Pope Uber Alles

Nice of the Catholic Church to take this opportunity to show the world they can adapt the the modern world by sequestering a number of 70 year old Cardinals (and what does a baseball team know about theology?!?!?) in secret to hold a ballot in a mysterious ceremony - no wonder so many folk read Dan Brown's thrillers and think there must be some truth in them! And then elect a pope who is a former member of the Hitler Youth (admittedly it was compulsary when he was young) and who is often referred to as "God's Rotweiller".

Sounds like he'll be able to reach out to minorities just the way Jesus did... And is it just me or when all the media attention was focussed on the Vatican chimney did any of you think what is going on in there? Are the cardinals having an indoor BBQ??? Perhaps they're all skinning up and getting wasted and that's where all the smoke is coming from...



Come to think of it, I reckon some of them could do with a relaxing stoner session, mellow the old buggers out a bit (although in fairness, here in the UK men of such advanced years would be expected to work for another 20 years as High Court judges). And this all reminds me of a new comic I came across in the advance previews at work, due this summer, with the fabulous title Battle Pope - when he's not saying mass he's kicking ass! Actually I think it was around before but seems to be getting another chance at comic fame, or infamy depending on your point of view. Anyway, my old mate Adrock, suffering the pangs of ciggie withdrawal by stuffing himself with pasta in his new home in Oz certainly isn't impressed with the new Pontiff.

I received this email today, so in the spirit of social awareness I thought I'd post it for those who may be interested:

"The Women’s Art Library (Make) former publisher of Make Magazine is pleased to announce that the research collection is now housed in the Special Collections of Goldsmiths College Library. The Women’s Art Library (Make) continues to collect and provide information on contemporary women artists."

Whatever happened to manners?

Walking home on a cold but sunny spring evening from work I paused at a busy road to wait for a break in the traffic. Rush hour with cars whizzing past and pedestrians stalking along, eyes down, pushing past other equally ignorant pedestrians. Standing a few feet from me as I wait is a woman in her 20s tapping her white cane against the kerbside. She was quite obviously requiring a wee hand yet everyone passed her by. I asked if she wanted some assitance and helped her across the road, wondering how long she'd had to wait for someone to offer.

And I wondered just how we've ended up with a society where most folk wouldn't even think to pause for a moment and help a blind person across a busy street. Is it the same kind of selfish mentality that leads folk to shove through shop doors and let them swing shut behind them without looking rather than pause, look back, hold the door ajar for anyone behind you? The ignorant, selfish sense that leads folk to ignore their elderly neighbours struggling up the stairs of the tenement with heavy shopping? The same selfish outlook that lead a rich woman with her children in a huge Mercedes to drive right through the pedstrian crossing at Haymarket this morning, while the green man was on and people crossing?

We do seem to becoming increasingly selfish and mannerless and it seems to me to be endemic, spread across all age groups and social classes. With examples like the Merc-driving woman shoving across the crossing like a panzer I'm moved to wonder just how horribly rude and arrogant her children (sitting in the car on the school run) will be when they grow up. When I was very young I vividly remember my dad pulling over the car on the way into Glasgow. He had seen a blind man trying to cross the road and he pulled over the car, got out, helped the man across, came back, got into the car and continued on our way. Neither he or my mum said anything to me - they didn't lecture me on proper behaviour or anything like that; this lesson was far more effective and one I've never forgotten.

Perhaps I'm being old-fashioned but I tend to think good manners and being able to offer a wee hand to others rubs off and encourages others to do the same, make the world a wee bit better. When everyone acts selfishlessly it has a similar effect. I think I know which example I prefer. It's a sad day when folk become so unwilling to offer a hand to another.

Myth

My chum Sandy Auden has just posted an excellent chat with one of my favourite history writers and presenters, Michael Wood. I've mentioned Michael's excellent books and BBC series here before and was once surprised to be contacted by the adminstrator of a web resource on South American history because I had been commenting on Michael's Conquistadors and they wanted to link to the comments (which was very flattering and a reminder of how linked up we are today).

Michael's recent series and book was In Search of Myths and Heroes, which I thought was a natural progression for him since in all of his series he has explored not only history but oral tradition and myth, a quality which is especially noticeable in In Search of the Trojan War and In the Footsteps of Alexander (do yourself a favour, ignore Ollie Stone's dismal movie and watch Michael's series instead). In the Alexander series there were a number of scenes in the East where native tribesmen would recount for him ancient poems handed down century after century detailing the epic of Alexander, recited around camp fires, the way humans have told tales since before even Homer.

I see from Sandy's excellent interview that this is a quality Michael has been quite concious of and indeed influenced the making of this latest series. He is also excellent in relating ancient to modern, making long-past events and myths relevant to a modern audience not necessarily familiar with them; in one scene following Jason and the Argonauts he remarked that once they left the Meditteranean they were, as a more modern myth would put it, 'boldly going where no-one had gone before.'

It shouldn't be much of a surprise to anyone that a person who reads so much history and fantasy would find mythologies so compelling. I've just read Karen Amrstrong's A Short History of Myth due from Canongate later this year as part of a series of books by contemporary authors re-working ancient myth (the series will be simultaneously released by 24 publishers around the world). Many of our best fiction writers use myth and folklore to great effect: Gaiman, Holdstock, Aldiss to name but a handful.

When used skilfully it achieves great effects because they are using themes and stories which humans have passed down for thousands of years and they resonate, sometime conciously, sometimes at an unconcious level. Myths should never be written of as the mumblings of primitive peoples struggling to understand their world. Although many do discuss subjects such as gods and creation stories, they are less about those subjects and far more about people. That's why they are still relevant and why gifted writers still re-work them for modern audiences.

Spring

Today is cold and gray and rather more like February than April, but there have been some signs of spring in the last week. We had a few very bright, sunny days with clear blue skies. Raising my eyes from my book I looked out of the window on the top deck of the bus as we passed the nearby graveyard. The trees are still mostly skeletal, but from the upper deck I could see little green shoots budding in the spring morning light, the branches gently scratching along the bus roof.

On Princes Street the blossoms are slowly growing and flowering on the trees in the Gardens (see Xenarche's Fotolog here for a lovely picture of the blossoms). The rising sun was filtered right through the branches, bathing everything in a warm, golden glow. The tulips and daffodils are bright against a grass which is becoming more verdant - the whole place is slowly re-greening as the Caledonian soil awakes from its winter slumber, the miracle of the seaons; rebirth and renewal returns to us once again. Within only a few days everything is noticeably greener - in a few weeks we will have that incredibly lush multiple mosaic of a thousand rich shades of green.

No wonder our ancestors incorporated this seasonal, natural event into their mytholgies the world over. Birth, death and rebirth litter our collective folklore and mythologies across all cultures and histories, from the very oldest such as Gilgamesh through Isis and Osiris, Demeter and eventually adapted to Christ (sorry to the religious among you - to you it is an article of faith, and fair enough, but to me it is a fascinating adaptation of a mythic archetype as old as humanity). It even enters our more normal, profane, everyday life - we talk about people being 'reborn' and changed by experiences, effectively like the heroes and gods of myth, dying to their old existence to accept death/change in order to be reborn.

I've been reading A Short History of Myth by Karen Armstrong this week on the bus, which fitted what I was looking at perfectly. It is a very short but absorbing read sent to me by a chum at Edinburgh's Canongate books which serves as a primer to an amazing new series they are doing, where contemporary authors will rework any piece of world myth they choose (Margaret Atwood is doing the Penelopiad, reworking the tale of Ulysses from Penelope's point of view). The series mirrors the world-wide nature of shared human myth by having the simultaneous publishing of the first books by 24 publishers around our little world - a very intersting idea and one I'll hopefully be able to support at work since these books will, by their nature, appeal to the literary-minded fantasy readers.

Also had the pleasure of re-reading Alasdair Gray's A History Maker from Canongate, who published a new and revised edition (Alasdair can't resist tinkering and I don't think he ever considers any work finished). It is a short but fascinating take on the Utopian SF story by one of the most respected of living Scottish writers, complete with his trademark artwork and notes. Its a great little meditation on politics, war, society, gender roles and human nature and society. Goes perfectly with the recent limited edition Jocasta novel from Brian Aldiss, re-working the Theban Plays by Sophocles

Moving image

At least I did manage to squeeze in a couple of visits to the Emporium of the Moving Image in the last ten days. The Rage in Placid Lake is a terrifically quirky little Australian indie movie. Placid, raised by new-age parents who are so hip they send him to school in a dress to 'challenge' perceptions, is a bit screwed up and finally decides to be 'normal', taking a job in an insurance firm and trying to fit in, much to his parents' horror. Think on a weird Australian take on the Modern Parents from Viz comic but much better done and with a lot of emotional honesty and sympathy that most of us will empathise with. A great wee film and one well worthy of your support.

Finally caught the Machinist a few days ago – very odd little film, kind of Jacob’s Ladder crossed with Memento, shot as if by Darren Aronofsky (around his Requiem for a Dream and Pi period - and by the way he has a fascinating looking graphic novel called the Fountain out this August, which is a 'director's cut' of the Fountain movie he is making with Hugh Jackman - more on that later).

Very weird, even by my standards, but very interesting. Christian Bale is amazing in it, although it is very difficult to look at his emaciated form (hard to believe he got down to this weight then had to go bulk up again right after for Batman Begins). He does resemble a Belsen victim, an image re-enforced at one point when he puts on a stripey shirt that is far too big for his shrunken frame. The camera often moves across his half-naked, ravaged frame in an almost fetishistic manner, forcing the viewer’s gaze, challenging it.

Of course, a few days later it was the anniversary of the Allied liberation of the Bergen-Belsen death camps and there were those haunting images for real - no wonder some of the British, Canadian and American troops shot the SS guards hiding among the prisoners out of hand. I can't condone that, but if I had been there I'm not sure I would have stopped them. The BBC had a particularly good audio-visual presentation combining Dimbleby’s radio report with a slide show to mark the occasion. Incredibly difficulty to listen to and look at, but then it should be and we should look at it, because there are still people out there who says these events never happened and who call for people who are ‘different’ from us to be treated differently.

These people are one step from ‘untermenschenen’, racial ‘purity’ and hatred of all that they dislike. And some of them are out there campaigning right now in the election here – and I’m not just talking about the far-right nutters who proclaim there ain’t no black in the Union Jack (and I don’t care how much you protest you are ‘nationalists’ and ‘patriots’, you’re not, you’re bloody Nazis and as far as I’m concerned that makes you a traitor rather than a patriot after all this nation gave to eradicate that pollution from the world).

I’m also talking about the Tories and the Labour bandwagons playing the race card, vilifying immigrants and travelling folk alike. When the far-right have gained some council seats in a few Northern cities, feeding on hunger politics, the main parties should be distancing themselves ever further from such ideas, instead of greedily chasing the votes such hatred-stoking brings. That’s how discrimination remains among us and that’s how low-level discrimination can grow, even in a civilised, advanced, educated society to a hatred and fear which will contemplate any treatment of those it learns to blame and hate.


That is, after all, what happened in 1933 in Germany. Not in some Third World country of rural, uneducated folks, right here in the heart of Europe, within living memory. Ah freak one-off? The terrible events in the former Yugoslaviashow us we cannot allow ourselves the comfort of that flawed myth. And yet here we have our ‘responsible’ politicians stoking racial and national prejudices once more while decrying the right wing fascists for the exact same thing. It is only one small step from villifying immigrants to ethnic cleansing. It all rebounds upon our society of course, for a community riven by hatred will eat itself in fear and loathing and violence and distrust. No wonder so many people no longer wish to vote.

Busy, busy

Every time I vow not to let more than a few days elapse between postings I find I get busy and several days lapse between postings… Oh well, the road to Hell is paved with good intentions, which explains why when I go to see my old mucker Satan (or ‘Stan’ as we call him) I find it easier to take the train (underground train of course) rather than drive since good intentions make for a poor paving surface and the resultant constant road works on the Highway to Hell lead to gridlock and tailbacks which are, appropriately enough, hellish.

Very busy but productive week for me – my colleague Lee was up to install new software and give me some instruction so I can get a more direct handle on the soon-to-be-launched, all-new graphic novels site. It’s a massive amount of work, between the constant new material required to be put on in good time and checking and updating the existing entries to the new standards while getting to grips with a new software package (which lacks a bloody ‘undo’ function!!! Arrrgghh!).

Still, I’m not complaining – it’s a genre close to my heart that I’ve posted many reviews of over the years and here I am being given a chance to roll my sleeves up and help shape FPI’s graphic novels site. Several members of staff, friends, fellow reviewers and authors have also been persuaded to supply me with their personal top ten graphic novels for a nice little feature for the site when it launches, so it is going to be more than just a webstore and although the task is a little daunting its fun too. Also nice to meet Lee at last – we work together everyday via email and instant messenger, but this was the first time we’d met in person. Naturally some post-work beer and food was required (can’t work properly without fuel you know).

The Declaration of Arbroath, Scotland, April 6th, 1320

"It is in truth not for glory, nor riches, nor honours that we are fighting, but for freedom - for that alone, which no honest man gives up but with life itself."

Bloggerview

Always trying to think on different items for the FPI blog at work I decided to try some short interviews - blogs aren't necessarily the best place for a full length review, but I thought a mini-review could work and it looks to be a good way to supplement and compliment the reviews I've been posting. So today I asked one of the first authors mentioned on the new blog, Ian Hocking, if he would mind answering a few questions, which I'm glad to say he did - it's live over on the FPI site. If anyone wants to have a look and leave a comment, there's a work contact at the top header.

Good old day on the work blog actually today - a few weeks ago I blogged about artist Michael Zulli after following a link from Neil Gaiman's journal. Michael is working on his final Morpheus portrait - he is tired of always being asked for Sandman images, so he is doing one final one but is posting the work in progress, from sketch to finished oil work. It's a clever way of sharing a creative process that most of us don't get to see and is well worth a visit. Michael very kindly gave me his permission to post a couple of examples on the FPI blog and obviously his own page has full-sized versions (and all of the rest too). A signed hardback of Sandman - the Wake is one of my prized signed books; a nice Sandman drawing by Neil on the inner page and Michael's gorgeous artwork - luscious book.

Woolamaloo decides

Life here in the People's Republic of Woolamaloo is generally quiete. Sure there is the odd raid on the post office and liquer store by the Kangaroo Liberation Front (KLF), but generally the most exciting thing to happen recently was when Drongo McSpuddin got drunk at sheep sheering time and accidentally shaved himself instead of the sheep.

However, that rare beast Excitement has arrived in dusty Woolamaloo as an election was announced. Woolamaloo's Prime Minister, Cheeser Hogan - known to everyone in town as 'Cheshire' because of his constant fixed grin - called for parliament to be disolved (usually done by pouring a mixture of acid and flat lager over the building - this makes election here very expensive since we have to replace the parliament building each time we vote. Luckily the parliament building is usually someone's old barn with some folding chairs in it).

Cheshire has been PM now for several parliaments and many are wondering if he will make it through to another session. He lost a lot of voters when he backed Bush and dispatched two entire battalions of koalas and two and a half soliders from Woolamaloo's crack Fosters Regiment to Iraq (the half would be Legs McKenzie, who lost both legs capturing the vicious Man Eating Mutant Sheep of Mobadonga gorge and is reckoned a hero round here). This may not sound like much to the bigger countries, but it still makes for a superior force to the Italian army. However, no-one can tell if this will be enough to give Johnny Walker of the Loosely Liberal Party or Vlad Tepesh of the Concerned Conceited Conservative Party the edge to prise power from Cheshire or not.

People here are especially worried about the security of postal voting after an investigation found 342 postal ballots with the same signature stuffed inside a kangaroo's pouch. Since some of the outlying homes and farms may be up to 40 miles from town it was hoped postal voting might be a boon to the turnout figures, but now the electorate have no trust in the system. Will there be more voting irregularities? Will there be a swing to the KLF? Or will no-one bother to actually vote?Naturally will bring you more of the thrilling election news from Woolamaloo as it develops.

Fictional pussy

No, not the naughty variety - get your heads out of the gutter, you filthy lot (Lili, yes you, girl, siiting in the back of the classroom looking at teacher's cane - I'm talking to you here). Actually the four legged variety of pussies (and the type who occassionally wear boots) - the full text has kindly been made available of Frtiz Leiber's short story told from the point of view of a smart young kitten trying to work out his place in the family.


Dalek Fundamentalist threatens Parliament

I found this via Cheryl Morgan's excellent Emerald City: a Dalek was stopped outside Parliament in London by armed, anti-terrorist police worried about an attack. Turned out to be a stunt for a Doctor Who play - the police were not amused. Yeah, I can see their point - sliding a Dalek full of C-4 is just the sort of thing some fundamentalist might do... Presumably the same over-reacting plods would arrest the Time Lord himself if he had turned up to save the world from the Daleks and held him without charge as an illegal immigrant and security threat...

...Which brings me neatly to this week's Doctor Who. Have to agree with an earlier point raised here by Anonymous (one of the most prodigious authors of all history) and say that so far the use of single episodes of 45 minutes doesn't seem to sit very comfortably with the show. Perhaps when/if it opens up to two parters it may be better. Still, it was a fun episode and the revelation that Gallifrey no longer exists and the Doctor is the last Time Lord was spine-tingling.

First of all to old fans like me it was 'what?' Followed by 'when did that happen?' Then 'how did that happen?' 'Who did it?' How did they do it?' and it also begs the question, are the perpetrators now looking throughout time and space for the Doctor? And who could wipe out the Time Lords? I mean, since they have the power to remove your entire world from space-time and make it as if it never existed how could anyone destroy them and who would dare?

And you'd have to wipe them out throughout all of time as well, logically - since Time Lords exist all through time if they are wiped out in the future the earlier ones will notice and prevent it, so you'd have to wipe them all out throughout space-time simultaneously. And logically that would mean the Doctor too, so possible plot hole coming up, but be interesting to see how they deal with it. Certainly has the air of something which is going to slowly unfold throughout the new series.

For the first episode last week though we made a special night of it. Gordon and I went through to our friends Bobby and Margaret Anne's to watch the show with them and their wee boys (who are 2&1/2 and 4&1/2) who love watching old Who on their dad's DVDs. Other chums came over too and it was a great night with us all watching together (with a little drinkie, naturally). We loved it, the kids were rapt throughout - truly it did appeal to all ages groups, wee kids and big kids alike! Followed by curry, more booze then the chaps took part in the Port Tradition while the ladies retired from the Billiards Room.

Well, not quite, but for some utterly obscure reason over the years we have developed this bizarre ritual among the guys where we have the most ridiculous toasts with Port, always delivered in the style of 19th century officers of the Bengal Lancers. No, I don't know why, nor why the girls don't join in. I suspect it has something to do with being rather drunk before reaching the Port stage.

Read any good wars lately?

Spotted a couple of unusual items on the web in the last few days to do with the American military (and hello to you as you no doubt monitor blogs for key words like 'American', 'military', 'Allah' and 'Penguin'). Dave Langford's Ansible had a piece on required reading lists for the Marine Corps (nicely graded for various ranks). Apparently the list was changed a little after 9-11. I suppose we should just be glad that they do insist even the grunts of the forces should read something...

Then another article which appeared in various news sources - one on the BBC was 1st April, so I thought it was a joke, but it has appeared in various other places since -although it could still be a joke. At least I hope it is... the US military are looking for someone to tender to produce a propoganda comic for consumption in the Middle East. Perhaps it isn't a joke since there is this information on a government site about federal business opportunities. Hmmm, maybe I should write a superhero comic for them? All about a superhero called Sarchasm, who uses his mighty powers of satire to overthrow evil regimes and rid the world of weapons of mass destruction, aided by his bullet-time cats in ninja suits, fighting for Truth, Justice and the Sarcastic way of life.

Of course Sarchasm would tackle such evils wherever he found it, so the current US administration may be in trouble there - something tells me they may not approve a comic book where ninja cats take out the Secret Service while Sarchasm takes over the mic at the State of the Union address to tell it like it is. Would go down well in the Middle East though, and that is what they're looking for after all...

A press release from my union, the RBA:

"Joe Gordon, the bookseller dismissed by his employer for airing his thoughts in a web log (“Blog”), has successfully appealed against his dismissal and has been offered reinstatement. He had, however, been headhunted by The Forbidden Planet chain of specialist bookshops, and an amicable settlement was achieved in place of reinstatement.

<>
Paul Lee, RBA National Officer, said “It is good to see that common sense prevailed and pleasing to report that our representations in the internal appeal were well heard and acted upon. I was surprised by the original, local decision to dismiss as Waterstone’s has a good reputation in such matters, and the company is generally very open-minded. Things may have been different, however, if commentary such as this had been truly in the public domain rather than in a hard to find blogsite”"

And yes, folks, that is it all over finally and I can tell you about it. Actually the appeal was upheld several weeks ago and I was offered re-instatement, but by this time I had been offered a new post with Forbidden Planet International and I really couldn't tell you all about it until something was worked out. To be fair Waterstone's got together freely with Paul, my stalwart union rep, to work out an equitable and amicable deal in place of re-instatement and so, after a long haul these events have now come to quite a civilised end, thanks in no small part to the efforts of the union (thanks, guys - having you in my corner helped to lift the weight and once again I commend them to anyone not in a union).

It has often been stressful and my friends and family have been quite wonderful in ensuring that I didn't succumb to the hovering vultures of depression or anxiety during it all. And finding a whole world (literally - folk from all over our little world; amazing) of new friends who I didn't even know was remarkable; the help and support I've enjoyed from the SF and the online and blogging community has been astonishing and I was taken aback at the media interest world-wide.

Back in the prehistoric days of the net, before GUIs and the web, we talked about a global electronic village and virtual communities. Having dinner with a friend recently she remarked that she thought this talk of virtual communities was nonsense (she didn't put it quite so delicately). Well, I've had a first-hand demonstration that there most certainly is a virtual community and that community cares and will help people they don't even know - recent use of the web and blogs for charity and to aid communications during the Asian Tsunami re-inforce this message, as does the growth in people supporting movements such as the Comittee to Protect Bloggers.

Folks, this whole period would have been far heavier to bear without all of that support, so well-intentioned and freely given and once again I thank you all for it very humbly; it really lifted me when I needed it and kept me going. Guess you could say I got by with a lot of help from my friends. The fact so many of you have been coming back to the Woolamaloo to visit is also very gratifying and I enjoy reading and interacting with your comments (isn't that one of the reasons why so many millions of us blog? Its not a solitary pursuit, it allows us to interact with so many different types of people) and I hope you'll still swing by. Now, if you'll excuse me I intend to go and have some very large drinks.

Doctor Who?

I have to say I am extremely disappointed with Christopher Ecceleston's decision to step down from his role as the Doctor already, only days after the triumphant return of Doctor Who to BBC screens (taking some 46% of the audience nationally). While I can undersand why any actor would wish to avoid the trap of being typecast, to take on this role and quit after one season seems to show a lack of commitment, especially when we're talking about a show which has only just been resurrected. Besides any actor in the UK should be fully aware of what this role entails - it's a British institution and he should know what he's getting into, so his reasoning seems flawed to me.

No-one expects him to do a run of Tom Baker proportions, but one season is rather weak - if he really felt this way surely we have to question why he took on the role? Its a shame because I thought he was rather good in the first episode; the new show seems to be pleasing old fans like me, new younger viewers and a lot of the critics (Americans mostly seem to be lost over the whole thing).

Still, the shock news of his sudden resignation did afford me the chance for some April Fool's leg-pulling as I tried to convince some of my colleagues that Eccleston's previous role as the second coming of Christ had gone to his head and that he quit because he believed this qualified him to be the new Pope. I also had another colleague half-believing that Stan Lee was willing to take over from the ailing Pontiff (well, he is always keen to recruit True Believers). Poisson d'Avril, as they say in France, although why the French would want to obtain a fish from a small, moody singer who whines about life when she's hardly lived any of it yet is beyond me.

And just to completely damn my immortal soul I then posed the question if the current Pope was known as John Paul would his successor be known as George Ringo? Well, they were Bigger Than Jesus allegedly... Yes, I know, I'm awful, but if you can't have a laugh in the face of events from time to time then the world would be much grimmer and without some leg-pulling people would be shorter.