Talent shows

It is a bit depressing to me that two of the highest rated shows on UK TV the last few weekends have been talent shows: Strictly Come Dancing on the Beeb and X-Factor on ITV. One lot of amateurs and professionals competing in ballroom dancing, week after week while on the other a panel of snide judges belittle a bunch of wannabe pop stars (like we need to encourage any more talentless pop stars). Is it just me being cynical (who, me?) or is this the sort of exercise you expect at some old Hi-De-Hi style holiday camp? However, they pulled in many millions of viewers, so what next to keep pulling in those goggle-eyed boob-tube watchers? Well, we all know skin sells, so perhaps the next natural step for these talent shows will be:

The Sex Factor; hopeful amateurs line up each week to perform a variety of hardcore sexual acts in the hope of winning through to the grand final and a contract with a major adult entertainment, becoming major porno stars. The BBC counters with Stricly Cum Fencing in which the trickiest part of pornographic films is covered as one hopeful amateur is paired with one professional as they try to create a variety of inventive 'money shots'.

And before you all groan and say what a dirty minded little sod I am, yes I know (and let's be honest, most of you too are, you just don't admit it as much!). And also I would ask to to consider that the above is a little jest, but in parts of the Japanese or Italian cable media they may very well already be real shows...