Different country, same shit
Last week Channel 4 News reported that the London Metropolitan police mis-used the powers given to them under anti-terrorism acts to detain and search peace protestors near an arms convention. They used these powers several times and were captured on camera - although they still tried to deny it - to harass peaceful protestors. So determined are the authorities to protect our beloved democratic way of life they are prepared to run roughshod all over our civil liberties in a blatant manner to do so. They also interfered with the news crew's attempts to film this, which is another blatant misuse of police powers and a disgraceful disregard for the democratic right to protest and for freedom of the press. All of this despite the fact when these controversial powers were enacted a few years ago many in parliament argued that the police would mis-use them at some point when it suited them. Well, they did and they were caught doing it.
Now a new article in the NY Times shows that the authorities in the US of A (United States of Arrogance) are also using the sweeping powers given to them in the so-called Patriot Act on many forms of potential crime which have nothing to do with terrorism or national security. Can you say 'police state' boys and girls. Meanwhile Blunkett plans ID cards with databases which many government departments can access about us without judicial oversight. Those in power need to be reminded of the people's voice from time to time, before they get too arrogant after too long in power. Blair should examine his history - I seem to recall that in these islands we once cut the head off a king for daring to use too many powers on those he served.
Sunday, September 28, 2003
Productive
After a long and tiring week toiling in a dim, dusty room sorting out stock for the new Waterstone’s I was very glad to get a weekend off. As I had to stop off at our West End branch to drop off keys I figured I may as well meet up with my mate Gordon, who works nearby and duly arrived in the late evening sunlight to have a pint or two outside of Teuchters. This was followed by a brief stop for a pint or two on the way home at Ryries, which was interrupted by a bizarre bunch of middle-aged, tubby musicians who come in with fiddles and accordions and play very loudly for a few minutes before passing round the cap for money. Or a tambourine in this case. I think folk give them money to make them go away. I normally enjoy live music in the pub, but these guys just breeze in, play loudly and walk up and down stopping at everyone’s table on the way, which is annoying when you’re trying to have a very well-earned drink and chat with a mate after a long, long week. Anyway, ten minutes further along the road home - not so much The Road Less Travelled, more the Road Pissed and Sozzled - and we stop in at another pub, the Balmoral.
Now the Balmoral is a bar on Dalry road we have both passed many times yet neither of us has ever drunk in despite living in this part of town for many years. With the excellent Caley Sample Room, Diggers and The Golden Rule nearby we don’t go into the other bars so much. It was an okay pub but there was a real lack of proper ale. However by this time our quick two or three pints had grown to take us past ten o’clock, so we didn’t much care by then. Guess who was very glad he had Irn Bru in the fridge when he got home? And guess who had very annoyed pussycats yowling at him and glaring pointedly at empty food bowls when he got home?
So after that I thought it time to take the rest of the weekend at a slower pace and relaxed with a nice Laurel and Hardy DVD I picked up form Fopp for a mere 3 quid. The Flying Deuces - the one where Stan and Ollie join the French Foreign Legion. It’s also the one where Ollie dies at the end but is reincarnated as a horse before going off with Stan at the end. Fabulous stuff. Stan Laurel can reduce me to gales of laughter with a slight change in expression.
So on Sunday I decided to get a little more productive and to this end battered out no less than three reviews for the Alien Online - two books (How to Build a Nuclear Bomb and Roma Eterna) and a movie (Underworld - flawed but mildly enjoyable, unlike Cypher which was so bad I’m not going to waste time writing a review of it). Now I feel like I have done something productive after a couple of weeks of no reviews (which is a long time for me). And I am extremely pleased to see our beloved Alien has been nominated once more for an award in the Best Small Press category. Perhaps Ariel is right and Peter Crowther will walk away with it again for his Most Excellent PS Publishing (whose titles I have been very happy to stock and sell) but I still think we’re in with a good shout (we’ve won one award and are hungry for more).
Anyway, it’s great to be nominated because it means the SF Community are paying attention to us and like what they see. As they are the people we largely write for this is a pretty rewarding feeling and one the whole Alien team - including, at last, Alex - should feel proud of. And despite his modesty, Ariel should feel especially proud of. Yes, it is a huge team effort, but he’s the one who pulls it all together and keeps it running, so accept some sincerely-meant kudos, mate, you deserve them, as do the whole team.
After a long and tiring week toiling in a dim, dusty room sorting out stock for the new Waterstone’s I was very glad to get a weekend off. As I had to stop off at our West End branch to drop off keys I figured I may as well meet up with my mate Gordon, who works nearby and duly arrived in the late evening sunlight to have a pint or two outside of Teuchters. This was followed by a brief stop for a pint or two on the way home at Ryries, which was interrupted by a bizarre bunch of middle-aged, tubby musicians who come in with fiddles and accordions and play very loudly for a few minutes before passing round the cap for money. Or a tambourine in this case. I think folk give them money to make them go away. I normally enjoy live music in the pub, but these guys just breeze in, play loudly and walk up and down stopping at everyone’s table on the way, which is annoying when you’re trying to have a very well-earned drink and chat with a mate after a long, long week. Anyway, ten minutes further along the road home - not so much The Road Less Travelled, more the Road Pissed and Sozzled - and we stop in at another pub, the Balmoral.
Now the Balmoral is a bar on Dalry road we have both passed many times yet neither of us has ever drunk in despite living in this part of town for many years. With the excellent Caley Sample Room, Diggers and The Golden Rule nearby we don’t go into the other bars so much. It was an okay pub but there was a real lack of proper ale. However by this time our quick two or three pints had grown to take us past ten o’clock, so we didn’t much care by then. Guess who was very glad he had Irn Bru in the fridge when he got home? And guess who had very annoyed pussycats yowling at him and glaring pointedly at empty food bowls when he got home?
So after that I thought it time to take the rest of the weekend at a slower pace and relaxed with a nice Laurel and Hardy DVD I picked up form Fopp for a mere 3 quid. The Flying Deuces - the one where Stan and Ollie join the French Foreign Legion. It’s also the one where Ollie dies at the end but is reincarnated as a horse before going off with Stan at the end. Fabulous stuff. Stan Laurel can reduce me to gales of laughter with a slight change in expression.
So on Sunday I decided to get a little more productive and to this end battered out no less than three reviews for the Alien Online - two books (How to Build a Nuclear Bomb and Roma Eterna) and a movie (Underworld - flawed but mildly enjoyable, unlike Cypher which was so bad I’m not going to waste time writing a review of it). Now I feel like I have done something productive after a couple of weeks of no reviews (which is a long time for me). And I am extremely pleased to see our beloved Alien has been nominated once more for an award in the Best Small Press category. Perhaps Ariel is right and Peter Crowther will walk away with it again for his Most Excellent PS Publishing (whose titles I have been very happy to stock and sell) but I still think we’re in with a good shout (we’ve won one award and are hungry for more).
Anyway, it’s great to be nominated because it means the SF Community are paying attention to us and like what they see. As they are the people we largely write for this is a pretty rewarding feeling and one the whole Alien team - including, at last, Alex - should feel proud of. And despite his modesty, Ariel should feel especially proud of. Yes, it is a huge team effort, but he’s the one who pulls it all together and keeps it running, so accept some sincerely-meant kudos, mate, you deserve them, as do the whole team.
Saturday, September 27, 2003
Animated Arnold
Atom Films has a nice little animation download of a Schwarzenneger election broadcast.
Atom Films has a nice little animation download of a Schwarzenneger election broadcast.
Wednesday, September 24, 2003
Electro paper
Scientist in the Netherlands have revealed a new way of making thin sheets show images, promising the possibility of thin sheets with text and colour pictures - in other words electronic newspapers with texts and images that you can roll up like paper.
Scientist in the Netherlands have revealed a new way of making thin sheets show images, promising the possibility of thin sheets with text and colour pictures - in other words electronic newspapers with texts and images that you can roll up like paper.
Waterstone’s sur-la-mere
Third day of my temporary posting at Leith’s Ocean Terminal mall down in the dockside, setting up a brand new bookstore from scratch. Of course, this being Waterstone’s the organisation is all over the place - you’d never guess this was the UK’s biggest book chain. While the store itself is just a shell being fitted out we’ve been given a couple of empty units above it to set up unpacking and stock processing facilities. The computers were all there on Monday when we arrived. Alas the controller for them and the software still aren’t. So me and my little team have been unpacking away like book opening beavers, but without the ability to process the thousands of titles we’ve received. This means we’re having to take a lot on trust.
I’ve now been told what is expected of me - finally - and golly, gee it’s a lot more complicated and, given the time deadline, stressful than I thought. Basically organising all of the goods in then taking that stock, sorting and arranging it all so that when the store is ready we can take down palettes of crates which I have hopefully arranged perfectly to go right onto the shelves, like a cross between a literary jigsaw puzzle and Lego. Helped no end by the lack of computer facilities and the fact the room we’ve been given to store the books in and for me to sort them in has one single emergency light for a twenty metre space. Our building services guy promised to set up light stands of the type the builders use until the electric fittings are in. Thursday tomorrow and me and my Harbour Homies are still trying to sort books in the 30 watt gloom. Even vamp boys like me need some light to read book titles by. Perhaps I could train my cats to use their excellent night vision to sort them for me? Of course, I’d have to factor their 18 hours of napping into my staff rota.
Still, it is an unusual change of pace and is going to be pretty damned challenging for me. A tad stressful and tiring obviously, but it should also be quite satisfying if pulled off and the guys I am working with are all mucking in and we‘re having fun in the trenches. Plus I had lunch overlooking the harbour, right next to the Royal Yacht Britannia, looking out over the Forth estuary to Fife. Which is much nicer than looking the other side of the building where the ‘regeneration’ of Leith’s dockside continues in the shape of monstrously ugly new buildings being constructed. Some of the ugliest architecture of the modern world collected down here altogether. I guess it balanced the gorgeous architecture of the medieval Old Town and the Neo-Classical New Town. And instead of making fun of tourists around the Castle area I can poke fun at tourists paying out 8 bloody quid to go onto Britannia.
Third day of my temporary posting at Leith’s Ocean Terminal mall down in the dockside, setting up a brand new bookstore from scratch. Of course, this being Waterstone’s the organisation is all over the place - you’d never guess this was the UK’s biggest book chain. While the store itself is just a shell being fitted out we’ve been given a couple of empty units above it to set up unpacking and stock processing facilities. The computers were all there on Monday when we arrived. Alas the controller for them and the software still aren’t. So me and my little team have been unpacking away like book opening beavers, but without the ability to process the thousands of titles we’ve received. This means we’re having to take a lot on trust.
I’ve now been told what is expected of me - finally - and golly, gee it’s a lot more complicated and, given the time deadline, stressful than I thought. Basically organising all of the goods in then taking that stock, sorting and arranging it all so that when the store is ready we can take down palettes of crates which I have hopefully arranged perfectly to go right onto the shelves, like a cross between a literary jigsaw puzzle and Lego. Helped no end by the lack of computer facilities and the fact the room we’ve been given to store the books in and for me to sort them in has one single emergency light for a twenty metre space. Our building services guy promised to set up light stands of the type the builders use until the electric fittings are in. Thursday tomorrow and me and my Harbour Homies are still trying to sort books in the 30 watt gloom. Even vamp boys like me need some light to read book titles by. Perhaps I could train my cats to use their excellent night vision to sort them for me? Of course, I’d have to factor their 18 hours of napping into my staff rota.
Still, it is an unusual change of pace and is going to be pretty damned challenging for me. A tad stressful and tiring obviously, but it should also be quite satisfying if pulled off and the guys I am working with are all mucking in and we‘re having fun in the trenches. Plus I had lunch overlooking the harbour, right next to the Royal Yacht Britannia, looking out over the Forth estuary to Fife. Which is much nicer than looking the other side of the building where the ‘regeneration’ of Leith’s dockside continues in the shape of monstrously ugly new buildings being constructed. Some of the ugliest architecture of the modern world collected down here altogether. I guess it balanced the gorgeous architecture of the medieval Old Town and the Neo-Classical New Town. And instead of making fun of tourists around the Castle area I can poke fun at tourists paying out 8 bloody quid to go onto Britannia.
WHERE ARE THOSE PESKY MISSING WMDs?
A BBC politics programme broke the news that the interim report into WMDs in Iraq clearly shows that there isn’t a bloody trace of nuclear, biological or chemical weapons or the facilities to create them for the future. Well, that’s such a big surprise, isn’t it boys and girls? Gee, most of us nodded our heads gravely when Tony Blair told us how rock solid our intelligence was - the real intelligence and the kind he and Campbell massaged for public consumption - and of course as good little citizens we all accepted what our leaders told us and agreed that this was, regrettably, complete justification to bomb the fucking crap out of another nation.
We at the Gazette can now tell you what happened to all of those weapons Blair, Campbell and Bush told us really, really existed and which threatened our very existence (because we all know only ourselves and the Americans should have massive weapons of destruction). Saddam did indeed have copious amounts of WMDs, but he spirited them out of the country before Gulf War II opened and secreted them in David Blaine’s apartment. This is why Blaine is currently suspended from a box on a supposed public fast - he can’t actually fit into his apartment because he has chemical weapons in his shower and a nuclear bomb in his bedroom.
In fact, we can exclusively reveal that the man in the box you see on television isn’t publicity hungry egomaniacal magician David Blaine at all, but is actually Saddam Hussein in disguise, hiding in plain sight.
A BBC politics programme broke the news that the interim report into WMDs in Iraq clearly shows that there isn’t a bloody trace of nuclear, biological or chemical weapons or the facilities to create them for the future. Well, that’s such a big surprise, isn’t it boys and girls? Gee, most of us nodded our heads gravely when Tony Blair told us how rock solid our intelligence was - the real intelligence and the kind he and Campbell massaged for public consumption - and of course as good little citizens we all accepted what our leaders told us and agreed that this was, regrettably, complete justification to bomb the fucking crap out of another nation.
We at the Gazette can now tell you what happened to all of those weapons Blair, Campbell and Bush told us really, really existed and which threatened our very existence (because we all know only ourselves and the Americans should have massive weapons of destruction). Saddam did indeed have copious amounts of WMDs, but he spirited them out of the country before Gulf War II opened and secreted them in David Blaine’s apartment. This is why Blaine is currently suspended from a box on a supposed public fast - he can’t actually fit into his apartment because he has chemical weapons in his shower and a nuclear bomb in his bedroom.
In fact, we can exclusively reveal that the man in the box you see on television isn’t publicity hungry egomaniacal magician David Blaine at all, but is actually Saddam Hussein in disguise, hiding in plain sight.
Monday, September 22, 2003
How Patriotic
Not satisfied with trampling all over the individual liberties and constitutional rights of American citizens (not to mention foreign detainees) in the last couple of years with the Partiot Act and the Orwellian-nightmare-come-true Ministry of Homeland Security - IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH, WAR IS PEACE - Bush is at it again with a sequel to the bestselling Partiot Act. However as this NY Times article makes clear, this time round not so many Americans are allowing their panic over terrorism to blind them to the threat this represents to them. Thank goodness he's not going to get it all his own way this time. Alas, over here in old Blighty you just know David 'Gestapo' Blunkett is licking his lips over the thought of some of those powers to arrest without charge or trail and to seize you personal records without a court order...
Not satisfied with trampling all over the individual liberties and constitutional rights of American citizens (not to mention foreign detainees) in the last couple of years with the Partiot Act and the Orwellian-nightmare-come-true Ministry of Homeland Security - IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH, WAR IS PEACE - Bush is at it again with a sequel to the bestselling Partiot Act. However as this NY Times article makes clear, this time round not so many Americans are allowing their panic over terrorism to blind them to the threat this represents to them. Thank goodness he's not going to get it all his own way this time. Alas, over here in old Blighty you just know David 'Gestapo' Blunkett is licking his lips over the thought of some of those powers to arrest without charge or trail and to seize you personal records without a court order...
Sunday, September 21, 2003
Bite me
Just been to see some movies over the weekend. Caught Cypher, the cyber-thriller, last night with some chums. After good reviews all round I expected something good from the maker of the excellent low-budget film Cube. Even Kim Newman gave it four stars in Empire, and Kim is normally a good barometer, especially of genre material. However, I have to say it was the biggest, most disappointing piece of unoriginal nonsense I've seen in ages. There simply wasn't an original thought in this film. The plot of constant conspiracy within conspiracy and what is real, who am I really, are these my memories or someone elses? Well, these are all cribbed wholesale from a variety of films and books - actually the estate of Philip K Dick should sue their arses off for rifling his back-catalogue ideas. Even the look of the film was weak - it was a cut and past of techniques; put in a web-cam style shot here, a weird angle here, an out-of-foucs one here, a pixellated shot here etc. This meant the film had no visual integrity or cohesion - it looked like a sequence of vidoes or ads strung together, each with competing visual styles which robbed the film of any feel. Actually this goes quite well with the wholesale cut and pasting of ideas for the narratives and characters. And if you can't spot the ending coming a mile off then you're legally brain dead. Still, it was nice for me to see Nigel Bennet of Forever Knight and Lexx in a big screen role, although playing a bad guy as ever...
Underworld was far more entertaining, although only marginally more original. Kate Beckinsale in a straight cross between Blade and the Crow, except with a kick-ass babe in Trinity style leather. Nice, dark, Gothic location shooting in Budapest, but nothing overly original. Vampires versus werewolves? Okay, mildly fun, but the fights came across like the fights between Blade and his vampire Bloodpack hunters and the Reapers in Blade II. And let's be honest, a werewolf is a mindless big dog once the human has changed. It might have big teeth and be immensely strong, but a vampire is even stronger, immortal and can also use weapons as well as teeth and strength, so obviously they should kick the wolf boy's ass. Still, mildly diverting pseudo Gothic nonsense, left well open for a potential franchise to be set up and Kate looked great in leather (see pic from the Internet Movie Database), even if her acting was actually called upon to do more than the terribly cloched vampire oh-its-scuh-a-bitch-being-immortal pout. She could learn something from Nigel Bennet's Lacroix character in Forever Knight.
Just been to see some movies over the weekend. Caught Cypher, the cyber-thriller, last night with some chums. After good reviews all round I expected something good from the maker of the excellent low-budget film Cube. Even Kim Newman gave it four stars in Empire, and Kim is normally a good barometer, especially of genre material. However, I have to say it was the biggest, most disappointing piece of unoriginal nonsense I've seen in ages. There simply wasn't an original thought in this film. The plot of constant conspiracy within conspiracy and what is real, who am I really, are these my memories or someone elses? Well, these are all cribbed wholesale from a variety of films and books - actually the estate of Philip K Dick should sue their arses off for rifling his back-catalogue ideas. Even the look of the film was weak - it was a cut and past of techniques; put in a web-cam style shot here, a weird angle here, an out-of-foucs one here, a pixellated shot here etc. This meant the film had no visual integrity or cohesion - it looked like a sequence of vidoes or ads strung together, each with competing visual styles which robbed the film of any feel. Actually this goes quite well with the wholesale cut and pasting of ideas for the narratives and characters. And if you can't spot the ending coming a mile off then you're legally brain dead. Still, it was nice for me to see Nigel Bennet of Forever Knight and Lexx in a big screen role, although playing a bad guy as ever...
Underworld was far more entertaining, although only marginally more original. Kate Beckinsale in a straight cross between Blade and the Crow, except with a kick-ass babe in Trinity style leather. Nice, dark, Gothic location shooting in Budapest, but nothing overly original. Vampires versus werewolves? Okay, mildly fun, but the fights came across like the fights between Blade and his vampire Bloodpack hunters and the Reapers in Blade II. And let's be honest, a werewolf is a mindless big dog once the human has changed. It might have big teeth and be immensely strong, but a vampire is even stronger, immortal and can also use weapons as well as teeth and strength, so obviously they should kick the wolf boy's ass. Still, mildly diverting pseudo Gothic nonsense, left well open for a potential franchise to be set up and Kate looked great in leather (see pic from the Internet Movie Database), even if her acting was actually called upon to do more than the terribly cloched vampire oh-its-scuh-a-bitch-being-immortal pout. She could learn something from Nigel Bennet's Lacroix character in Forever Knight.
Nail 'em up! Best thing the Romans ever did for us...
Etc, etc. Crucifixion for those who don't get this Monty Python and the Life of Brian reference. Mel Gibson is attracting - indeed reportedly courting - controversy over his new religious movie about the crucifixion of Jesus. I read a few weeks ago that several Jewish groups had attacked the film as anti-semitic and accused him of bringing up the old 'the Jews killed Jesus therefore they are bad' notion, which has been the weak justification for persecution for centuries. Gibson himself is a devout Catholic - a religious movement not averse to inflicitng a little persecution itself I might add - and defends himself against the anti-semitism charge.
Not having seen the film it is hard to judge, but going by the fact that there are a lot of very powerful figures in the American movie industry who are Jewish (indeed there have been since the birth of the movies) it would be a bit silly of him to piss of those of Hebrew persuasion. Haven't seen the film, so I can't comment - but I have read disturbing reports about him pushing his religious beliefs strongly - sick bag on standby, why do these religious folks have to try and ram their beliefs down our throat? - in this movie and going as far as to shoot it with ancient Aramaic dialogue for 'realism' This from a man who gave us the wonderfully authentic Braveheart, the Patriot and Lethal Weapon - obviously a serious thespian committed to crafting realistic takes on historical of contemporary events. Sounds like a work of extreme hubris to me - gee isn't overweening pride something good Catholics are supposed to confess as a sin? This article in the NY Times has a nice, if somewhat peevish, swing at the Gibber. Me? I find all the religious enlightenment I require from watching Father Ted.
Etc, etc. Crucifixion for those who don't get this Monty Python and the Life of Brian reference. Mel Gibson is attracting - indeed reportedly courting - controversy over his new religious movie about the crucifixion of Jesus. I read a few weeks ago that several Jewish groups had attacked the film as anti-semitic and accused him of bringing up the old 'the Jews killed Jesus therefore they are bad' notion, which has been the weak justification for persecution for centuries. Gibson himself is a devout Catholic - a religious movement not averse to inflicitng a little persecution itself I might add - and defends himself against the anti-semitism charge.
Not having seen the film it is hard to judge, but going by the fact that there are a lot of very powerful figures in the American movie industry who are Jewish (indeed there have been since the birth of the movies) it would be a bit silly of him to piss of those of Hebrew persuasion. Haven't seen the film, so I can't comment - but I have read disturbing reports about him pushing his religious beliefs strongly - sick bag on standby, why do these religious folks have to try and ram their beliefs down our throat? - in this movie and going as far as to shoot it with ancient Aramaic dialogue for 'realism' This from a man who gave us the wonderfully authentic Braveheart, the Patriot and Lethal Weapon - obviously a serious thespian committed to crafting realistic takes on historical of contemporary events. Sounds like a work of extreme hubris to me - gee isn't overweening pride something good Catholics are supposed to confess as a sin? This article in the NY Times has a nice, if somewhat peevish, swing at the Gibber. Me? I find all the religious enlightenment I require from watching Father Ted.
Thursday, September 18, 2003
Musical authors
Nice article in the excellent Locus online about short tales by famous authors such as Neil Gaiman or Ursula Le Guin that most of us have never heard of (yes, even I haven't read all of them you know!). Why? because they are in the form of song...
Nice article in the excellent Locus online about short tales by famous authors such as Neil Gaiman or Ursula Le Guin that most of us have never heard of (yes, even I haven't read all of them you know!). Why? because they are in the form of song...
By Jove!
Interesting article in New Scientist regarding the Galileo space probe. Now the primary mission is over NASA has decided to crash it into the atmosphere of our solar system's largest world, Jupiter.
Interesting article in New Scientist regarding the Galileo space probe. Now the primary mission is over NASA has decided to crash it into the atmosphere of our solar system's largest world, Jupiter.
King of the beasts
A disturbing article in New Scientist suggests that the population of lions in the wild has now dropped to around 23, 000 animals - a drop of around 40% over the last dozen years. If correct this moves the greatest of the big cats from what was already a threatened species into one perilously close to the edge of extinction. Human activity, from direct action such as poaching to indirect, such as taking land for farming, building and other encroachments into their territory by humans are driving this magnificent species - along with so many others - to the brink of destruction.
Imagine an Africa without lions. No roars in the dark Serengeti night, no glowing eyes evolved superbly over hundreds of thousands of years to see perfectly in the dark. Quietly stalking their land as they have for millennia, fast, ferocious, beautiful. Imagine no more lions except those poor creatures who live in zoos, gazing sadly from their captive state. When we devalue any species we ultimately devalue all life, including our own species.
A disturbing article in New Scientist suggests that the population of lions in the wild has now dropped to around 23, 000 animals - a drop of around 40% over the last dozen years. If correct this moves the greatest of the big cats from what was already a threatened species into one perilously close to the edge of extinction. Human activity, from direct action such as poaching to indirect, such as taking land for farming, building and other encroachments into their territory by humans are driving this magnificent species - along with so many others - to the brink of destruction.
Imagine an Africa without lions. No roars in the dark Serengeti night, no glowing eyes evolved superbly over hundreds of thousands of years to see perfectly in the dark. Quietly stalking their land as they have for millennia, fast, ferocious, beautiful. Imagine no more lions except those poor creatures who live in zoos, gazing sadly from their captive state. When we devalue any species we ultimately devalue all life, including our own species.
Rock me like a hurricane
As Hurricane Isabelle towers and glowers over the eastern seaboard of the United States like the wrath of God I find it interesting that President Bush has hightailed it out of Washington D.C. for the relative safety of Camp David. Yes, I am sure his supporters are correct and it is a prudent move.
However the sight of the President fleeing his capital while his fellow citizens have to stay and hunker down for the storm is hardly a heartening one. All the more so for the fact that this is the second time that when trouble has loomed Bush has decided to run and hide like a frightened child, just as he did on September 11th. Oh yes, I know, I know - prudence, safety. Odd is it not that neither Churchill nor the Royal family displayed the same prudence during the ferocious bombing of London during the Second World War. Contrary to popular belief the Cabinet War Room was not bomb proof - they stayed to share the danger of the people they led because that calculated risk is a vital part of leadership. Hell, even Blair, who I have little time for, headed right back to Downing Street on 9-11, even although it could well have been another target on that awful day because even he knew that a leader must be seen to lead, not hide. One more reason among so many others to hold this idiotic little man in contempt.
As Hurricane Isabelle towers and glowers over the eastern seaboard of the United States like the wrath of God I find it interesting that President Bush has hightailed it out of Washington D.C. for the relative safety of Camp David. Yes, I am sure his supporters are correct and it is a prudent move.
However the sight of the President fleeing his capital while his fellow citizens have to stay and hunker down for the storm is hardly a heartening one. All the more so for the fact that this is the second time that when trouble has loomed Bush has decided to run and hide like a frightened child, just as he did on September 11th. Oh yes, I know, I know - prudence, safety. Odd is it not that neither Churchill nor the Royal family displayed the same prudence during the ferocious bombing of London during the Second World War. Contrary to popular belief the Cabinet War Room was not bomb proof - they stayed to share the danger of the people they led because that calculated risk is a vital part of leadership. Hell, even Blair, who I have little time for, headed right back to Downing Street on 9-11, even although it could well have been another target on that awful day because even he knew that a leader must be seen to lead, not hide. One more reason among so many others to hold this idiotic little man in contempt.
Tuesday, September 16, 2003
Web archeology
Wow, searching Google I found my old website, still there, just as it was left, except it has had the odd hit since I last saw it. The provider suddenly decided they were going to charge for it and I wasn’t paying them when I could get it free elsewhere - you can’t even use your own software on it! Still, there was the old Library of Dreams, complete with many a review I wrote years back, along with some short fiction I wrote and some poetry. I can’t access it to update it thanks to the greedy provider, but the site is still there, like the digital equivalent of a fly trapped in amber, unchanging.
I did plan another one but after months of design of a much-improved one it wouldn’t damned well upload to Fortune City. The software I used was designed to only load to their site so that was all that work screwed. Matthew was going to do a new design while my mate Gregor did some nice artwork for it, but it never happened. Still, one of these days Matthew will use some of the reviews on his site. One day… In the meantime I had begun contributing to the Alien and as that whole site is running so very well now I’ll probably stick to that and the Woolamaloo Gazette.
Wow, searching Google I found my old website, still there, just as it was left, except it has had the odd hit since I last saw it. The provider suddenly decided they were going to charge for it and I wasn’t paying them when I could get it free elsewhere - you can’t even use your own software on it! Still, there was the old Library of Dreams, complete with many a review I wrote years back, along with some short fiction I wrote and some poetry. I can’t access it to update it thanks to the greedy provider, but the site is still there, like the digital equivalent of a fly trapped in amber, unchanging.
I did plan another one but after months of design of a much-improved one it wouldn’t damned well upload to Fortune City. The software I used was designed to only load to their site so that was all that work screwed. Matthew was going to do a new design while my mate Gregor did some nice artwork for it, but it never happened. Still, one of these days Matthew will use some of the reviews on his site. One day… In the meantime I had begun contributing to the Alien and as that whole site is running so very well now I’ll probably stick to that and the Woolamaloo Gazette.
Vote, vote, vote…
A former general wanting to run for president on an anti-war ticket. The Terminator wanting to be the ‘people’s governor’ for California. And all of this after several years of George Dubyah Bush and the ridiculous and embarrassing electoral shenanigans which brought him, most disreputably, into power. Alas, poor America, how it suffers, how it’s much vaunted democracy for the people, by the people and of the people (or at least the rich, white section of the people) has suffered until it is now clearly exposed as a joke, the punch line played on the unfortunate American public.
In order to redress this dreadful decline and help restore faith in the US democratic process my cats have decided to run for office. Cassandra has announced she will make herself available to govern California. Pandora has selfishly accepted the Feline nomination for President. Campaigning on an anti-war, pro-free fish and tummy tickling for all they expect to harness the votes of many Americans who feel disenfranchised and removed from their government.
Both cats have already proved themselves considerably more erudite than either George Bush or Arnold Schwarzenneger on the hustings and certainly display far more charisma than either of their two-legged opponents. Pandora explained that this was because ‘two legs were bad, four legs were better.’ She went on to explain that she intended to push for fellow cats to take over civil administration in Iraq while she pulled out US troops. Humans, she argued, have made a total dog’s dinner of the country. Saddam was a lunatic and Bush has killed thousands of the people he is supposedly liberating - it is time for a delicate paw at the controls of this ravaged country.
In California Cassandra has proved very popular on whistle stop tours of the major cities. Where Arnold has had eggs thrown at him, Cassie had fish thrown to her, wish she promptly ate before giving a keynote address telling how she would reduce stress and crime by making sure all Californians had access to a cat to play with, before she decided to snooze in the sun for a couple of hours. Some opponents argued that as cats nap for up to 18 hours a day they would be unable to perform all of their duties. Pandora pointed out this still meant they would be awake and alert for more hours of the day than Ronald Reagan ever was as President.
More from the electoral trail as we hear it.
A former general wanting to run for president on an anti-war ticket. The Terminator wanting to be the ‘people’s governor’ for California. And all of this after several years of George Dubyah Bush and the ridiculous and embarrassing electoral shenanigans which brought him, most disreputably, into power. Alas, poor America, how it suffers, how it’s much vaunted democracy for the people, by the people and of the people (or at least the rich, white section of the people) has suffered until it is now clearly exposed as a joke, the punch line played on the unfortunate American public.
In order to redress this dreadful decline and help restore faith in the US democratic process my cats have decided to run for office. Cassandra has announced she will make herself available to govern California. Pandora has selfishly accepted the Feline nomination for President. Campaigning on an anti-war, pro-free fish and tummy tickling for all they expect to harness the votes of many Americans who feel disenfranchised and removed from their government.
Both cats have already proved themselves considerably more erudite than either George Bush or Arnold Schwarzenneger on the hustings and certainly display far more charisma than either of their two-legged opponents. Pandora explained that this was because ‘two legs were bad, four legs were better.’ She went on to explain that she intended to push for fellow cats to take over civil administration in Iraq while she pulled out US troops. Humans, she argued, have made a total dog’s dinner of the country. Saddam was a lunatic and Bush has killed thousands of the people he is supposedly liberating - it is time for a delicate paw at the controls of this ravaged country.
In California Cassandra has proved very popular on whistle stop tours of the major cities. Where Arnold has had eggs thrown at him, Cassie had fish thrown to her, wish she promptly ate before giving a keynote address telling how she would reduce stress and crime by making sure all Californians had access to a cat to play with, before she decided to snooze in the sun for a couple of hours. Some opponents argued that as cats nap for up to 18 hours a day they would be unable to perform all of their duties. Pandora pointed out this still meant they would be awake and alert for more hours of the day than Ronald Reagan ever was as President.
More from the electoral trail as we hear it.
Sunday, September 14, 2003
Madness is sanity
The Sandman, Morpheus, the Prince of Dreams is discussing a human with his sister, Delirium. His younger siblings have bet Dream that this man Joshua Norton, having lost everything, will succumb to their respective realms and that he would be unable to stop this. The Sandman gives Joshua a dream which he acts out, proclaiming himself Emperor of the United States. His home town of Victorian-era San Francisco takes to this eccentric character - tourists come to see him and he establishes a nice life for himself from the ruins of the old.
Despair cannot understand why Joshua has not succumbed to her grey realm. Delirium who was once Delight and sees the world through mis-matched eyes, knows Joshua Norton is mad - yet he is not hers. He has not wandered into the realm of Delirium.
“He should be mine, but he’s not,” exclaims Delirium.
“No, he is not,” agrees her brother Dream.
“His madness…” says Delirium, slowly working out how Dream has outmanoeuvred Joshua from their clutches, “His madness keeps him sane.”
“And do you think he is the only one, my sister?” enquires Dream gravely.
From Neil Gaiman’s wonderful - in all senses of the word - Sandman series.
For some people a little craziness is a very fine way of protecting your mind form the everyday slings and arrows of life. It’s the totally straight folk who usually end up cracking like Joan River’s make-up after another face lift.
The Sandman, Morpheus, the Prince of Dreams is discussing a human with his sister, Delirium. His younger siblings have bet Dream that this man Joshua Norton, having lost everything, will succumb to their respective realms and that he would be unable to stop this. The Sandman gives Joshua a dream which he acts out, proclaiming himself Emperor of the United States. His home town of Victorian-era San Francisco takes to this eccentric character - tourists come to see him and he establishes a nice life for himself from the ruins of the old.
Despair cannot understand why Joshua has not succumbed to her grey realm. Delirium who was once Delight and sees the world through mis-matched eyes, knows Joshua Norton is mad - yet he is not hers. He has not wandered into the realm of Delirium.
“He should be mine, but he’s not,” exclaims Delirium.
“No, he is not,” agrees her brother Dream.
“His madness…” says Delirium, slowly working out how Dream has outmanoeuvred Joshua from their clutches, “His madness keeps him sane.”
“And do you think he is the only one, my sister?” enquires Dream gravely.
From Neil Gaiman’s wonderful - in all senses of the word - Sandman series.
For some people a little craziness is a very fine way of protecting your mind form the everyday slings and arrows of life. It’s the totally straight folk who usually end up cracking like Joan River’s make-up after another face lift.
Animated
Second animated feature film in a few days this afternoon. After the delights of Oscar-winning Studio Ghibli’s Spirited Away I took myself off for a more adult piece of animation in the shape of French film Belleville Rendezvous. Incredibly funny film about a young boy living with his grandmother who is helping him train for the Our de France, until the French Mafia come in and kidnap cyclists for a bizarre gambling game. She pursues them across the ocean (on a pedallo!) to arrive in Bellville, a thinly disguised pastiche of American stereotypes - even the Statue of Liberty is overweight and clutches a burger in her hand.
The artwork is fantastic and the characters incredibly grotesque in a Scarfe-type manner (except for the opening which is done as a newsreel of the Roaring 20s and the animation is drawn in that period’s style - think early Felix the Cat - complete with a Josephine Baker style topless dancer in a costume of bananas. The men in the audience all turn into apes at the sight of her, rush onto the stage and grab at said bananas as she shrieks and runs off). Utterly fabulous little movie and highly recommended to all. After Bellville and Spirited Away I’m feeling much better. The official site is here.
Second animated feature film in a few days this afternoon. After the delights of Oscar-winning Studio Ghibli’s Spirited Away I took myself off for a more adult piece of animation in the shape of French film Belleville Rendezvous. Incredibly funny film about a young boy living with his grandmother who is helping him train for the Our de France, until the French Mafia come in and kidnap cyclists for a bizarre gambling game. She pursues them across the ocean (on a pedallo!) to arrive in Bellville, a thinly disguised pastiche of American stereotypes - even the Statue of Liberty is overweight and clutches a burger in her hand.
The artwork is fantastic and the characters incredibly grotesque in a Scarfe-type manner (except for the opening which is done as a newsreel of the Roaring 20s and the animation is drawn in that period’s style - think early Felix the Cat - complete with a Josephine Baker style topless dancer in a costume of bananas. The men in the audience all turn into apes at the sight of her, rush onto the stage and grab at said bananas as she shrieks and runs off). Utterly fabulous little movie and highly recommended to all. After Bellville and Spirited Away I’m feeling much better. The official site is here.
Diddle-dee-dum
Just realised I hadn’t listened to one of the discs Alex gave to me recently (part of a plan for some of us at work to pass round samples of our favourite music to each other to broaden our horizons). And what’s lurking in there but a funky beat version of Ron Grainer’s Doctor Who theme! Heheheheh. Nice one and very appropriate in this 40th anniversary year of our favourite Time Lord - 40 years in November, can you believe it? Can you believe how long the BBC have left it off air despite a huge international audience for it and huge sales of videos, DVDs, books and other merchandising? A short animated series last year on BBC-I website drew in hundreds of thousands of visitors in a few days yet the BBC still say there is no demand for it…
Just realised I hadn’t listened to one of the discs Alex gave to me recently (part of a plan for some of us at work to pass round samples of our favourite music to each other to broaden our horizons). And what’s lurking in there but a funky beat version of Ron Grainer’s Doctor Who theme! Heheheheh. Nice one and very appropriate in this 40th anniversary year of our favourite Time Lord - 40 years in November, can you believe it? Can you believe how long the BBC have left it off air despite a huge international audience for it and huge sales of videos, DVDs, books and other merchandising? A short animated series last year on BBC-I website drew in hundreds of thousands of visitors in a few days yet the BBC still say there is no demand for it…
Reading 2
Just finished the disturbing but informative How to Build a Nuclear Bomb And Other Weapons of Mass Destruction by Frank Barnaby. Amazing how many of the chemical weapons inventory were developed by I G Farben in Germany during the 30s and 40s… A good primer for folk to cut through all the media scare stories and government spin.
Also on the science front just finished The Back Room Boys, due in November, by the author of The Child that Books Built. It’s a loving tribute to the Great British Boffin, from the pipe-smoking boffins designing space rockets in an old shed on the Isle of Wight in the 50s through the computer revolution (the teenage geeks who designed the groundbreaking Elite game, which I remember so well) through to the fantastic contribution of British science to the Human Genome project - especially in keeping it away from smeggers like Craig Venter who wanted to do it all privately and patent the whole thing. Step forward our plucky British Boffins! Patent the Book of Life? Not on their watch! Different technology and a whole new science but arguably the same spirit. A wonderful read.
Now it’s time to turn my attention to my latest goodie to come from the lovely Nicola at Gollancz (thanks, Nic), the new Robert Silverberg novel Roma Eterna. An alternative history in which Rome never fell, but is still divided between Rome and Constantinople as it was in our history. Only 100 pages in so far but bloody good as you’d except from Sivlerberg. In the meantime my lunch-time reading is by my chum at HarperCollins, Jane Johnson, writing under her Jude Fisher name. The second in her fab fantasy series, Fool’s Gold. Earthy humour (one character cursed with an eternal boner - you don't get this with Pratchett or Gemmell!), epic sweep and strong female characters, this is wonderful writing and I look forward to Ariel’s review of it.
Just finished the disturbing but informative How to Build a Nuclear Bomb And Other Weapons of Mass Destruction by Frank Barnaby. Amazing how many of the chemical weapons inventory were developed by I G Farben in Germany during the 30s and 40s… A good primer for folk to cut through all the media scare stories and government spin.
Also on the science front just finished The Back Room Boys, due in November, by the author of The Child that Books Built. It’s a loving tribute to the Great British Boffin, from the pipe-smoking boffins designing space rockets in an old shed on the Isle of Wight in the 50s through the computer revolution (the teenage geeks who designed the groundbreaking Elite game, which I remember so well) through to the fantastic contribution of British science to the Human Genome project - especially in keeping it away from smeggers like Craig Venter who wanted to do it all privately and patent the whole thing. Step forward our plucky British Boffins! Patent the Book of Life? Not on their watch! Different technology and a whole new science but arguably the same spirit. A wonderful read.
Now it’s time to turn my attention to my latest goodie to come from the lovely Nicola at Gollancz (thanks, Nic), the new Robert Silverberg novel Roma Eterna. An alternative history in which Rome never fell, but is still divided between Rome and Constantinople as it was in our history. Only 100 pages in so far but bloody good as you’d except from Sivlerberg. In the meantime my lunch-time reading is by my chum at HarperCollins, Jane Johnson, writing under her Jude Fisher name. The second in her fab fantasy series, Fool’s Gold. Earthy humour (one character cursed with an eternal boner - you don't get this with Pratchett or Gemmell!), epic sweep and strong female characters, this is wonderful writing and I look forward to Ariel’s review of it.
Thursday, September 11, 2003
Reading
Well, we had the first meeting of the SF Book Reading Club at our branch of Waterstone’s this week. Our esteemed events and marketing manager for Scotland didn’t actually get the fliers printed until a week before the meeting and also forgot to out it in the events diary, so the only folk who knew about it had to find out in-store. As a result we had only half a dozen people, a little disappointing. That said the actual hour went very quickly and enjoyably - being a small group meant that everyone got a chance to put in their opinion, which is what Alex and I were hoping for. No awkward pauses, once we started everyone had something to contribute. We were discussing Richard Morgan’s excellent Altered Carbon and managed to go from the morality of noir-style violence, the impact of cloning and memory transference technology and somehow ended up on Emmerdale Farm and other soap opera for some reason. Never let it be said our discussions were not diverse and wide-ranging!
Well, despite the numbers we were pretty pleased how it went and are hoping to build on this for the next meeting in October where we’re going to discuss Richard Mattheson’s I am Legend. We’ll give the group idea another couple of bashes and see if the support and interest rises. This also means we’ll have to bash Matthew and Ian over the head and drag them along to the next one as well. Geeks of the world unite.
Well, we had the first meeting of the SF Book Reading Club at our branch of Waterstone’s this week. Our esteemed events and marketing manager for Scotland didn’t actually get the fliers printed until a week before the meeting and also forgot to out it in the events diary, so the only folk who knew about it had to find out in-store. As a result we had only half a dozen people, a little disappointing. That said the actual hour went very quickly and enjoyably - being a small group meant that everyone got a chance to put in their opinion, which is what Alex and I were hoping for. No awkward pauses, once we started everyone had something to contribute. We were discussing Richard Morgan’s excellent Altered Carbon and managed to go from the morality of noir-style violence, the impact of cloning and memory transference technology and somehow ended up on Emmerdale Farm and other soap opera for some reason. Never let it be said our discussions were not diverse and wide-ranging!
Well, despite the numbers we were pretty pleased how it went and are hoping to build on this for the next meeting in October where we’re going to discuss Richard Mattheson’s I am Legend. We’ll give the group idea another couple of bashes and see if the support and interest rises. This also means we’ll have to bash Matthew and Ian over the head and drag them along to the next one as well. Geeks of the world unite.
Caledonian Atlantis
Watching Great Books on Discovery recently, covering Jules Verne’s fantastic classic 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea (the title actually relates to the length of the globe-trotting journey, not the depth). A book I first read as a young boy and one that was always at the back of my mind when watching films by Jacques Cousteau. Some of it I knew already - Verne predicting the self-contained aqualung, submersibles travelling beneath the polar ice sheets.
Some I didn’t actually know that were of particular interest to me, such as the fact that on a holiday to Scotland Verne climbed Arthur’s Seat, an extinct volcano right here in the heart of Edinburgh. Resting on the summit he looked out over the city of Edinburgh, spread across and surrounded by hills. Watching the sunlight hit some of the neo-Classical buildings from his volcanic heights Verne found his model for his description of Atlantis. Later on a walk along the coast he was lost in the sea mist. He was invited into a large country mansion. Warming himself in the sumptuous interior he found the room he would model Nemo’s plus study on.
And Nemo himself? This ‘science pirate’ with the mysterious, revolutionary, unknown past. Entering Edinburgh Castle he paused to read the Latin motto above the gates - no-one injures me with impunity. No-one in Latin? Nemo - no-one. The dark, enigmatic figure with no discernable past upon whom we are free as readers to project our own fantasies. And of course, a century after his book the first nuclear powered submarine became the first ship to reach the North Pole by cruising beneath the solid ice, just as Nemo had in the Southern Polar Regions. The name of the vessel? The Nautilus.
Watching Great Books on Discovery recently, covering Jules Verne’s fantastic classic 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea (the title actually relates to the length of the globe-trotting journey, not the depth). A book I first read as a young boy and one that was always at the back of my mind when watching films by Jacques Cousteau. Some of it I knew already - Verne predicting the self-contained aqualung, submersibles travelling beneath the polar ice sheets.
Some I didn’t actually know that were of particular interest to me, such as the fact that on a holiday to Scotland Verne climbed Arthur’s Seat, an extinct volcano right here in the heart of Edinburgh. Resting on the summit he looked out over the city of Edinburgh, spread across and surrounded by hills. Watching the sunlight hit some of the neo-Classical buildings from his volcanic heights Verne found his model for his description of Atlantis. Later on a walk along the coast he was lost in the sea mist. He was invited into a large country mansion. Warming himself in the sumptuous interior he found the room he would model Nemo’s plus study on.
And Nemo himself? This ‘science pirate’ with the mysterious, revolutionary, unknown past. Entering Edinburgh Castle he paused to read the Latin motto above the gates - no-one injures me with impunity. No-one in Latin? Nemo - no-one. The dark, enigmatic figure with no discernable past upon whom we are free as readers to project our own fantasies. And of course, a century after his book the first nuclear powered submarine became the first ship to reach the North Pole by cruising beneath the solid ice, just as Nemo had in the Southern Polar Regions. The name of the vessel? The Nautilus.
Sunday, September 7, 2003
Nose to the grindstone
Found this on the 'week in pictures' section of the BBC-I news page. Perfromance artist Mark McGowan is pushing a monkey nut several miles to Downing Street using his nose to protest student debt. Years since graduation and some of us still struggle with this and goodness knows how the current crop of undergrads will manage.
Found this on the 'week in pictures' section of the BBC-I news page. Perfromance artist Mark McGowan is pushing a monkey nut several miles to Downing Street using his nose to protest student debt. Years since graduation and some of us still struggle with this and goodness knows how the current crop of undergrads will manage.
United we stand?
The UNited Nations is a uselss talking shop. We have no respect for it's authority and ignore the policies and wishes of the council members. Oh shit, we've made such an arse of the occupation and have our troops sucked into a morass with no way out... Gee, we're keen members of the international community and think it would be just swell if some of the cute little members of the United Nations contributed thousands of troops to help our arse out the fire we made, despite the fact we pretty much told you all to take a flying fuck to yourselves only a few arrogant months ago. Isn't i peculair how keen they Bush administration suddenly is on the United Nations now they have themselves sucked into a desert version of Vietnam?
Excerpted from the Great Handbook of American Foreign Policy
The UNited Nations is a uselss talking shop. We have no respect for it's authority and ignore the policies and wishes of the council members. Oh shit, we've made such an arse of the occupation and have our troops sucked into a morass with no way out... Gee, we're keen members of the international community and think it would be just swell if some of the cute little members of the United Nations contributed thousands of troops to help our arse out the fire we made, despite the fact we pretty much told you all to take a flying fuck to yourselves only a few arrogant months ago. Isn't i peculair how keen they Bush administration suddenly is on the United Nations now they have themselves sucked into a desert version of Vietnam?
Excerpted from the Great Handbook of American Foreign Policy
Saturday, September 6, 2003
Good guys win
Hong Kong - for once the good guys have won. The Chinese have been trying to bring in controversial new legislation to limit personal freedoms and help curtail those pesky people who insist on their right to protest. As we all know the normal Chinese method of dealing with protestors is ro run a tank over them. However the former British colony brings in so much investment to Red China they have to tread carefully, besides being treaty obligated to respect certain rights when they took Hong Kong back from Britain. Unfortunately for them, whatever the ills of Britisj imperial rule, it did leave the former colony with a sense of civil liberties, due process and personal freedoms under law. Now that'a a nicer legacy to leave than some of the imperial past - witness the HK legislators having to back down to the protestors. Go the good guys for once.
Hong Kong - for once the good guys have won. The Chinese have been trying to bring in controversial new legislation to limit personal freedoms and help curtail those pesky people who insist on their right to protest. As we all know the normal Chinese method of dealing with protestors is ro run a tank over them. However the former British colony brings in so much investment to Red China they have to tread carefully, besides being treaty obligated to respect certain rights when they took Hong Kong back from Britain. Unfortunately for them, whatever the ills of Britisj imperial rule, it did leave the former colony with a sense of civil liberties, due process and personal freedoms under law. Now that'a a nicer legacy to leave than some of the imperial past - witness the HK legislators having to back down to the protestors. Go the good guys for once.
Il PENGUINO TO CHALLENGE DAVID BLAINE
Tired of being force-fed his constant, self-aggrandising, shamelessly self promotional gimmicky stunts on television, one of the Magic Tricycle’s leading luminaries, Il Penguin Mysteriouso is to upstage David Blaine by making the tireless self promoting one the subject of his next great magic trick.
“Blaine used to perform some cool illusions and magic tricks, but now he is performing meaningless stunts which have nothing to do with either entertainment or magic. He has plugged shamelessly into the modern televisual desire for supposedly real television experiences that actually accomplish and mean nothing,” explained Il Penguino. “Once upon a time P.T. Barnum and the Great Houdini also pushed their PR relentlessly to promote their image - but at least they were performing fantastic, breath-taking, highly intricate acts at the same time, not sitting in a block of ice, having a flag pole up your arse for days or being locked in with no food (is it just me or is this in bad taste given the number of folk who starve to death in our world each year?). “
At a press conference timed for the opening weekend of Blaine’s latest stunt Il Penguino informed the gathered press that he intended to stage one of the most impressive magical illusions in history at the Las Vegas Sleazorama - he will attempt to make David Blain’s ego disappear before the astonished crowds. If successful it will go down as one of the greatest stage illusions in magical history. He was asked what he would do next if he was succe3ssful - where would he go from up? One journalist suggested he could create the illusion that Gorge Bush wasn’t a greedy, self-serving tool of big industry, but Il Penguino laughed and said even a great magician had his limits. More as we get it, stay tuned to the Gazette.
Tired of being force-fed his constant, self-aggrandising, shamelessly self promotional gimmicky stunts on television, one of the Magic Tricycle’s leading luminaries, Il Penguin Mysteriouso is to upstage David Blaine by making the tireless self promoting one the subject of his next great magic trick.
“Blaine used to perform some cool illusions and magic tricks, but now he is performing meaningless stunts which have nothing to do with either entertainment or magic. He has plugged shamelessly into the modern televisual desire for supposedly real television experiences that actually accomplish and mean nothing,” explained Il Penguino. “Once upon a time P.T. Barnum and the Great Houdini also pushed their PR relentlessly to promote their image - but at least they were performing fantastic, breath-taking, highly intricate acts at the same time, not sitting in a block of ice, having a flag pole up your arse for days or being locked in with no food (is it just me or is this in bad taste given the number of folk who starve to death in our world each year?). “
At a press conference timed for the opening weekend of Blaine’s latest stunt Il Penguino informed the gathered press that he intended to stage one of the most impressive magical illusions in history at the Las Vegas Sleazorama - he will attempt to make David Blain’s ego disappear before the astonished crowds. If successful it will go down as one of the greatest stage illusions in magical history. He was asked what he would do next if he was succe3ssful - where would he go from up? One journalist suggested he could create the illusion that Gorge Bush wasn’t a greedy, self-serving tool of big industry, but Il Penguino laughed and said even a great magician had his limits. More as we get it, stay tuned to the Gazette.
New vampire hunters use lawyers instead of stakes.
White Wolf and Nancy Collins, long-time vampire writer, are apparently going to sue the Sony and the others behind the forthcoming vampire Blade meets the Crow flick Underworld, starring the gorgeous Kate Beckinsale (as discussed here recently). White Wolf and Collins allege massive numbers of similarities to White Wolf’s Vampire the Masquerade game and some short fiction of Collins. The director claims the film is really Romeo and Juliet with vampires and werewolves (and tight leather pants). If Ms Beckinsale would like to come round to my apartment and explain it all to me over a bottle of fine single malt I am available. Purely to get the scoop for readers of the Gazette and Alien Online of course.
White Wolf and Nancy Collins, long-time vampire writer, are apparently going to sue the Sony and the others behind the forthcoming vampire Blade meets the Crow flick Underworld, starring the gorgeous Kate Beckinsale (as discussed here recently). White Wolf and Collins allege massive numbers of similarities to White Wolf’s Vampire the Masquerade game and some short fiction of Collins. The director claims the film is really Romeo and Juliet with vampires and werewolves (and tight leather pants). If Ms Beckinsale would like to come round to my apartment and explain it all to me over a bottle of fine single malt I am available. Purely to get the scoop for readers of the Gazette and Alien Online of course.
NoRMaL seRvIcE wIlL bE rESuMeD
Still feeling pretty damned down, but will attempt to restore some sort of normal operating service viz a viz cheeky bullshit mixed liberally with actual facts. Plus I found a toy rubber bat at work today, so that was pretty neat. His wings flap if you shake him just right. He will go very well with my other bats and my skull at home. I shall call him Boswell the Bat.
Still feeling pretty damned down, but will attempt to restore some sort of normal operating service viz a viz cheeky bullshit mixed liberally with actual facts. Plus I found a toy rubber bat at work today, so that was pretty neat. His wings flap if you shake him just right. He will go very well with my other bats and my skull at home. I shall call him Boswell the Bat.
Tuesday, September 2, 2003
Fuck it all
Stuck in an incredibly unsatisfying job, every attempt to secure a new one shot down in a blaze of constant disappointment time after time, struggling endlessly with bills because of piss-poor pay and now I find out the girl I have a huge crush on has been going out with someone I used to work with for several weeks. The usual questions - why him? Why not me? What has he got that I haven’t? Why does thi happen so often? Does the universe enjoy torturing me by raising false hopes then shattering them?
Gee, ain’t life sweet? Looking around at existence - pointless, meaningless, empty, solitary - is this it? Is this all there is going to be? Is this all there is to look forward to? 30 or 40 more years of this rolling wave of depression and disillusion grinding you down until the end? Is it worth it? Is there any real point to it? No wonder so many people just give in and finish it, I know exactly how they feel. You try to tell yourself it will get better, but hell I told myself that years back and it hasn’t. Actually it has gotten worse. If this is all there is ever going to be I really don’t want it, I’m sick of it and the thought of decades more of it crushing down on what little hopes I have left is unbearable.
I try to remind myself of the words of the late Bill Hicks, “it’s just a ride - remember it’s just a ride.” I try the think on the all the things you have to be thankful for schtick, but it comes up way short. I’m tired of trying to make it better year after dreadful year, hoping it will get better when it never fucking does. I’m even sick of feeling this maudlin self-pitying bullshit too. I’m sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. Booze and self-mutilation don’t dull the pain. What is the cure for cancer of the soul?
Stuck in an incredibly unsatisfying job, every attempt to secure a new one shot down in a blaze of constant disappointment time after time, struggling endlessly with bills because of piss-poor pay and now I find out the girl I have a huge crush on has been going out with someone I used to work with for several weeks. The usual questions - why him? Why not me? What has he got that I haven’t? Why does thi happen so often? Does the universe enjoy torturing me by raising false hopes then shattering them?
Gee, ain’t life sweet? Looking around at existence - pointless, meaningless, empty, solitary - is this it? Is this all there is going to be? Is this all there is to look forward to? 30 or 40 more years of this rolling wave of depression and disillusion grinding you down until the end? Is it worth it? Is there any real point to it? No wonder so many people just give in and finish it, I know exactly how they feel. You try to tell yourself it will get better, but hell I told myself that years back and it hasn’t. Actually it has gotten worse. If this is all there is ever going to be I really don’t want it, I’m sick of it and the thought of decades more of it crushing down on what little hopes I have left is unbearable.
I try to remind myself of the words of the late Bill Hicks, “it’s just a ride - remember it’s just a ride.” I try the think on the all the things you have to be thankful for schtick, but it comes up way short. I’m tired of trying to make it better year after dreadful year, hoping it will get better when it never fucking does. I’m even sick of feeling this maudlin self-pitying bullshit too. I’m sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. Booze and self-mutilation don’t dull the pain. What is the cure for cancer of the soul?
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