Freedom?
While many of us have used our web presence to register disgust with warmongers, gun nuts, bigots and fundamentalist fuckers (Chistian as well as Muslim) it behoves us to remember that the rabid right wing 'Hitler was a pussy' stormtroopers are using the web for the same but inverted reasons. My mate in Michigan, Linus, sends me occassional snippets from this dreadful site - have a look and feel the fear. What can you expect from a web page which has an advert for Rush Limbaugh on the top of the page? For 'free people' everywhere, like Fox they're helping to overthrow that Liberal Media Bias. Well, gives them something to do between cross burnings I guess.
Saturday, August 30, 2003
I am the god of Hellfire and I bring you...
Fire. Fire extinguishers actually. Well, actually after a bizarre conversation with my colleague Kerry in our stafroom today about fetishes my warped mind somehow conceived the idea of someone with a sexual fetish for fire extinguishers. This being the 21st century I slapped 'fire extinguisher fetish' into Google and found there are certainly peple out there freakier than me. This Fetish Links site was geared perhaps not around extinguishers per se, but around an S&M relationship where the Master ignites something the Slave is wearing - although it advises extinguishers to be handy, so that's pretty close. They're obviously not alone as the neighbouring Fetish Alliance site had more information on fire fetishes while the PVC section of Teen Wares had a link to an online store selling PVC sleeves for your fire extinguishers.
Every time you guys think I've made up some far-fetched, outrageous nonsense the real world shows that actually I'm not as big a freak as you all thought!
Fire. Fire extinguishers actually. Well, actually after a bizarre conversation with my colleague Kerry in our stafroom today about fetishes my warped mind somehow conceived the idea of someone with a sexual fetish for fire extinguishers. This being the 21st century I slapped 'fire extinguisher fetish' into Google and found there are certainly peple out there freakier than me. This Fetish Links site was geared perhaps not around extinguishers per se, but around an S&M relationship where the Master ignites something the Slave is wearing - although it advises extinguishers to be handy, so that's pretty close. They're obviously not alone as the neighbouring Fetish Alliance site had more information on fire fetishes while the PVC section of Teen Wares had a link to an online store selling PVC sleeves for your fire extinguishers.
Every time you guys think I've made up some far-fetched, outrageous nonsense the real world shows that actually I'm not as big a freak as you all thought!
Thursday, August 28, 2003
Cosmopolitan
I had the delight of dealing with one of Edinburgh charming, urbane, cosmopolitan citizens tonight. Well, a drunken skinhead ned who came into our bookstore just as I was trying to empty the tills toward th end of the night, sloshing his Buckfast bottle about and giving me dog's abuse until I managed to force him out of the shop. And where was our security, you ask? Well our diminutive boss - who has fucked off one a long holiday - decreed we would stay open an extra hour during the Festival month. Now as we're already open until 8pm every goddam night that means now we're there until 9 - or later for those of us who have to lock up. However he still hasn't arranged for the security firm we deal with to cover that final hour, weeks after he changed the hours.
I've now heard that he plans to keep those hours going for September, despite saying it was only for the Festival. Naturally he never discussed it with staff or even bothered to tell us. And naturally he still hasn't arranged for the security to be there for the final hour. So there we are in the final hour late evening in a busy city centre after dark during hte time when we start taking tills off with no protection. Tonight I had to kick a drunken and obnoxious , foul-mouthed punk out. I am not a bouncer and that is not my job. I stuck in a formal complaint to our management demanding they either fix the security coverage or revert to the old hours which are already covered before a repeat incident - or worse occurs. Nice to know how much Waterstone's values the security and safety of it's staff (or even it's cash).
I had the delight of dealing with one of Edinburgh charming, urbane, cosmopolitan citizens tonight. Well, a drunken skinhead ned who came into our bookstore just as I was trying to empty the tills toward th end of the night, sloshing his Buckfast bottle about and giving me dog's abuse until I managed to force him out of the shop. And where was our security, you ask? Well our diminutive boss - who has fucked off one a long holiday - decreed we would stay open an extra hour during the Festival month. Now as we're already open until 8pm every goddam night that means now we're there until 9 - or later for those of us who have to lock up. However he still hasn't arranged for the security firm we deal with to cover that final hour, weeks after he changed the hours.
I've now heard that he plans to keep those hours going for September, despite saying it was only for the Festival. Naturally he never discussed it with staff or even bothered to tell us. And naturally he still hasn't arranged for the security to be there for the final hour. So there we are in the final hour late evening in a busy city centre after dark during hte time when we start taking tills off with no protection. Tonight I had to kick a drunken and obnoxious , foul-mouthed punk out. I am not a bouncer and that is not my job. I stuck in a formal complaint to our management demanding they either fix the security coverage or revert to the old hours which are already covered before a repeat incident - or worse occurs. Nice to know how much Waterstone's values the security and safety of it's staff (or even it's cash).
Conquistadors
I’ve been watching a repeat run of Michael Wood’s excellent Conquistadors series on UK History, detailing the Spanish conquest of Central and South America. The first Europeans coming to this strange, New World in the footsteps of Columbus found not only native Indian tribes but great civilizations that no-one had ever heard of in the Old World. The Incas and the Aztecs are only the best known. Organised cultures with cities in what had been foolishly assumed to have been a ‘barbarous’ land. But then the Spanish conception of barbarism was like that of the Greeks, the Romans, the Babylonians and countless others throughout history - barbarians are those who are different from us.
The final episode followed the epic journey of Da Vacca, his expedition left for dead after a disastrous trip into the unknown Florida interior (home of the Seminole Indians, the only tribe who never surrendered to the White Man). Trying to leave on hastily built ships they were wrecked off the coast of what is now Texas. Over nearly ten years he and his by then three companions travelled on foot through the many tribes, picking up languages, following trails that were probably thousands of years old. Walking through Texas, California, New Mexico, Mexico itself until, nearly a decade after they were given up as dead they walked into a Spanish colonial town in Central America.
They were changed men - unlike most of the conquerors they now saw the natives as human beings after their time amongst them and that violent conquest was wrong. He was ruined by his enemies after his return to Spain. The argument was not forgotten however and the King’s counsellors gathered to hear a debate between one of the greatest Dominican monks and a philosopher of the time. The philosopher argued some people were simply inferior and it was right for the superior (the Spanish) to exploit them. The monk argued that conquest was immoral because it meant waging war, and war against fellow human beings was immoral. And, he went on; all the peoples of the world were human beings, all equal, with the same faculties, abilities, passions. He argued for five days. There were moves to stop the conquests but by this time it was too late and the lust for power and gold drove ever harder men to exploit the people and land of the New World.
Much later similar arguments would concern other empire builders, especially here in the British Isles. The humanist philosophies of the Enlightenment period fuelled ever more debate on the rights and wrong of Empire. In turn this lead the British to argue their Empire was, like Britain itself, conceived in liberty, that they would improve the lot of their subjects then, when they were as ‘civilised’ as us we would step aside. Still the notions of superior and inferior however, but they were trying in a way that no other imperial power in history ever had. Despite all the ills of the time there were successes such as the abolition of slavery as abhorrent and vile. In fact they British then became staunch anti-slavers, Royal navy ships hunting those who still carried out this trade. In the new republic of America it was now held that “all men are created equal” - except the slaves naturally, and women. Post World War II and one of the worst examples of a powerful people judging another type of human to be inferior prompts the new United Nations to issue the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. Still today we have those who hold some people are inferior to others. It seems they will always be among us. But look back at that monk earnestly arguing for the dignity and equality of all humanity, 500 years ago and the good people who still struggle with this ideal today. There are an awful lot of miles in front of us still, but when you look back to that debate there is also cause for some hope.
I’ve been watching a repeat run of Michael Wood’s excellent Conquistadors series on UK History, detailing the Spanish conquest of Central and South America. The first Europeans coming to this strange, New World in the footsteps of Columbus found not only native Indian tribes but great civilizations that no-one had ever heard of in the Old World. The Incas and the Aztecs are only the best known. Organised cultures with cities in what had been foolishly assumed to have been a ‘barbarous’ land. But then the Spanish conception of barbarism was like that of the Greeks, the Romans, the Babylonians and countless others throughout history - barbarians are those who are different from us.
The final episode followed the epic journey of Da Vacca, his expedition left for dead after a disastrous trip into the unknown Florida interior (home of the Seminole Indians, the only tribe who never surrendered to the White Man). Trying to leave on hastily built ships they were wrecked off the coast of what is now Texas. Over nearly ten years he and his by then three companions travelled on foot through the many tribes, picking up languages, following trails that were probably thousands of years old. Walking through Texas, California, New Mexico, Mexico itself until, nearly a decade after they were given up as dead they walked into a Spanish colonial town in Central America.
They were changed men - unlike most of the conquerors they now saw the natives as human beings after their time amongst them and that violent conquest was wrong. He was ruined by his enemies after his return to Spain. The argument was not forgotten however and the King’s counsellors gathered to hear a debate between one of the greatest Dominican monks and a philosopher of the time. The philosopher argued some people were simply inferior and it was right for the superior (the Spanish) to exploit them. The monk argued that conquest was immoral because it meant waging war, and war against fellow human beings was immoral. And, he went on; all the peoples of the world were human beings, all equal, with the same faculties, abilities, passions. He argued for five days. There were moves to stop the conquests but by this time it was too late and the lust for power and gold drove ever harder men to exploit the people and land of the New World.
Much later similar arguments would concern other empire builders, especially here in the British Isles. The humanist philosophies of the Enlightenment period fuelled ever more debate on the rights and wrong of Empire. In turn this lead the British to argue their Empire was, like Britain itself, conceived in liberty, that they would improve the lot of their subjects then, when they were as ‘civilised’ as us we would step aside. Still the notions of superior and inferior however, but they were trying in a way that no other imperial power in history ever had. Despite all the ills of the time there were successes such as the abolition of slavery as abhorrent and vile. In fact they British then became staunch anti-slavers, Royal navy ships hunting those who still carried out this trade. In the new republic of America it was now held that “all men are created equal” - except the slaves naturally, and women. Post World War II and one of the worst examples of a powerful people judging another type of human to be inferior prompts the new United Nations to issue the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. Still today we have those who hold some people are inferior to others. It seems they will always be among us. But look back at that monk earnestly arguing for the dignity and equality of all humanity, 500 years ago and the good people who still struggle with this ideal today. There are an awful lot of miles in front of us still, but when you look back to that debate there is also cause for some hope.
Monday, August 25, 2003
Locked up again
Scottish Socialist MSP Tommy Sheridan is back behind bars once more as a result of his protests. He refused to pay a fine levied on him by the courts for a trumped up breach of the peace charge. This was the only charge the authorities could use to victimise him and many other peace campaigners. What was their terrible crime? They exercised their legitimate right to peaceful, non violent protest in a democratic nation. The crowd contained many well-known troublemakers such as pensioners and Church of Scotland ministers. So much for the freedom of expression. It seems it is prefectly alright to fight a war to - allegedly - stop the spread of Weapons of Mass Destruction when it suits our governments, but their own citizens expressing their inalienable rights to protests about the vast, awesome arsenal of atomic annihalation our countries possess is a no-no. The Roman trickster god Janus had only two faces - these hypocritical smeggers in power wear more faces than Imelda Marcos did shoes. Good on you, Tommy - I don't agree with everything you say, but you always stand up for what you believe in to the extent you are prepared to go to jail over it time and time again. That level of committment and honesty is something we don't normally see in politicians and should be encouraged.
Scottish Socialist MSP Tommy Sheridan is back behind bars once more as a result of his protests. He refused to pay a fine levied on him by the courts for a trumped up breach of the peace charge. This was the only charge the authorities could use to victimise him and many other peace campaigners. What was their terrible crime? They exercised their legitimate right to peaceful, non violent protest in a democratic nation. The crowd contained many well-known troublemakers such as pensioners and Church of Scotland ministers. So much for the freedom of expression. It seems it is prefectly alright to fight a war to - allegedly - stop the spread of Weapons of Mass Destruction when it suits our governments, but their own citizens expressing their inalienable rights to protests about the vast, awesome arsenal of atomic annihalation our countries possess is a no-no. The Roman trickster god Janus had only two faces - these hypocritical smeggers in power wear more faces than Imelda Marcos did shoes. Good on you, Tommy - I don't agree with everything you say, but you always stand up for what you believe in to the extent you are prepared to go to jail over it time and time again. That level of committment and honesty is something we don't normally see in politicians and should be encouraged.
Dig it
Inspired partly by a repeat of What the Victorians did for Us on UK History dealing with medicine and death, partly by my recent vampire fest, partly by my interest in Poe (revived recently by reading a book on Vincent Price's films) and partly by the fact I'm a gruesome Gothic kinda guy I did a little search on the web for Victorian funeral devices. So terrified by the very real possibility of being buried prematurely - something that haunted Poe through his short life - many devices were patented by Victorian inventors, from spring-loaded coffin lids to be activated from within to bells anf flags attached to ropes which led down a pipe to the not-so-deceased 6 feet under. From Beyond the Grave had nice little pieces on these devices, cases of premature burial and the human fear of death, premature burial and haunting by those who have gone before. Charming little piece to read, I commend it to you all.
While on my fascinating, if macabre, subject, I found some nice pictures of Greyfriar's Kirkyard in Edinburgh, where I spent many happy hours wandering around during my student days practising my black and white photography on the crumbling mausoleums, flitting around in my black duster coat. This site relates tales of Edinburgh's spookier parts, of which there are more than a few (and I'm not just talking about the spectral vision of my checkbook at the end of the month). It's also searchable and allows you to look for various Edinburgh and Scottish spooks. The Ghostlabs site belongs to a group of investigators in Manchester and boasts interesting picstures and videos files, well worth a wee look. Is this a sspook in this picture? Or is it just a load of nonsense?
Inspired partly by a repeat of What the Victorians did for Us on UK History dealing with medicine and death, partly by my recent vampire fest, partly by my interest in Poe (revived recently by reading a book on Vincent Price's films) and partly by the fact I'm a gruesome Gothic kinda guy I did a little search on the web for Victorian funeral devices. So terrified by the very real possibility of being buried prematurely - something that haunted Poe through his short life - many devices were patented by Victorian inventors, from spring-loaded coffin lids to be activated from within to bells anf flags attached to ropes which led down a pipe to the not-so-deceased 6 feet under. From Beyond the Grave had nice little pieces on these devices, cases of premature burial and the human fear of death, premature burial and haunting by those who have gone before. Charming little piece to read, I commend it to you all.
While on my fascinating, if macabre, subject, I found some nice pictures of Greyfriar's Kirkyard in Edinburgh, where I spent many happy hours wandering around during my student days practising my black and white photography on the crumbling mausoleums, flitting around in my black duster coat. This site relates tales of Edinburgh's spookier parts, of which there are more than a few (and I'm not just talking about the spectral vision of my checkbook at the end of the month). It's also searchable and allows you to look for various Edinburgh and Scottish spooks. The Ghostlabs site belongs to a group of investigators in Manchester and boasts interesting picstures and videos files, well worth a wee look. Is this a sspook in this picture? Or is it just a load of nonsense?
Sunday, August 24, 2003
Locked Up
In a room, a cage, a circle,
Disengaged a prisoner,
There's a tune I'll never dance to
But I'm forced to be a listener,
Wondering why I'm here,
In the wrong century
Wrong is all I ever see here
On this planet far too small for me
Locked up, inside and out
Locked up, chained to my heart
I'm locked up, chained to my head
Locked up I'm torn apart...
In the rain, the cold exposure
Growing older, losing faith
There's a view I'll never turn to
But my eyes wont close into escape
Wondering why I'm here
A flaw in some design?
Flaws are normal
Could it be that all the wrong
Is only in my mind?
Locked Up,
They Eat Their Own.
Listening to this old album again this week. I still think I'm the only person who ever heard of them, I've never met anyone else who has heard of them. Good aggro/protest rock.
In a room, a cage, a circle,
Disengaged a prisoner,
There's a tune I'll never dance to
But I'm forced to be a listener,
Wondering why I'm here,
In the wrong century
Wrong is all I ever see here
On this planet far too small for me
Locked up, inside and out
Locked up, chained to my heart
I'm locked up, chained to my head
Locked up I'm torn apart...
In the rain, the cold exposure
Growing older, losing faith
There's a view I'll never turn to
But my eyes wont close into escape
Wondering why I'm here
A flaw in some design?
Flaws are normal
Could it be that all the wrong
Is only in my mind?
Locked Up,
They Eat Their Own.
Listening to this old album again this week. I still think I'm the only person who ever heard of them, I've never met anyone else who has heard of them. Good aggro/protest rock.
Red Carpet
At the UGC cinema near my home on Thursday to see Boob Raider… Sorry Tomb Raider. Huge crowds gathered all around the entrance, news cameras, red carpet - who is it? Well, I’ve seen this several times at my local cinema recently because of Film Festival premieres. This wasn’t actually a Film Festival event however, but was a gala premiers of The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, The huge crows was there to see the arrival of the unofficial King of Scotland (despite not being here most of the year) the one and only Sean Connery. Quite fitting he should be there as his birth place, marked by a plaque, is only a few hundred yards from the cinema doors in Edinburgh’s Fountainbridge area.
It was quite odd when sitting in the auditorium later on - after they had let us ordinary folk into the bloody foyer to buy our tickets, we weren’t allowed in while Sean was there, not that any staff member bothered to tell us - one of the trailers was for the League - or LXG as they marketing folk are trying to brand it. It was peculiar to watch it, seeing Connery up there on the screen as Alan Quatermain while we knew he was only a few metres away in the next auditorium. I have to say I will go and see it when it opens soon, but from what I’ve heard and from the trailer I don’t hold much hope out for it. I know they have taken huge liberties with the excellent Alan Moore graphic novel, which tells fantastic adventure yarns using Victorian fictional characters as if they were real, such as Mina Harker, Doctor Jekyll and Captain Nemo. Still, I’ll hold my full comments until I have actually seen it, but I will say it has a lot to live up to.
At the UGC cinema near my home on Thursday to see Boob Raider… Sorry Tomb Raider. Huge crowds gathered all around the entrance, news cameras, red carpet - who is it? Well, I’ve seen this several times at my local cinema recently because of Film Festival premieres. This wasn’t actually a Film Festival event however, but was a gala premiers of The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, The huge crows was there to see the arrival of the unofficial King of Scotland (despite not being here most of the year) the one and only Sean Connery. Quite fitting he should be there as his birth place, marked by a plaque, is only a few hundred yards from the cinema doors in Edinburgh’s Fountainbridge area.
It was quite odd when sitting in the auditorium later on - after they had let us ordinary folk into the bloody foyer to buy our tickets, we weren’t allowed in while Sean was there, not that any staff member bothered to tell us - one of the trailers was for the League - or LXG as they marketing folk are trying to brand it. It was peculiar to watch it, seeing Connery up there on the screen as Alan Quatermain while we knew he was only a few metres away in the next auditorium. I have to say I will go and see it when it opens soon, but from what I’ve heard and from the trailer I don’t hold much hope out for it. I know they have taken huge liberties with the excellent Alan Moore graphic novel, which tells fantastic adventure yarns using Victorian fictional characters as if they were real, such as Mina Harker, Doctor Jekyll and Captain Nemo. Still, I’ll hold my full comments until I have actually seen it, but I will say it has a lot to live up to.
Fair play?
Comedian Al Franken is being sued in the US by Rupert “I Rule the World” Murdoch’s Fox News over his new book “Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell them”. Why? Well his subtitle includes the phrase “fair and balanced” which Fox News has trademarked as theirs. Quite how you can trademark a commonly used phrase is beyond me, but there you have it, that’s the American legal system for you. For those unfamiliar with Fox News it sets out deliberately to avoid the normal attempt at ‘unbiased’ reporting that all other news organisations at least pay lip service to, if not actually adhere to. Bad as Sky News is in the UK (Murdoch’s UK outlet) Fox news is even worse - it is supposedly there to put right the ‘liberal elite’s bias’ in the media. So it’s pretty much Republican, pro-NRA and calling for all French people and single mothers to be burned at the stake. Franken is said to be delighted to be sued as it helps to sell his book like never before and gives great publicity to it and his subject - biased, lying propagandists who hide behind a thin mask, posing as legitimate news reporters. Surely he could also sue Fox for using the term ‘fair and balanced’ when it is patently obvious they aren’t? Isn’t that illegal to make a claim you don’t hold to?
This was particularly interesting for me to read bout this week as the head of BSkyB - Murdoch's UK network - attacked the BBC and the license fee at this year's Edinburgh Television Festival. He claimed people didn't want a subsidised BBC and that they should sell of any successfull programmes to other networks in order to refinance in UK production. Considering Murdoch's netowkr puts almost no money into UK production whatsoever and never has that's pretty bloody cheeky. And besides, having seen Sky with wall to wall adverts and dreadful news coverage has made me appreciate the BBC all the more. It's worth paying the license fee just to save us from Murdoch's world domination.
Comedian Al Franken is being sued in the US by Rupert “I Rule the World” Murdoch’s Fox News over his new book “Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell them”. Why? Well his subtitle includes the phrase “fair and balanced” which Fox News has trademarked as theirs. Quite how you can trademark a commonly used phrase is beyond me, but there you have it, that’s the American legal system for you. For those unfamiliar with Fox News it sets out deliberately to avoid the normal attempt at ‘unbiased’ reporting that all other news organisations at least pay lip service to, if not actually adhere to. Bad as Sky News is in the UK (Murdoch’s UK outlet) Fox news is even worse - it is supposedly there to put right the ‘liberal elite’s bias’ in the media. So it’s pretty much Republican, pro-NRA and calling for all French people and single mothers to be burned at the stake. Franken is said to be delighted to be sued as it helps to sell his book like never before and gives great publicity to it and his subject - biased, lying propagandists who hide behind a thin mask, posing as legitimate news reporters. Surely he could also sue Fox for using the term ‘fair and balanced’ when it is patently obvious they aren’t? Isn’t that illegal to make a claim you don’t hold to?
This was particularly interesting for me to read bout this week as the head of BSkyB - Murdoch's UK network - attacked the BBC and the license fee at this year's Edinburgh Television Festival. He claimed people didn't want a subsidised BBC and that they should sell of any successfull programmes to other networks in order to refinance in UK production. Considering Murdoch's netowkr puts almost no money into UK production whatsoever and never has that's pretty bloody cheeky. And besides, having seen Sky with wall to wall adverts and dreadful news coverage has made me appreciate the BBC all the more. It's worth paying the license fee just to save us from Murdoch's world domination.
Bright Spark
During the recent enormous power outage that spread across a huge area of North America, from Toronto to Detroit my chums the Higleys in Michigan were victims of the brownout, caused by deregulation of the power industry (deregulation fucking up an industry, how unusual). Some folk are better prepared than others and my mate Lin is a cutting edge chemist and a strong advocate of alternative power sources. So it is with some smugness I report that he informs me his solar powered lamp produced so much light for the Higley manor that his neighbours thought he had somehow regained power. As Lin pointed out to me, if they fitted small 5Kw wind-driven generators to most of the pylons in the US they could boost power by around 50% - all pretty much free in terms of cost and pollution. Not much hope of that with Bush in the White House, sucking Satan’s cock for the black oily jism, but at least folk like Lin are trying to get alternate energy on the agenda.
During the recent enormous power outage that spread across a huge area of North America, from Toronto to Detroit my chums the Higleys in Michigan were victims of the brownout, caused by deregulation of the power industry (deregulation fucking up an industry, how unusual). Some folk are better prepared than others and my mate Lin is a cutting edge chemist and a strong advocate of alternative power sources. So it is with some smugness I report that he informs me his solar powered lamp produced so much light for the Higley manor that his neighbours thought he had somehow regained power. As Lin pointed out to me, if they fitted small 5Kw wind-driven generators to most of the pylons in the US they could boost power by around 50% - all pretty much free in terms of cost and pollution. Not much hope of that with Bush in the White House, sucking Satan’s cock for the black oily jism, but at least folk like Lin are trying to get alternate energy on the agenda.
Gratuitous nudity
Went out with my chum Melanie to see Swimming Pool, an Anglo-French movie starring Charlotte Rampling (former wife of Jean Michel Jarre). She played an extremely repressed and frumpy middle-aged crime novelist staying in her publisher’s holiday home in France. Her repressed desires are brought into sharper relief by the unannounced arrival of the publisher’s daughter, the nymphomaniac teenager Julie (Ludvine Sangier who was alos in 8 Women), who spends much of her time naked. French film makers have a very different attitude to nudity than the repressed Puritans of Britain or the US. God, I love French cinema! An unusual movie, quite funny in places (the thought of former sex-symbol Rampling, who once famously starred as a romantic lead with a chimp in Max, mon Amour, was funny in itself). Unusual ending which I won’t spoil but will say it makes you revise the first ¾ of the movie.
Went out with my chum Melanie to see Swimming Pool, an Anglo-French movie starring Charlotte Rampling (former wife of Jean Michel Jarre). She played an extremely repressed and frumpy middle-aged crime novelist staying in her publisher’s holiday home in France. Her repressed desires are brought into sharper relief by the unannounced arrival of the publisher’s daughter, the nymphomaniac teenager Julie (Ludvine Sangier who was alos in 8 Women), who spends much of her time naked. French film makers have a very different attitude to nudity than the repressed Puritans of Britain or the US. God, I love French cinema! An unusual movie, quite funny in places (the thought of former sex-symbol Rampling, who once famously starred as a romantic lead with a chimp in Max, mon Amour, was funny in itself). Unusual ending which I won’t spoil but will say it makes you revise the first ¾ of the movie.
It’s gospel, guv
I got a leaflet shoved through my door this afternoon. Normally not an unusual occurrence I’m afraid as lots of unwanted fliers are shoved through my doors regularly. But on a Sunday? What is it? A leaflet from the nearby Gorgie Gospel Hall, imploring me to come along and attempting to tempt me with a whole lot of Biblical quotations. Also included was a more professionally produced colour leaflet entitled Intruders! With a dramatic photograph of someone forcing their way into you home. Was this a leaflet with home security advice? No, it was more form the fucking Gospel morons.
Now I am annoyed at the sheer waste of unsolicited mail I receive. Personally I save it up and when I get crap with pre-paid envelopes, such as credit card solicitations, I put my saved junk mail into it and send it to them, thus completing a great circular journey of junk mail and also annoying one set of unwanted advertisers with unwanted advertising - the biter bitten. Phone calls, spam email and junk mail plus the most annoying, the cold-caller who actually comes to your door in the evening (usually just as you’re about to sit down to eat).
I particularly resented this bloody bit of mail. For starters these people - who I am sure in their minds, are trying to do good - have no idea who I am or what. I’m not religious, but what if I were? What if I were a committed Jew, Muslim, Catholic or Sikh? This would be offensive to me and it also smacks of extreme arrogance to assume that you know better than anyone else in matters of faith (or lack thereof). By all means practise what you wish, but going round badgering others in their homes is at best annoying and at worse insulting. Disguising you leaflet to look like something else in order to fool you into opening it and reading it is despicable and underhand.
The supreme irony is that the leaflet goes on to tell me how “everyone seems to be getting at us these days. A knock at the door and it’s a new religion; on the television it’s a new product you can’t afford to be without… There’s hardly anywhere you can be free from people trying to persuade you to join them…” Obviously these arrogant and immensely foolish evangelists have no concept of irony. It then goes on after this huge own-goal to tell me that the voice of God comes into all of this confusion and exhorts me to pray to Him right now. I’m praying all people who put unsolicited mail through people’s doors are visited with a plague of boils.
I got a leaflet shoved through my door this afternoon. Normally not an unusual occurrence I’m afraid as lots of unwanted fliers are shoved through my doors regularly. But on a Sunday? What is it? A leaflet from the nearby Gorgie Gospel Hall, imploring me to come along and attempting to tempt me with a whole lot of Biblical quotations. Also included was a more professionally produced colour leaflet entitled Intruders! With a dramatic photograph of someone forcing their way into you home. Was this a leaflet with home security advice? No, it was more form the fucking Gospel morons.
Now I am annoyed at the sheer waste of unsolicited mail I receive. Personally I save it up and when I get crap with pre-paid envelopes, such as credit card solicitations, I put my saved junk mail into it and send it to them, thus completing a great circular journey of junk mail and also annoying one set of unwanted advertisers with unwanted advertising - the biter bitten. Phone calls, spam email and junk mail plus the most annoying, the cold-caller who actually comes to your door in the evening (usually just as you’re about to sit down to eat).
I particularly resented this bloody bit of mail. For starters these people - who I am sure in their minds, are trying to do good - have no idea who I am or what. I’m not religious, but what if I were? What if I were a committed Jew, Muslim, Catholic or Sikh? This would be offensive to me and it also smacks of extreme arrogance to assume that you know better than anyone else in matters of faith (or lack thereof). By all means practise what you wish, but going round badgering others in their homes is at best annoying and at worse insulting. Disguising you leaflet to look like something else in order to fool you into opening it and reading it is despicable and underhand.
The supreme irony is that the leaflet goes on to tell me how “everyone seems to be getting at us these days. A knock at the door and it’s a new religion; on the television it’s a new product you can’t afford to be without… There’s hardly anywhere you can be free from people trying to persuade you to join them…” Obviously these arrogant and immensely foolish evangelists have no concept of irony. It then goes on after this huge own-goal to tell me that the voice of God comes into all of this confusion and exhorts me to pray to Him right now. I’m praying all people who put unsolicited mail through people’s doors are visited with a plague of boils.
Thursday, August 21, 2003
Light work
Proof if any be needed that even our most high-tech inventions are often an inferior imitation of something nature has developed herself, a long time before humans. Sea sponges have better light fibres than our finest opitcal fibre.
Proof if any be needed that even our most high-tech inventions are often an inferior imitation of something nature has developed herself, a long time before humans. Sea sponges have better light fibres than our finest opitcal fibre.
“The pain I feel is the pain of fleeting joy.”
Watching the art house vampire flick Nadja last night, from whence comes the quote. A very unusual vampire film by Michael Almereyda, shot in black and white and mixing the contrasting styles of 1920s/30s Expressionism with modern video techniques such as pixellation. Very modern but with classic touches, such as Nadja’s cloak (straight from 1936’s Dracula’s Daughter) or the scene where Lucy sees Nadja in her bathroom mirror despite the fact she’s not in the building, just as Susan Sarandon does in the style-over-substance (but enjoyable) The Hunger.
Nadja herself, like the film, is ethereal. Beautiful and distant she dominates the film despite often being as insubstantial as a summer daydream. And for some reason she reminds me of my friend Jane. The soundtrack is excellent and music by My Bloody Valentine and Portishead are used effectively. Peter Fonda’s bizarre van Helsing and Martin Donovan - a regular in Hal Hartley’s movies - are a bonus.
Followed this up with a very different art house vamp flick, Abel Ferrara’s The Addiction. Again shot in black and white, but a totally different style of film, an intellectual and cerebral approach to vampirism. Also very amusing to anyone who has ever studied in an undergraduate tutorial. Next on the vamp fest was Shadow of the Vampire, with John Malkovich as F.W. Murnau, recruiting a real vampire to shoot his unofficial adaptation of Dracula, Nosferatu. Another art house vampire movie but again very different in style and tone, but very unusual and enjoyable. I’m always pleased to see someone working a new angle on the old vampire genre; it’s not an easy thing to do. Now all I need is to add the newly released DVD of Near Dark by Kathryn Bigelow to my collection, a fascinating cross of vampire and Western genres (and a tad more successful than previous attempts to cross those genres such as Billy the Kid Versus Dracula - shudder). Naturally all watched by flickering candlelight late at night with a handy bottle of blood red wine. Now I feel the urge for some serious neck biting.
Watching the art house vampire flick Nadja last night, from whence comes the quote. A very unusual vampire film by Michael Almereyda, shot in black and white and mixing the contrasting styles of 1920s/30s Expressionism with modern video techniques such as pixellation. Very modern but with classic touches, such as Nadja’s cloak (straight from 1936’s Dracula’s Daughter) or the scene where Lucy sees Nadja in her bathroom mirror despite the fact she’s not in the building, just as Susan Sarandon does in the style-over-substance (but enjoyable) The Hunger.
Nadja herself, like the film, is ethereal. Beautiful and distant she dominates the film despite often being as insubstantial as a summer daydream. And for some reason she reminds me of my friend Jane. The soundtrack is excellent and music by My Bloody Valentine and Portishead are used effectively. Peter Fonda’s bizarre van Helsing and Martin Donovan - a regular in Hal Hartley’s movies - are a bonus.
Followed this up with a very different art house vamp flick, Abel Ferrara’s The Addiction. Again shot in black and white, but a totally different style of film, an intellectual and cerebral approach to vampirism. Also very amusing to anyone who has ever studied in an undergraduate tutorial. Next on the vamp fest was Shadow of the Vampire, with John Malkovich as F.W. Murnau, recruiting a real vampire to shoot his unofficial adaptation of Dracula, Nosferatu. Another art house vampire movie but again very different in style and tone, but very unusual and enjoyable. I’m always pleased to see someone working a new angle on the old vampire genre; it’s not an easy thing to do. Now all I need is to add the newly released DVD of Near Dark by Kathryn Bigelow to my collection, a fascinating cross of vampire and Western genres (and a tad more successful than previous attempts to cross those genres such as Billy the Kid Versus Dracula - shudder). Naturally all watched by flickering candlelight late at night with a handy bottle of blood red wine. Now I feel the urge for some serious neck biting.
Wednesday, August 20, 2003
Hot vamps
Saw a trailer for the forthcoming vamp flick Underworld with the lovely Kate Beckinsale. Very stylish and Gothic, Kate being a vampire warrior who is fighting in the war between vampires and lycanthropes. Looks pretty much like a cross between the Gothic stylings of The Crow and the action and leather of Blade (especially Blade II which was shot in Prague, just as Underworld has been). Still, Kate Beckinsale in pale vamp make-up, dark hair falling over her pale face, tight leather stretched across her curvy bits... Oh, yeah!
Saw a trailer for the forthcoming vamp flick Underworld with the lovely Kate Beckinsale. Very stylish and Gothic, Kate being a vampire warrior who is fighting in the war between vampires and lycanthropes. Looks pretty much like a cross between the Gothic stylings of The Crow and the action and leather of Blade (especially Blade II which was shot in Prague, just as Underworld has been). Still, Kate Beckinsale in pale vamp make-up, dark hair falling over her pale face, tight leather stretched across her curvy bits... Oh, yeah!
No thanks
Another job application, another disappointment. Yet another bastard employer who didn’t even give me an interview for a job I was eminently qualified to do. What makes it worse than all the other bastard employers who have done the same thing to me in the last couple of years is that this was my alma mater, Queen Margaret University College. I applied for a post they had in the college library. Not only do I have ten years of experience in the book trade I actually worked in the bloody library for a couple of years as a part-time assistant when I was a student there. I have relevant experience, more qualifications than I can fit on an application form (including my degree from QMUC) and an IQ of 148.
Despite this I didn’t even rate so much as an interview. I’m sure there were plenty of folk applying for this post and they have to filter out who deserves an interview. But when you are a graduate of that college, are qualified and experienced to do the job in question and have actually worked in the department and the fuckers still don’t even interview you, you have to ask yourself what the fuck you are supposed to do to try and get a motherfucking job. I’m used to getting this treatment from other employers - no wonder I am fucking paranoid and convinced they are all out to get me - but to be treated this way by my own college and a department I actually once worked for? Nice to see that Queen Margaret support their alumni and hold their own degrees in such esteem they don’t even bother to interview folk who hold them. Ingrates.
One day when I have total power all of these people will taste my Awesome Wrath. In the meantime I will just keep muttering darkly into my beer about conspiracies against me. Fuckers. I almost hope they send me a fundraising letter again so I can tell them to fuck off and die. Bitter? Me? Hell yeah...
Another job application, another disappointment. Yet another bastard employer who didn’t even give me an interview for a job I was eminently qualified to do. What makes it worse than all the other bastard employers who have done the same thing to me in the last couple of years is that this was my alma mater, Queen Margaret University College. I applied for a post they had in the college library. Not only do I have ten years of experience in the book trade I actually worked in the bloody library for a couple of years as a part-time assistant when I was a student there. I have relevant experience, more qualifications than I can fit on an application form (including my degree from QMUC) and an IQ of 148.
Despite this I didn’t even rate so much as an interview. I’m sure there were plenty of folk applying for this post and they have to filter out who deserves an interview. But when you are a graduate of that college, are qualified and experienced to do the job in question and have actually worked in the department and the fuckers still don’t even interview you, you have to ask yourself what the fuck you are supposed to do to try and get a motherfucking job. I’m used to getting this treatment from other employers - no wonder I am fucking paranoid and convinced they are all out to get me - but to be treated this way by my own college and a department I actually once worked for? Nice to see that Queen Margaret support their alumni and hold their own degrees in such esteem they don’t even bother to interview folk who hold them. Ingrates.
One day when I have total power all of these people will taste my Awesome Wrath. In the meantime I will just keep muttering darkly into my beer about conspiracies against me. Fuckers. I almost hope they send me a fundraising letter again so I can tell them to fuck off and die. Bitter? Me? Hell yeah...
Gonna need a bigger boat
A family sailing their yacht off Australia on a whale watching trip got a much closer look than they thought they would when a humpback whale cleared the water on a leap and landed on the boat. Needless to say the aforementioned aquatic mammal caused a fair bit of damage.
Still, my sympathies are with the whale. The people were, after all, intruding on the whale’s domain uninvited. I’m not sure if the whale deliberately damaged the ship, but wouldn’t be surprised - I feel the same way about tourists here in Edinburgh sometimes.
And there is precedent - the whaling ship Essex was one of the most famous wrecks of the 19th century. Thousands of miles out in the Pacific Ocean she was rammed not once but twice by an enraged whale, understandably annoyed at its crew harpooning its fellows. The survivors were shocked as this was not typical whale behaviour, head butting a sailing vessel until it sinks. The resulting tale of the struggle for survival over months in open row boats, complete with sun-stroke, urine drinking and cannibalism was a cause celebre when the few survivors got home to Nantucket, inspiring a certain Herman Melville to write Moby Dick. It was retold in fascinating and gripping terms a couple of years ago in the book In the Heart of the Ocean, an absorbing read. In the meantime the wee fuckers in Iceland have wasted no time in slaughtering a whale. Here's hoping their island is swallowed by a gigantic volcanic explosion in the near future.
A family sailing their yacht off Australia on a whale watching trip got a much closer look than they thought they would when a humpback whale cleared the water on a leap and landed on the boat. Needless to say the aforementioned aquatic mammal caused a fair bit of damage.
Still, my sympathies are with the whale. The people were, after all, intruding on the whale’s domain uninvited. I’m not sure if the whale deliberately damaged the ship, but wouldn’t be surprised - I feel the same way about tourists here in Edinburgh sometimes.
And there is precedent - the whaling ship Essex was one of the most famous wrecks of the 19th century. Thousands of miles out in the Pacific Ocean she was rammed not once but twice by an enraged whale, understandably annoyed at its crew harpooning its fellows. The survivors were shocked as this was not typical whale behaviour, head butting a sailing vessel until it sinks. The resulting tale of the struggle for survival over months in open row boats, complete with sun-stroke, urine drinking and cannibalism was a cause celebre when the few survivors got home to Nantucket, inspiring a certain Herman Melville to write Moby Dick. It was retold in fascinating and gripping terms a couple of years ago in the book In the Heart of the Ocean, an absorbing read. In the meantime the wee fuckers in Iceland have wasted no time in slaughtering a whale. Here's hoping their island is swallowed by a gigantic volcanic explosion in the near future.
Thursday, August 14, 2003
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
A timely reminder as Pirates of the Caribbean entertains us with high seas high jinks that the real world still has nasty nautical knaves, as this Herald Tribune story of piracy on the high seas reveals.
A timely reminder as Pirates of the Caribbean entertains us with high seas high jinks that the real world still has nasty nautical knaves, as this Herald Tribune story of piracy on the high seas reveals.
They're watching you!
They really are watching you. Sleep easy American citizens, you're government is checking up on you in the land of the free, undoubtably for your own good of course, as this blog by the Orange County Hillbilly (how can you resist a title like that?) detailing a visit from the Department of Justice after a Google search on his name reveals. Remember a paranoid is just someone in possession of the facts.
They really are watching you. Sleep easy American citizens, you're government is checking up on you in the land of the free, undoubtably for your own good of course, as this blog by the Orange County Hillbilly (how can you resist a title like that?) detailing a visit from the Department of Justice after a Google search on his name reveals. Remember a paranoid is just someone in possession of the facts.
Trees
How perfect are trees? Spending a couple of highly pleasurable hours this afternoon doing nothing more than sitting under the shady green boughs of a gorgeous oak tree, protected from the sun beating down on the Meadows, reading a good book while the world went past slowly. Very little noise apart from the glorious sound the summer breeze makes as it passes through the emerald leaves. A youngish tree on one side of me, probably no more than 70 or 80 years old, the other side a huge, gnarled oak. More trees stretching off down the line of each walkway bisecting the grass of the vast park, one of the nicest spots in Edinburgh. Looking right up vibrant green fills my vision, contrasting beautifully with clear blue skies.
How perfect are trees? Perfect to sit under and think, read, drink, rest, doze, snog. They give us shelter from sun and storm, their roots hold the soil together and keep it rich and vital. We can make fuel from them to heat us, we can decorate them, we can make homes from them. Roots deep in the earth and boughs reaching towards the skies, connecting land and heaven through a vibrant, ever-changing living entity. Most days we all walk past treees without thinking. Sometimes we should all just stop our hectic commuting and rushing and just gaze on the simple beauty of a tree and give it to the silent invitaation it gives out to beggar and king to rest safely beneath it's covering limbs.
Factor in a young girl who was sitting near Middle Meadow Walk who opens her instrument case and brought out a cello. Cellos are one of my favourite instruments - not as screechy as a violin can sometimes be, not as deep as a double bass. It can be light or mournful. And what did this girl play? Cello pieces by Bach, pretty much my favourite string compositions - anyone who has never listened to Yoyo Ma playing these has never truly lived, it is poetry without words. Shady tree, book, half dozing in the peaceful summer afternoon and Bach wafting gently on the breeze, the notes playing in between the leaves in the canopy. Amazing how sometimes the simplest pleasures are the finest.
How perfect are trees? Spending a couple of highly pleasurable hours this afternoon doing nothing more than sitting under the shady green boughs of a gorgeous oak tree, protected from the sun beating down on the Meadows, reading a good book while the world went past slowly. Very little noise apart from the glorious sound the summer breeze makes as it passes through the emerald leaves. A youngish tree on one side of me, probably no more than 70 or 80 years old, the other side a huge, gnarled oak. More trees stretching off down the line of each walkway bisecting the grass of the vast park, one of the nicest spots in Edinburgh. Looking right up vibrant green fills my vision, contrasting beautifully with clear blue skies.
How perfect are trees? Perfect to sit under and think, read, drink, rest, doze, snog. They give us shelter from sun and storm, their roots hold the soil together and keep it rich and vital. We can make fuel from them to heat us, we can decorate them, we can make homes from them. Roots deep in the earth and boughs reaching towards the skies, connecting land and heaven through a vibrant, ever-changing living entity. Most days we all walk past treees without thinking. Sometimes we should all just stop our hectic commuting and rushing and just gaze on the simple beauty of a tree and give it to the silent invitaation it gives out to beggar and king to rest safely beneath it's covering limbs.
Factor in a young girl who was sitting near Middle Meadow Walk who opens her instrument case and brought out a cello. Cellos are one of my favourite instruments - not as screechy as a violin can sometimes be, not as deep as a double bass. It can be light or mournful. And what did this girl play? Cello pieces by Bach, pretty much my favourite string compositions - anyone who has never listened to Yoyo Ma playing these has never truly lived, it is poetry without words. Shady tree, book, half dozing in the peaceful summer afternoon and Bach wafting gently on the breeze, the notes playing in between the leaves in the canopy. Amazing how sometimes the simplest pleasures are the finest.
P r e d a t o r s
There is a monster stalking our world. It moves amongst us and kills indiscriminately, for food and for pleasure. The most dangerous, vicious, brutal and terrifyngly efficient predator in 5 billion years of Earthly evolution. Tigers are pussycats next to it. Great White Sharks are goldfish and T-Rex was just a big lizard bird. None of them come anywhere near to humans. Some parts of our predatory evolution from thousands and indeed, millions of years ago, seem to keep resurfacing in all too many of our species. Iceland, Norway and Japan we mean you, you bloodthirsty little fuckers.
There is a monster stalking our world. It moves amongst us and kills indiscriminately, for food and for pleasure. The most dangerous, vicious, brutal and terrifyngly efficient predator in 5 billion years of Earthly evolution. Tigers are pussycats next to it. Great White Sharks are goldfish and T-Rex was just a big lizard bird. None of them come anywhere near to humans. Some parts of our predatory evolution from thousands and indeed, millions of years ago, seem to keep resurfacing in all too many of our species. Iceland, Norway and Japan we mean you, you bloodthirsty little fuckers.
Wednesday, August 13, 2003
My kinda festival
Yup, it’s all true, check out the latest component to the Festival City that is Edinburgh in August, the Festival Erotique. Exotic dancing, sex shows and hardcore. Obviously a number of church folk and feminist groups are kicking up already. The churches I understand because they are terribly repressed after all and don’t like to see other having fun. But why do feminist groups assume that sexually explicit material degrades and offends women? Who said they talk for all women? I know women who love porno, especially some lesbian chums of mine. And if this all contributes to the downfall of society then why does the Netherlands, with hardcore porn, legalised prostitution, topless beaches and drug bars have the lowest sex crime and teen pregnancy rate in Western Europe. Loosen up! If you don’t like it don’t go, but don’t assume to tell me or anyone else what is good for us, we’re all adults. Okay some of us are perverted adults, but that’s beside the point. It’s being held in the Edinburgh Corn Exchange. I guess they could rename it the Porn Exchange for a few days…
Yup, it’s all true, check out the latest component to the Festival City that is Edinburgh in August, the Festival Erotique. Exotic dancing, sex shows and hardcore. Obviously a number of church folk and feminist groups are kicking up already. The churches I understand because they are terribly repressed after all and don’t like to see other having fun. But why do feminist groups assume that sexually explicit material degrades and offends women? Who said they talk for all women? I know women who love porno, especially some lesbian chums of mine. And if this all contributes to the downfall of society then why does the Netherlands, with hardcore porn, legalised prostitution, topless beaches and drug bars have the lowest sex crime and teen pregnancy rate in Western Europe. Loosen up! If you don’t like it don’t go, but don’t assume to tell me or anyone else what is good for us, we’re all adults. Okay some of us are perverted adults, but that’s beside the point. It’s being held in the Edinburgh Corn Exchange. I guess they could rename it the Porn Exchange for a few days…
The worm that turned
Me off, that is. Kept getting a “Windows will auto shutdown due to fault in 60 seconds” every time I logged on the other night. Mike Cobley was telling me there was a new worm tearing up the web. Then tonight on the news I hear that this worm was causing exactly this problem, so now I have to download the bloody patch. Don’t you hate these wee bastards who have nothing better to do than fuck up other folks? If only they had some friends or a social life, or even just did something constructive like look for porno on the web instead of writing little hack codes to piss off millions of folk around the world. My only comfort is that the person who wrote it is probably a solitary little compulsive masturbator with nae mates. Information and links to relevant patches are here.
Me off, that is. Kept getting a “Windows will auto shutdown due to fault in 60 seconds” every time I logged on the other night. Mike Cobley was telling me there was a new worm tearing up the web. Then tonight on the news I hear that this worm was causing exactly this problem, so now I have to download the bloody patch. Don’t you hate these wee bastards who have nothing better to do than fuck up other folks? If only they had some friends or a social life, or even just did something constructive like look for porno on the web instead of writing little hack codes to piss off millions of folk around the world. My only comfort is that the person who wrote it is probably a solitary little compulsive masturbator with nae mates. Information and links to relevant patches are here.
Tuesday, August 12, 2003
Shower time
Don't forget tomorrow - Wednesday - is the date for the Perseid meteor showers, a spectacular free show across the summer night sky - if you're lucky enough to get clear skies. Not that I get to see much of it from Edinburgh due to light pollution of course.
Don't forget tomorrow - Wednesday - is the date for the Perseid meteor showers, a spectacular free show across the summer night sky - if you're lucky enough to get clear skies. Not that I get to see much of it from Edinburgh due to light pollution of course.
HOT SEX IN PUBLIC!!!
That got your attention, didn't it? You filthy lot have a mind like a rural Welsh railway - one track and dirty. A man appeared at the Edinburgh Sheriff court over a charge of having sex with a traffic cone. Can't he just nick one on his drunken way homeand dump it on top of someone's garden gnomes like the rest of us decent citizens? And you guys think I make up some weird shit?
That got your attention, didn't it? You filthy lot have a mind like a rural Welsh railway - one track and dirty. A man appeared at the Edinburgh Sheriff court over a charge of having sex with a traffic cone. Can't he just nick one on his drunken way homeand dump it on top of someone's garden gnomes like the rest of us decent citizens? And you guys think I make up some weird shit?
Say ‘cheese’
An interesting story today - the Fire Brigade in Fife are trying out a new system at accident. They’re taking photos with picture messaging cell phones of incidents like car crashes and sending them directly to the local Accident and Emergency or A&E - E.R. to our US cousins - which is prepped to receive the casualties. The idea is that the A&E team will have a better idea of what injuries to prepare for before even the paramedics arrive. They can also offer advice to emergency teams on site.
It is nice to see information technology being used in a positive way. When I was a young, full-haired lad at college in the early 90s George McMurdo, one of our IT lecturers, used to get quite excited discussing potential uses of IT for the future, especially virtual systems and the internet (not the web at that stage). One of the potential uses was to equip paramedics with a video system which transmitted details back to the A&E of a crash site. The idea was that an expert doctor could then have a virtual presence, advising the paramedic without leaving the hospital as well as being better prepared for the incoming casualties. Similar virtual presence systems have been tried for remote rural communities too. See, it’s not all about sending dirty text messages when you’re drunk or browsing the web for naughty pictures of celebrities. Although those things are all fun too.
An interesting story today - the Fire Brigade in Fife are trying out a new system at accident. They’re taking photos with picture messaging cell phones of incidents like car crashes and sending them directly to the local Accident and Emergency or A&E - E.R. to our US cousins - which is prepped to receive the casualties. The idea is that the A&E team will have a better idea of what injuries to prepare for before even the paramedics arrive. They can also offer advice to emergency teams on site.
It is nice to see information technology being used in a positive way. When I was a young, full-haired lad at college in the early 90s George McMurdo, one of our IT lecturers, used to get quite excited discussing potential uses of IT for the future, especially virtual systems and the internet (not the web at that stage). One of the potential uses was to equip paramedics with a video system which transmitted details back to the A&E of a crash site. The idea was that an expert doctor could then have a virtual presence, advising the paramedic without leaving the hospital as well as being better prepared for the incoming casualties. Similar virtual presence systems have been tried for remote rural communities too. See, it’s not all about sending dirty text messages when you’re drunk or browsing the web for naughty pictures of celebrities. Although those things are all fun too.
Monday, August 11, 2003
The Alternative Fringe & Festivals
For years the Scotsman and Guardian have listed the supposed best shows on the Edinburgh Fringe. However, we here at the Gazette think they miss out too many of the shows on offer and have decided to list a few of the more outré performances on offer this August.
Dam, dam, dam! The Brunswick Beavers Co-operative gives a rare insight into the high drama that goes on in a beaver community building a dam in the North American wilderness. Life, love, jealousy and a race against the elements as winter draws close. Short on human interest but big on aquatic mammal interest.
Waaauukk! The Antarctic Amateur Dramatic Society presents an innovative new re-interpretation of the sketches of the Monty Python team, performed entirely by penguins, except for Sam the Seal who will play the parts of Terry Jones. The Ministry of Silly Walks is fantastic. Subtitles are available for those who don’t speak penguin.
Half-baked. Told entirely without dialogue, this one-person play follows the sad tale of a scone which wasn’t baked correctly and was rejected by the baker as imperfect. Alone and unwanted the scone wanders the cold streets of the city searching for someone to accept him (preferably some nice butter). A scorching examination of the rejection and concealment of disability and otherness in a modern society obsessed with perfection in its bakery products.
Other highlights from the many festivals on offer include Norman Mailer juggling 17 hardback novels in the children’s tent at the Book Festival; the Book Festival explaining why SF does not exist as a genre and why all ‘good’ books couldn’t possibly belong to this genre, which, of course, does not exist; Dame Muriel Spark and Alasdair Gray, the greatest living Scottish writers, will give a display of advance arm-wrestling.
In the visual arts the great Scottish-Italian sculptor Eduardo Paolozzi will create a sculpture in front of an audience at the Dean Gallery using only the discarded chewing gum thrown away by Italian tourists and recovered by street sweepers. The newly refurbished Royal Scottish Academy will exhibit a collection of paintings by the Impressionist Monet. The exhibition covers a neglected period in Monet’s life, when he was retained by the French Horological Society to paint their finest clocks and pocket watches. The exhibition is entitled Time is Monet.
For years the Scotsman and Guardian have listed the supposed best shows on the Edinburgh Fringe. However, we here at the Gazette think they miss out too many of the shows on offer and have decided to list a few of the more outré performances on offer this August.
Dam, dam, dam! The Brunswick Beavers Co-operative gives a rare insight into the high drama that goes on in a beaver community building a dam in the North American wilderness. Life, love, jealousy and a race against the elements as winter draws close. Short on human interest but big on aquatic mammal interest.
Waaauukk! The Antarctic Amateur Dramatic Society presents an innovative new re-interpretation of the sketches of the Monty Python team, performed entirely by penguins, except for Sam the Seal who will play the parts of Terry Jones. The Ministry of Silly Walks is fantastic. Subtitles are available for those who don’t speak penguin.
Half-baked. Told entirely without dialogue, this one-person play follows the sad tale of a scone which wasn’t baked correctly and was rejected by the baker as imperfect. Alone and unwanted the scone wanders the cold streets of the city searching for someone to accept him (preferably some nice butter). A scorching examination of the rejection and concealment of disability and otherness in a modern society obsessed with perfection in its bakery products.
Other highlights from the many festivals on offer include Norman Mailer juggling 17 hardback novels in the children’s tent at the Book Festival; the Book Festival explaining why SF does not exist as a genre and why all ‘good’ books couldn’t possibly belong to this genre, which, of course, does not exist; Dame Muriel Spark and Alasdair Gray, the greatest living Scottish writers, will give a display of advance arm-wrestling.
In the visual arts the great Scottish-Italian sculptor Eduardo Paolozzi will create a sculpture in front of an audience at the Dean Gallery using only the discarded chewing gum thrown away by Italian tourists and recovered by street sweepers. The newly refurbished Royal Scottish Academy will exhibit a collection of paintings by the Impressionist Monet. The exhibition covers a neglected period in Monet’s life, when he was retained by the French Horological Society to paint their finest clocks and pocket watches. The exhibition is entitled Time is Monet.
How refreshing
For some weeks now the digital channel BBC 4 has been running Battle of the Books, squaring up two contenders at a time from the list of 100 books in the BBC Big Read. Tonight it was The Hitch-Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy versus Terry Pratchett, who has four novels in the list, which ties him with Jacqueline Wilson for the most titles nominated by a living novelist.
Although some folk did do the usual excuse thing of saying “I don’t like SF, but this isn’t really SF because: it’s good; it talks about contemporary issues and culture; it is actually for grown ups (delete as applicable).” Non SF folk just have so much difficulty in admitting they enjoyed a piece of SF or Fantasy or the fact that perhaps other writers in the genre may indeed also be good, deal with contemporary issues and write for grown ups.
However one of the champions of the Pratchett camp was the newly appointed director of the Bath literary festival. Compare this to this year’s Edinburgh International Book Festival - the world’s largest - which has not a single SF author for adults in this summer’s programme (for which they received a strong letter from me and from fantasy author Mike Cobley). One literary festival director championing fantasy - comic fantasy at that - while another shuns the entire SF&F genre and the indigenous Scottish genre writers too. I wonder if we can get them to swap?
Saturday, August 9, 2003
Brae with a view
Had to head out to my mortgage lender after work on Friday. As the branch which clears those for the Bank of Scotland is miles from work and home out in bloody Liberton it was something of a hike. Despite living in Edinburgh since 1991 that southern suburban area is pretty much terra incognita to me. So I caught a bus out there to what I thought was about the right spot and got off. Then find out I’m off way too early and had to walk about half a mile right up Liberton Brae (a brae, for non Scots, is like a hill) in blazing sunshine. I arrived a trifle sweaty, but nevertheless the mortgage advisor was very helpful and upbeat - hopefully they will get thing sorted out and my mortgage deal will be better than before, helping me sort out my piss-poor finances.
Walking back towards town around 5pm the sun was still beating down, the heat coming up through the soles of my boots from the burning sidewalk. However it was all made worth it by the fantastic view I had from the top deck of the bus I caught. As Liberton Brae is a few miles from the city centre and up on a hill with only two story houses instead of the city’s four or more story tenements the view was panoramic and clear. I could see the Castle in the distance and the mighty bulk of Arthur’s Seat. This fantastic extinct volcano sits right in town, next to the palace of Holyrood House (Mary Queen of Scots old home) and where the parliament will be when finished.It's not every city that has something like that a few minutes from the centre.
The clear sky and sun over Liberton were counterbalanced by the vision of a seas mist rolling back in to town (as it had in the morning). The hot air hitting the cooler waters of the North Sea and rolling up the wide estuary of the Forth in the form of a haar. Above the city ahead of me the sky was still blue but the mist rolled in at lower level, wrapping the great rock in swathes of cotton wool. The contrast was fantastic, all spread out below me. As I got back into town I could actually see sheets of the mist drifting past, like small clouds, still glowing from the sunlight hidden above, moving past me and around the Monument.
Unbelievably gorgeous and it reminded me of the reprinted travel book I just finished, the Silent Traveller in Edinburgh. Apparently this Chinese exile was a best-selling travel writer in the 40s and 50s. The book was utterly delightful, illustrated throughout with his drawings all done in the oriental style. Odd but fascinating to see (to me) everyday scenes in this different style. Yee was a painter and poet as well as a lecturer on art and this shows in his writing - he sees the world very differently. He reminded me very much of Robert Louis Stevenson. RLS too demonstrated the difference between the way a travel writer describes something and the way a travel writer who is a poet and artist describes something. Chinese poetry and Confucianisms added to this lovely little gem of a book.
He described the mist rolling into this beautiful city and how magnificent it made it look (well, what you can see of it in the mist!). So much of the book was familiar - Americans walking down the Royal Mile and trying to research their Scottish roots (although mostly in uniform as it was 1943) - while some things he describes are gone, such as the tramcars. Must get a review written up soon and email it off to History Scotland for publication.
Had to head out to my mortgage lender after work on Friday. As the branch which clears those for the Bank of Scotland is miles from work and home out in bloody Liberton it was something of a hike. Despite living in Edinburgh since 1991 that southern suburban area is pretty much terra incognita to me. So I caught a bus out there to what I thought was about the right spot and got off. Then find out I’m off way too early and had to walk about half a mile right up Liberton Brae (a brae, for non Scots, is like a hill) in blazing sunshine. I arrived a trifle sweaty, but nevertheless the mortgage advisor was very helpful and upbeat - hopefully they will get thing sorted out and my mortgage deal will be better than before, helping me sort out my piss-poor finances.
Walking back towards town around 5pm the sun was still beating down, the heat coming up through the soles of my boots from the burning sidewalk. However it was all made worth it by the fantastic view I had from the top deck of the bus I caught. As Liberton Brae is a few miles from the city centre and up on a hill with only two story houses instead of the city’s four or more story tenements the view was panoramic and clear. I could see the Castle in the distance and the mighty bulk of Arthur’s Seat. This fantastic extinct volcano sits right in town, next to the palace of Holyrood House (Mary Queen of Scots old home) and where the parliament will be when finished.It's not every city that has something like that a few minutes from the centre.
The clear sky and sun over Liberton were counterbalanced by the vision of a seas mist rolling back in to town (as it had in the morning). The hot air hitting the cooler waters of the North Sea and rolling up the wide estuary of the Forth in the form of a haar. Above the city ahead of me the sky was still blue but the mist rolled in at lower level, wrapping the great rock in swathes of cotton wool. The contrast was fantastic, all spread out below me. As I got back into town I could actually see sheets of the mist drifting past, like small clouds, still glowing from the sunlight hidden above, moving past me and around the Monument.
Unbelievably gorgeous and it reminded me of the reprinted travel book I just finished, the Silent Traveller in Edinburgh. Apparently this Chinese exile was a best-selling travel writer in the 40s and 50s. The book was utterly delightful, illustrated throughout with his drawings all done in the oriental style. Odd but fascinating to see (to me) everyday scenes in this different style. Yee was a painter and poet as well as a lecturer on art and this shows in his writing - he sees the world very differently. He reminded me very much of Robert Louis Stevenson. RLS too demonstrated the difference between the way a travel writer describes something and the way a travel writer who is a poet and artist describes something. Chinese poetry and Confucianisms added to this lovely little gem of a book.
He described the mist rolling into this beautiful city and how magnificent it made it look (well, what you can see of it in the mist!). So much of the book was familiar - Americans walking down the Royal Mile and trying to research their Scottish roots (although mostly in uniform as it was 1943) - while some things he describes are gone, such as the tramcars. Must get a review written up soon and email it off to History Scotland for publication.
Freebie Fringe
Comedian and travel writer Tony Hawks (no, not the skateboarder) came in to sign some books for us while he was in town. Usually his adventures come around by way of drunken bets, the most famous being that he couldn’t hitch his way around the circumference of Eire with a fridge. He hadn’t arrived by the time I was about to head off home (via Rose St to go bikini spotting again, my new fave hobby). Luckily I bumped into Matthew and stopped to chat to him and Tony arrived a few minutes later, so I hung back to take him over to sign the stock and meet David, our travel buyer who is a big fan.
I teased him that we were disappointed he didn’t have his fridge with him, full of cold drinks for hot, thirsty booksellers (still no aircon on our floor). He laughed and said he didn’t, but he did have some free tickets for tonight’s show if we could make it. Naturally we were only too happy to grab a Fringe freebie. I managed to get hold of my mate Gordon and meet Alex, David and Olly at the gig, where we also bumped into our newest colleague, the incredibly petite Diane, who even Alex towers over.
The gig was fun and Tony regaled us with his own unusual brand of music, including some of those he wrote to try and have a second top ten hit (for his drunken bet in the book One Hit Wonderland). Not often you see a man dressed as a pixie playing a guitar, even at the Edinburgh Fringe. Afterwards we scampered off to nearby Teuchters for some very cold Czech beer. The French windows at the back room were wide open to the mews behind the block of Georgian buildings letting in a very welcome cool breeze, along with the sound of Saint Mary’s bells peeling away. My first Edinburgh flat was in Grosvenor Street, a few blocks away and the bells from this unusual three-spire church used to rouse me unwillingly from my hangover on Sundays. It was a fun night and Alex even managed to get as far as two and a half pints (although he suffered next day, but tried to insist it was not booze related). Gordon and I were there until closing of course.
Comedian and travel writer Tony Hawks (no, not the skateboarder) came in to sign some books for us while he was in town. Usually his adventures come around by way of drunken bets, the most famous being that he couldn’t hitch his way around the circumference of Eire with a fridge. He hadn’t arrived by the time I was about to head off home (via Rose St to go bikini spotting again, my new fave hobby). Luckily I bumped into Matthew and stopped to chat to him and Tony arrived a few minutes later, so I hung back to take him over to sign the stock and meet David, our travel buyer who is a big fan.
I teased him that we were disappointed he didn’t have his fridge with him, full of cold drinks for hot, thirsty booksellers (still no aircon on our floor). He laughed and said he didn’t, but he did have some free tickets for tonight’s show if we could make it. Naturally we were only too happy to grab a Fringe freebie. I managed to get hold of my mate Gordon and meet Alex, David and Olly at the gig, where we also bumped into our newest colleague, the incredibly petite Diane, who even Alex towers over.
The gig was fun and Tony regaled us with his own unusual brand of music, including some of those he wrote to try and have a second top ten hit (for his drunken bet in the book One Hit Wonderland). Not often you see a man dressed as a pixie playing a guitar, even at the Edinburgh Fringe. Afterwards we scampered off to nearby Teuchters for some very cold Czech beer. The French windows at the back room were wide open to the mews behind the block of Georgian buildings letting in a very welcome cool breeze, along with the sound of Saint Mary’s bells peeling away. My first Edinburgh flat was in Grosvenor Street, a few blocks away and the bells from this unusual three-spire church used to rouse me unwillingly from my hangover on Sundays. It was a fun night and Alex even managed to get as far as two and a half pints (although he suffered next day, but tried to insist it was not booze related). Gordon and I were there until closing of course.
Strut your funky stuff
Leaving work at 4.30 a couple of days ago I couldn’t handle the intense sunshine. 30 degrees C and bright sun just don’t agree with my Celtic skin and at that time of day the sun is directly in my face on the way home along the length of Princes Street. So I nipped up behind Jenners and walked along Rose Street Lane where I could keep on the shady side of the street. Being pedestrians and full of pubs and restaurants there were tons of folk sitting on pavement tables drinking away.
Then what do I see walking towards me? A girl in a bikini. An extremely stunning girl in a bikini, a perfect body. Like model perfect. Taut tummy and a fulsome chest, which, judging by the jiggle factor (and I know my breast jiggles, being a lifelong pervert) were also perfectly natural. As I finally dragged my eyes up as far as her face I realised she was also perfectly made-up and her hair looked like she had just walked out of the salon. This made me wonder, as I stopped to pick up my jaw from the pavement, was this some advertising stunt? Something for the Fringe perhaps? But she had no fliers and certainly nowhere to keep them anyway. A girl in a bikini would be unusual even lounging in sun-kissed Princes Street Gardens, but walking down a street in the middle of the city?
Actually sashaying would be more accurate as her hips moved up and down as if piston driven, her bum moving like one of those old Citroens with the gas suspension while her bikini top appeared to have two Volkswagen Beetles trying to parallel park inside. Well, whether she was advertising something, on a dare or simply her way of dealing with the heat it certainly brightened my day. I’ve been walking down Rose Street Lane more often now.
Leaving work at 4.30 a couple of days ago I couldn’t handle the intense sunshine. 30 degrees C and bright sun just don’t agree with my Celtic skin and at that time of day the sun is directly in my face on the way home along the length of Princes Street. So I nipped up behind Jenners and walked along Rose Street Lane where I could keep on the shady side of the street. Being pedestrians and full of pubs and restaurants there were tons of folk sitting on pavement tables drinking away.
Then what do I see walking towards me? A girl in a bikini. An extremely stunning girl in a bikini, a perfect body. Like model perfect. Taut tummy and a fulsome chest, which, judging by the jiggle factor (and I know my breast jiggles, being a lifelong pervert) were also perfectly natural. As I finally dragged my eyes up as far as her face I realised she was also perfectly made-up and her hair looked like she had just walked out of the salon. This made me wonder, as I stopped to pick up my jaw from the pavement, was this some advertising stunt? Something for the Fringe perhaps? But she had no fliers and certainly nowhere to keep them anyway. A girl in a bikini would be unusual even lounging in sun-kissed Princes Street Gardens, but walking down a street in the middle of the city?
Actually sashaying would be more accurate as her hips moved up and down as if piston driven, her bum moving like one of those old Citroens with the gas suspension while her bikini top appeared to have two Volkswagen Beetles trying to parallel park inside. Well, whether she was advertising something, on a dare or simply her way of dealing with the heat it certainly brightened my day. I’ve been walking down Rose Street Lane more often now.
Tuesday, August 5, 2003
Transmet
I had a nice surprise when I had a quick reply from one of my favourite writers the other day. Warren Ellis, who writes one of my favourite series, Transmetropolitan among many other titles is coming over for the Edinburgh Film Festival and has nicely agreed to swing past our bookstore and sign some books for us. I think I'm actually off on holiday that week, but I'll be going in for that, oh yes! And naturally I'll need to ask him if he can sign my latest volume for my colletion too.
I had a nice surprise when I had a quick reply from one of my favourite writers the other day. Warren Ellis, who writes one of my favourite series, Transmetropolitan among many other titles is coming over for the Edinburgh Film Festival and has nicely agreed to swing past our bookstore and sign some books for us. I think I'm actually off on holiday that week, but I'll be going in for that, oh yes! And naturally I'll need to ask him if he can sign my latest volume for my colletion too.
Local Lad Done Good
Charlie Stross, one of our local gang of the Lothian SF Mafiosi (along with Ken MacLeod and Iain Banks) came in to sign the first of his full length novels. Not printed in the UK yet so we had to import The Singularity Sky from the US. I was lucky enough to get to read an earlier draft of the book while it was still titled Festival of Fools earlier this year and can say it is a highly enjoyable novel. Thoughtful SF for grown ups, mixing technological evolution and politics. Apparently Forbidden Planet in London had some but sold out already, which considering there isn't any marketing in this country (as it hasn't been released) is pretty damned good. Charlie has a slew of new material due for publication in the next year or so, so you're going to be hearing more of him.
Now all I need to do is lock Alex into a room until he writes a review of it for the Alien.
Charlie Stross, one of our local gang of the Lothian SF Mafiosi (along with Ken MacLeod and Iain Banks) came in to sign the first of his full length novels. Not printed in the UK yet so we had to import The Singularity Sky from the US. I was lucky enough to get to read an earlier draft of the book while it was still titled Festival of Fools earlier this year and can say it is a highly enjoyable novel. Thoughtful SF for grown ups, mixing technological evolution and politics. Apparently Forbidden Planet in London had some but sold out already, which considering there isn't any marketing in this country (as it hasn't been released) is pretty damned good. Charlie has a slew of new material due for publication in the next year or so, so you're going to be hearing more of him.
Now all I need to do is lock Alex into a room until he writes a review of it for the Alien.
Sunday, August 3, 2003
The geek shall inherit the Earth
My mate Gordon sent me this link to test your Geek Level. Despite being a glasses-wearing, comic-collecting, SF watching and reading software engineer he got between 21 and 25%. I had a go and got a mere 23%. Perhaps I'm not as geeky as I thought or the results are badly tabulated (oh, that is a geek thing to even think about). If it's the former maybe I can get a date? The question is what certain other folk I know are likely to score. And what they put down on the lightsaber questions. No names, no pack drill. Well, maybe some names later... heheh.
My mate Gordon sent me this link to test your Geek Level. Despite being a glasses-wearing, comic-collecting, SF watching and reading software engineer he got between 21 and 25%. I had a go and got a mere 23%. Perhaps I'm not as geeky as I thought or the results are badly tabulated (oh, that is a geek thing to even think about). If it's the former maybe I can get a date? The question is what certain other folk I know are likely to score. And what they put down on the lightsaber questions. No names, no pack drill. Well, maybe some names later... heheh.
Holidays
Geoff Hoon, the defence secretary is not going to be attending the funeral of MoD consultant on WMD, Doctor Kelly. Is it because he will soon be called in front of a judicial enquiry into the disgraceful and suspicious circumstances surrounding Dr Kelly's apparent suicide - in which he and other government ministers are deeply involved? Nope, it's because he's going on his holidays. And why not? After all didn't the defence secretary bugger off on a skiing holiday after sending thousands of British troops to the Gulf to fight the tawdry little war for Bush? At least he is consistent. Nice to see how seriously our elected representatives take their duties.
Geoff Hoon, the defence secretary is not going to be attending the funeral of MoD consultant on WMD, Doctor Kelly. Is it because he will soon be called in front of a judicial enquiry into the disgraceful and suspicious circumstances surrounding Dr Kelly's apparent suicide - in which he and other government ministers are deeply involved? Nope, it's because he's going on his holidays. And why not? After all didn't the defence secretary bugger off on a skiing holiday after sending thousands of British troops to the Gulf to fight the tawdry little war for Bush? At least he is consistent. Nice to see how seriously our elected representatives take their duties.
Saturday, August 2, 2003
Way too early
My noisy neighbour must die!!!!! The third or fourth weekend on the trot that this inconsiderate bastard has woken me up with pounding rave music so loud it sounds like it is in the same room. Last week he started at 5am and was still going when I left for work at 7.30am. Tonight he began at 4am and was still going with his drunken Ned mates, screaming and climbing in and out of the windows of his flat at 6am.
I hate to be the kind of guy who complains about music but this if fecking ridiculous, so I finally gave in and called the police at 4.20. It’s now just after 6am and they still haven’t been. I called again but they are all busy. Fair enough, it is a weekend and they will be pretty busy, but by the time they come the fuckers will have stopped. Finally all the E has drained from their little schemie systems and off they go to bed, just a short while before I have to get up for fucking work. Again. It was dark when I called them and now it is broad bloody daylight, so no more sleep before work for me again.
I am now fantasising sleepily about throwing a hand grenade into the wee ned fuckers flat through the same open window his drunken mates were jumping in and out of. To add insult to injury after 5.30am they stopped the rave shit and replaced it with power ballads, which they all sang along to of course. No-one should have to hear Chris de Burgh at any time, but belted out by drunken neds at 5.30am? Jennifer fucking Rush? Not only are they noisy, drunken, Ed up wee fuckers they have no god dam taste. They must die slowly with sharp things in their heads.
Its now after 6.20 and the wee bastard has indeed stopped. His drunken mates have gone singing down the street , droppingbottles as they go. Still no cops. Nice to know my taxes are well spent.
My noisy neighbour must die!!!!! The third or fourth weekend on the trot that this inconsiderate bastard has woken me up with pounding rave music so loud it sounds like it is in the same room. Last week he started at 5am and was still going when I left for work at 7.30am. Tonight he began at 4am and was still going with his drunken Ned mates, screaming and climbing in and out of the windows of his flat at 6am.
I hate to be the kind of guy who complains about music but this if fecking ridiculous, so I finally gave in and called the police at 4.20. It’s now just after 6am and they still haven’t been. I called again but they are all busy. Fair enough, it is a weekend and they will be pretty busy, but by the time they come the fuckers will have stopped. Finally all the E has drained from their little schemie systems and off they go to bed, just a short while before I have to get up for fucking work. Again. It was dark when I called them and now it is broad bloody daylight, so no more sleep before work for me again.
I am now fantasising sleepily about throwing a hand grenade into the wee ned fuckers flat through the same open window his drunken mates were jumping in and out of. To add insult to injury after 5.30am they stopped the rave shit and replaced it with power ballads, which they all sang along to of course. No-one should have to hear Chris de Burgh at any time, but belted out by drunken neds at 5.30am? Jennifer fucking Rush? Not only are they noisy, drunken, Ed up wee fuckers they have no god dam taste. They must die slowly with sharp things in their heads.
Its now after 6.20 and the wee bastard has indeed stopped. His drunken mates have gone singing down the street , droppingbottles as they go. Still no cops. Nice to know my taxes are well spent.
Friday, August 1, 2003
Mars bar
Mars is at it’s closest to Earth for many years. If you’re planning the ultimate summer getaway, may we recommend the Red Planet Resort? Have fun striding over the arid Martian landscape in out tripods and yelling out "uuuulllaaaahhhhhh!".
From the Pope's homophobic, anti-democratic rantings to Mars, all in the same day. Don't say I'm not diverse kids!
Hey, is that a green flare of gas I see? Not to worry - the odds of anything coming from Mars are a million to one,he said...
Mars is at it’s closest to Earth for many years. If you’re planning the ultimate summer getaway, may we recommend the Red Planet Resort? Have fun striding over the arid Martian landscape in out tripods and yelling out "uuuulllaaaahhhhhh!".
From the Pope's homophobic, anti-democratic rantings to Mars, all in the same day. Don't say I'm not diverse kids!
Hey, is that a green flare of gas I see? Not to worry - the odds of anything coming from Mars are a million to one,he said...
This ain’t right…
So there are Alex and I sitting in the darkened cinema waiting for the gloriously silly and OTT Terminator 3 (review soon on the Alien). Hmm, the programme started early. Hmmm, the trailers are all clearly for girl’s pictures. And when I say girls, I mean extremely girly, the sort of sugary pink romance that would make even Helen Fielding or Marian Keyes diabetic. Why show these before an action-FX movie? Film starts. Legally Blonde 2. The trailers are pitched at the right audience - the 13 year old girls all around us - we’re in the wrong auditorium! Ooops. My god those trailers! Who says girls mature quicker than boys? Look at those movies, look at teenie girls screaming at utterly banal and shite manufactured boy bands. Mature? Hmmm.
Anyway we made it to the screen next door (try putting your numbers on the side nearest the entrance UGC!!) in time for the start and we both thoroughly enjoyed it. Extremely silly (deliberately so I think in places), cartoon violence like a Road Runner plot (hitting someone with a rocket then watching them get back up, smashing heads through walls etc). Utterly silly but very enjoyable, even if it is the same plot as the first two recycled again (although the ending is quite good and not what I expected).
And I refute utterly that we went in to that wrong screen deliberately to try and find some young girls to show our puppies to. Anyway I don’t have puppies, being a cat person and Alex would probably have one of those robot dogs from Japan. Or K-9 maybe.
So there are Alex and I sitting in the darkened cinema waiting for the gloriously silly and OTT Terminator 3 (review soon on the Alien). Hmm, the programme started early. Hmmm, the trailers are all clearly for girl’s pictures. And when I say girls, I mean extremely girly, the sort of sugary pink romance that would make even Helen Fielding or Marian Keyes diabetic. Why show these before an action-FX movie? Film starts. Legally Blonde 2. The trailers are pitched at the right audience - the 13 year old girls all around us - we’re in the wrong auditorium! Ooops. My god those trailers! Who says girls mature quicker than boys? Look at those movies, look at teenie girls screaming at utterly banal and shite manufactured boy bands. Mature? Hmmm.
Anyway we made it to the screen next door (try putting your numbers on the side nearest the entrance UGC!!) in time for the start and we both thoroughly enjoyed it. Extremely silly (deliberately so I think in places), cartoon violence like a Road Runner plot (hitting someone with a rocket then watching them get back up, smashing heads through walls etc). Utterly silly but very enjoyable, even if it is the same plot as the first two recycled again (although the ending is quite good and not what I expected).
And I refute utterly that we went in to that wrong screen deliberately to try and find some young girls to show our puppies to. Anyway I don’t have puppies, being a cat person and Alex would probably have one of those robot dogs from Japan. Or K-9 maybe.
A load of old (Papal) bull
The latest pronouncement from that font of brotherly love - the Catholic Church - on homosexuality was released by the Pope today. Many religions have been guilty of dreadful intolerance over the centuries, to those of different colours, classes, nations and other religions of course. While preaching goodness and morality many a religious hypocrite has pronounced those he doesn’t agree with (and it is usually a he, women ain’t too popular either) to be offensive. The Christian churches and especially the Catholic Church have all too often been the guiltiest of this intolerance, despite Christ teaching universal love.
With this pronouncement though the Pope has come out and labelled same sex relationships and marriages to be ‘evil’. What right does a senile old man have to make such a judgement on a whole sector of society? What does an ancient, doddering celibate know about love, sex and marriage to begin with? Why would anyone take advice on relationships from someone who knows nothing about them? Come to think of it, Christian teaching instructs the faithful explicitly not to judge “lest ye be judged yourself”. Of course, that pesky Bible can be ignored when inconvenient by church leaders and brought out only when they need it to beat up on scientists or pagans.
Worse still this incredibly arrogant old fool has issued a commandment to Catholics to follow his line on this. He actually sent letters to Members of Parliament commanding - not suggesting - them on how to vote on parliamentary matters concerned with homosexuality. What century does this arrogant, judgemental, intolerant old fool live in? How dare they attempt to tell the elected representatives of the people how to think and what morality to follow. That is deliberate interference in the democratic process of a sovereign nation.
Now I personally detest religion, but I tolerate the right of any person to follow their beliefs, no matter how foolish I feel them to be. But many of those who suffer from an over abundance of ‘morality’, looking down on us all from their heavenly heights, can’t just follow their own moral code; they have to inflict them on the rest of society. It doesn’t seem to have sunk into these backwards looking intolerants that we no longer live in a feudalistic, medieval society. Just look at the holier than thou lot who spent millions campaigning against the repeal of Section 28 a few years ago. But to stand up and pronounce whole bunch of people to be evil that you have never even met or know nothing of is utterly awful. Coming from the earthly representative of a man who supposedly professed to teach a new religion of love is sickening.
I was taught as a young boy never, ever to discriminate against another person because of their race, colour or creed. As I grew up I naturally included gender preference to this list. After all, if I saw fit to discriminate against someone because they were gay then it makes a mockery of me not judging someone else on ethnicity, gender or religion. I may be many things, but I’m not a hypocrite. That’s called developing and expanding your own morality, something the Pope thinks his followers can’t do for themselves obviously. It’s not even a question of individuals approving (not that they are being allowed the right here) - a person’s approval of another’s lifestyle is irrelevant: it’s tolerating their right to live that life free of duress as long as they harm no-one else that matters in a modern, egalitarian society. Does Peter Tatchell make pronouncements that the Pop is evil and Mps must vote against all legislation concerning Catholics? One sits back and passes judgements, expecting all to follow; the other uses direct action and protest to try and help human rights causes. I think I know which one I consider to be a more moral man.
The latest pronouncement from that font of brotherly love - the Catholic Church - on homosexuality was released by the Pope today. Many religions have been guilty of dreadful intolerance over the centuries, to those of different colours, classes, nations and other religions of course. While preaching goodness and morality many a religious hypocrite has pronounced those he doesn’t agree with (and it is usually a he, women ain’t too popular either) to be offensive. The Christian churches and especially the Catholic Church have all too often been the guiltiest of this intolerance, despite Christ teaching universal love.
With this pronouncement though the Pope has come out and labelled same sex relationships and marriages to be ‘evil’. What right does a senile old man have to make such a judgement on a whole sector of society? What does an ancient, doddering celibate know about love, sex and marriage to begin with? Why would anyone take advice on relationships from someone who knows nothing about them? Come to think of it, Christian teaching instructs the faithful explicitly not to judge “lest ye be judged yourself”. Of course, that pesky Bible can be ignored when inconvenient by church leaders and brought out only when they need it to beat up on scientists or pagans.
Worse still this incredibly arrogant old fool has issued a commandment to Catholics to follow his line on this. He actually sent letters to Members of Parliament commanding - not suggesting - them on how to vote on parliamentary matters concerned with homosexuality. What century does this arrogant, judgemental, intolerant old fool live in? How dare they attempt to tell the elected representatives of the people how to think and what morality to follow. That is deliberate interference in the democratic process of a sovereign nation.
Now I personally detest religion, but I tolerate the right of any person to follow their beliefs, no matter how foolish I feel them to be. But many of those who suffer from an over abundance of ‘morality’, looking down on us all from their heavenly heights, can’t just follow their own moral code; they have to inflict them on the rest of society. It doesn’t seem to have sunk into these backwards looking intolerants that we no longer live in a feudalistic, medieval society. Just look at the holier than thou lot who spent millions campaigning against the repeal of Section 28 a few years ago. But to stand up and pronounce whole bunch of people to be evil that you have never even met or know nothing of is utterly awful. Coming from the earthly representative of a man who supposedly professed to teach a new religion of love is sickening.
I was taught as a young boy never, ever to discriminate against another person because of their race, colour or creed. As I grew up I naturally included gender preference to this list. After all, if I saw fit to discriminate against someone because they were gay then it makes a mockery of me not judging someone else on ethnicity, gender or religion. I may be many things, but I’m not a hypocrite. That’s called developing and expanding your own morality, something the Pope thinks his followers can’t do for themselves obviously. It’s not even a question of individuals approving (not that they are being allowed the right here) - a person’s approval of another’s lifestyle is irrelevant: it’s tolerating their right to live that life free of duress as long as they harm no-one else that matters in a modern, egalitarian society. Does Peter Tatchell make pronouncements that the Pop is evil and Mps must vote against all legislation concerning Catholics? One sits back and passes judgements, expecting all to follow; the other uses direct action and protest to try and help human rights causes. I think I know which one I consider to be a more moral man.
Hey, teacher - leave those old folk alone
Scottish teachers are up in arms - again - this time over retirement ages. A Scottish Executive committee is looking into raising the retirement age for teachers. Currently it is set at 60 instead of the more common 65 for most of the rest of the population. Teachers say this is a dreadful idea - predictably - and argue that older teachers will be burned out by the stress of the job, with detrimental effects on their health and on the kid’s teaching. Gee I had no idea that teachers coped fine with their vocation but could suddenly fall apart if pushed beyond the age of 60. Perhaps they all have a little ruby embedded in their palm like Logan’s Run?
I have to say I really don’t think the teacher’s arguments cut any ice. Almost the entire population have to wait until 65 for retirement. Why should they be any different? Especially considering that majority who work longer are paying the teacher’s wages? As there is a shortage of skilled and experienced teachers surely any wanting to work a few extra years after their 60th should be welcomed? Added to which groups for older people are constantly campaigning for employers to recognise the value and experience of senior citizens for some work tasks.
Teachers point to other public servants such as the fire and police services, both of whom have much earlier retirement ages. As these are radically different jobs, often physically demanding and requiring good reflexes to deal with life or death situations I don’t think there is a valid comparison to make (except perhaps in some inner-city schools). I would have thought a teacher would be better compared with another white-collar, well-educated public profession such as the librarians, not fire fighters.
I’m not putting the boot into teachers here - it is a valuable profession that is a requirment for all advanced and equitable societies (plus I have several in the family). As a book professional I obviously extol the virtues of learning. I’m sure it is demanding and stressful, but then so is my job. So is your job. So is everyone’s bloody job! Yes they have to work longer hours than they are mandated to do, marking and preparing lessons etc. But how many of us have to do extra work, evenings and weekends regularly all the year round? And we don’t get the holidays, job security and pension plan teachers get. And for myself I see them earning twice what I earn, funded by my taxes on my meagre pay and have no children and therefore no actual use for teachers. I believe in a welfare state system where we all chip in for the common good however, so I don’t really grudge that too much (just like to whinge about it a bit). But trying to score earlier, state-funded retirement off the back of the rest of the working population, at a time when we’re all being told our pensions are crapping out and we may all have to work way beyond that age is ridiculous. Or I could say fine, go ahead - but if I never have kids I expect my share of my taxes that went to them to be paid back from their pension fund towards mine. Hmmm, now there is an equitable arrangement.
Scottish teachers are up in arms - again - this time over retirement ages. A Scottish Executive committee is looking into raising the retirement age for teachers. Currently it is set at 60 instead of the more common 65 for most of the rest of the population. Teachers say this is a dreadful idea - predictably - and argue that older teachers will be burned out by the stress of the job, with detrimental effects on their health and on the kid’s teaching. Gee I had no idea that teachers coped fine with their vocation but could suddenly fall apart if pushed beyond the age of 60. Perhaps they all have a little ruby embedded in their palm like Logan’s Run?
I have to say I really don’t think the teacher’s arguments cut any ice. Almost the entire population have to wait until 65 for retirement. Why should they be any different? Especially considering that majority who work longer are paying the teacher’s wages? As there is a shortage of skilled and experienced teachers surely any wanting to work a few extra years after their 60th should be welcomed? Added to which groups for older people are constantly campaigning for employers to recognise the value and experience of senior citizens for some work tasks.
Teachers point to other public servants such as the fire and police services, both of whom have much earlier retirement ages. As these are radically different jobs, often physically demanding and requiring good reflexes to deal with life or death situations I don’t think there is a valid comparison to make (except perhaps in some inner-city schools). I would have thought a teacher would be better compared with another white-collar, well-educated public profession such as the librarians, not fire fighters.
I’m not putting the boot into teachers here - it is a valuable profession that is a requirment for all advanced and equitable societies (plus I have several in the family). As a book professional I obviously extol the virtues of learning. I’m sure it is demanding and stressful, but then so is my job. So is your job. So is everyone’s bloody job! Yes they have to work longer hours than they are mandated to do, marking and preparing lessons etc. But how many of us have to do extra work, evenings and weekends regularly all the year round? And we don’t get the holidays, job security and pension plan teachers get. And for myself I see them earning twice what I earn, funded by my taxes on my meagre pay and have no children and therefore no actual use for teachers. I believe in a welfare state system where we all chip in for the common good however, so I don’t really grudge that too much (just like to whinge about it a bit). But trying to score earlier, state-funded retirement off the back of the rest of the working population, at a time when we’re all being told our pensions are crapping out and we may all have to work way beyond that age is ridiculous. Or I could say fine, go ahead - but if I never have kids I expect my share of my taxes that went to them to be paid back from their pension fund towards mine. Hmmm, now there is an equitable arrangement.
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