion, most often on people who think he is Swedish and ask him to sing an Abba medley.



Now living in the north of England, Vegar is happily married with two children (currently preparing for their Seal Tossing studies) and a Troll in the garden shed called Hauvar. In his mid-thirties he still dreams of taking the stage as a Rock God and punching papaprazzi photographers afterwards. On weekends he enjoys taking the kids sailing in his longboat for a spot of pillaging, although these raids are mostly confined to attacks on the local muffin shop and the council tax offices. We wish him happy birthday and many more healthy ones to come.

My Interstellar Journey to the Forbidden Planet



I was invited down to London yesterday for a friendly chat at Forbidden Planet International after they had contacted me last week. FP are wanting to improve their graphic novels and SF books side of the business and wanted someone who could promote good books, select them and who was enthusiastic for the genre (there are plenty of folks at FP who, like me, are seriously into the books, comics, RPGs etc which they sell; they retail them but they are also fans). They had heard of me though all that had happened and liked what they saw - the kind words of support from you all has really helped here and again I thank you all.



I will be based in the Edinburgh branch and start on Monday 14th - so a nice Valentine's present for me as Matthew remarked - with interaction with other crew and perhaps some branch visits etc as required. Obviously I am happy to be going back to work again - it is a great weight off me. I am even more delighted to be going to a better job (and better pay, thank you) where my enthusiasm, knowledge and skills have been actively sought and encouraged.



I am also over the moon to remain in the book trade and to be in a position where I can continue to promote good writing and exciting new authors. I'll be doing online work and hopefully working with the store staff on in-shop material too. We have ideas to begin with but it is the kind of new post that is going to mutate as it goes along and I'm sure both FP and myself will be coming up with new directions and ideas for me to perform. Frankly I'm looking forward to that aspect of the post - it will be a lot of work but I'm sure if I can promote good SF in a mainstream store I can really do it here. The fact that the post is likely to grow and change as we think on new areas I can contribute to is great and I'm pleased that I'm still going to be a part of the SF community as a fan, a reviewer and a bookseller.



And no, I didn't meet Leslie Neilsen or Robbie the Robot on the journey (and I was on the look out for Monster from the ID) and if I am honest it was inter-city rather than interstellar, but that's artistic license for you :-). I did have a trip into deepest, darkest Essex to visit the warehouse. There were so many piles of Spike figures from Buffy that it would have had female fans of James Masters (and some of the boys too I guess) exploding from the groin outwards. There was an incredible Spider-Man which was basically a life-size decoration - I know one mate who would love it as an alternative garden ornament (beats the hell out gnomes, but harder to take on airplane rides a la Amelie).

Dead by Dawn



The always-excellent horror film festival Dead by Dawn returns to its customary home in the Edinburgh Filmhouse (also home to the French Film Fest, Italian Film Fest, The Edinburgh International Film Fest... Well, basically it is a bloody great place for people who seriously like movies. Damned good food and beer in the cafe bar too, all five minutes from the Castle).



Spotted via the good offices of our News Editor Sandy on the mighty Alien Online, Adele Hartley, the festival director, has the site up and running for the 2005 bash in April. Readings, a huge number of feature films (normally including films fresh to the circuit) and shorts (if you want to enter a short details are available on the site). And there's a late night license so it really is festival party timeas you watch flickering celluloid horror to the wee small hours!





Radio Ga Ga



Well, actually Radio NYC, but Radio Ga Ga sounded better as a headline (original version with Freddie and the boys of course, although the Electric 6 one is fun). Ashley, a British journalist in New York kindly emailed me the link to the public radio programme Marketplace which featured an article on bloggers running foul of their employers. Yours truly is in there after a transatlantic phone interview - isn't technology wonderful? Still no word on the appeal eight days ago though.

Latest



For those who have been asking there still has been no word on the appeal which was a week ago this afternoon. Myself and the union can only assume that it is being given some decent consideration and common sense will prevail, but we'll just have to wait and see.



On the job front I have been plugging away on job searches, printing off CVs and filling in numerous application forms. Depressing to fill in so many almost identical forms within a few days and very time consuming. Between the appeal, job hunting, filling in applications etc I've been pretty busy. For those nice souls who have asked: no job has materialised yet although I have several applications in with more to go this week and a couple of knock-backs already.



However, I also have an interview later this week for a company who read of me and think I they may have a post for me. Nothing in life is certain of course, so you'll forgive me for not saying much about it just now but suffice to say it was a morale boost just to be asked to go down for a chat with them and it is a company and position I think I could do a lot for and, equally important, would enjoy doing. I'll let you know how it goes when I can.

Bestselling?



Found this interesting article on the Times Online via Blog of a Bookslut: apparently the Scottish book Bestseller's chart compiled by the SPA (Scottish Publisher's Association) should be filed under the heading 'fiction'. The article claims that the placings of certain titles often bear no relation to the actual sales figures here in chilly Caledonia.



I'm actually a little surprised since among the many things I've done in the book trade over the years compiling bestsellers for Scottish titles to provide to the SPA was something I managed often (I was asked by our former events person to keep them up to date when she was busy). The national figures are compiled by the SPA from individual bookstores in this manner and I was happy to do our bit, especially since I've always supported Scottish writing in all shapes and forms (I still contribute to a Scottish history journal).



Obviously such a system can only be as accurate as the information supplied to the SPA by booksellers. I know that the information we supplied as a branch was accurate and I can't see why any other bookstores would be misleading, so it is all a bit of a surprise and understandably has annoyed several authors.



For you information, gentle reader, here was the breakdown of the last Scottish Books Bestsellers I was privy to before the Expulsion (in reverse order):



10) Tossing the Caber - a History of Male Masturbation in the Scottish Highlands, 1703-2005 by Professor Archie McShoogle.



9) The Bonnie Prince - Charlie: Stylish Dresser or Cross Dresser? by Michael Dundee Smith.



8) Festival Floozy - How To Score With Celebs at the Edinburgh Festival, by Angela Hussybum.



7) Singularity Beards by Charles Stross



6) The Adventures of Comrade SpaceSquid, volume one of the Reactionary Forces trilogy by Ken MacLeod



5) Pictures of Scottish Castles and Glens at sunset by Colin Baxter



4) Pictures of Scottish Castles and Glens at sunrise by Colin Baxter



3) Why My New Novel is Overdue by Alisdair Gray



2) Consider a Curry, by Iain M Banks



1) Inspector Rebus: How Clean is Your Crime Scene? by Ian Rankin



I ask you, how could that be taken as ficticious? Oh okay - Iain Banks and Ian Rankin take half the top ten for themselves and Oor Wullie and the Broons take the rest!