Books for kids

B3TA has a competition for alternative self-help books for kids, some of which are just rude while others are rude and funny. Having sold more than a few of the real books these are riffing on some of them really tickled me, especially since at least 2/3 of these bloody awful self help books are a useless bunch of utter wank scribbled by unqualified people and flogged to someone desperate to tell them what to do so they don't need to think themselves. Okay, there are a few which are actually useful and good, but the vast bulk are designed to shear money from idiots.