Whatever happened to manners?
Walking home on a cold but sunny spring evening from work I paused at a busy road to wait for a break in the traffic. Rush hour with cars whizzing past and pedestrians stalking along, eyes down, pushing past other equally ignorant pedestrians. Standing a few feet from me as I wait is a woman in her 20s tapping her white cane against the kerbside. She was quite obviously requiring a wee hand yet everyone passed her by. I asked if she wanted some assitance and helped her across the road, wondering how long she'd had to wait for someone to offer.
And I wondered just how we've ended up with a society where most folk wouldn't even think to pause for a moment and help a blind person across a busy street. Is it the same kind of selfish mentality that leads folk to shove through shop doors and let them swing shut behind them without looking rather than pause, look back, hold the door ajar for anyone behind you? The ignorant, selfish sense that leads folk to ignore their elderly neighbours struggling up the stairs of the tenement with heavy shopping? The same selfish outlook that lead a rich woman with her children in a huge Mercedes to drive right through the pedstrian crossing at Haymarket this morning, while the green man was on and people crossing?
We do seem to becoming increasingly selfish and mannerless and it seems to me to be endemic, spread across all age groups and social classes. With examples like the Merc-driving woman shoving across the crossing like a panzer I'm moved to wonder just how horribly rude and arrogant her children (sitting in the car on the school run) will be when they grow up. When I was very young I vividly remember my dad pulling over the car on the way into Glasgow. He had seen a blind man trying to cross the road and he pulled over the car, got out, helped the man across, came back, got into the car and continued on our way. Neither he or my mum said anything to me - they didn't lecture me on proper behaviour or anything like that; this lesson was far more effective and one I've never forgotten.
Perhaps I'm being old-fashioned but I tend to think good manners and being able to offer a wee hand to others rubs off and encourages others to do the same, make the world a wee bit better. When everyone acts selfishlessly it has a similar effect. I think I know which example I prefer. It's a sad day when folk become so unwilling to offer a hand to another.
Seriously, and I live the city made famous for it. If that lady was here, she'd probably be waiting for a very long time. Until a tourist couple from the midwest came by.
ReplyDeleteI had a similar experience today. I was driving to work and about to turn a corner when I noticed a foreign gentleman walking towards the curb and into my path. I looked at him as I approached and he just stepped out in front of me like he owned the road! Then he stuck his thumb up just to rub it in - I tooted my horn and he swore at me! He could have been killed if someone else had been driving my car. Pedestrians are becoming more selfish and risking the lives of not only themselves but the drivers who would naturally have to take drastic action to avoid hitting them or, if they had hit them live with the consequences despite the fact that it wasnt their fault.
ReplyDeleteAhh yes, such is life. But how old do we have to get to be before we notice such things?
ReplyDeleteFrom a slighlty different angle: I now live in a 'foreign' country (Belgium), but haven't grasp the language sufficiently, so many converse with me with a mixture containing English words.
Anyhow, not long ago at work, a lady referred to me as an attentive man. Well, I would refer to it as a tendency to act positively upon observations.
The "attentive" comment was made in English, but I had to wait till I got home to find out what such a comment is interpreted as in Belgium, given that I know it to have 3 possiblities
1) Doormat or servile for having a tendancy to behave in such a way;(helpful)
2) Chauvinist pig... for having behaved thus towards a woman.
3) Someone with a tendency to note what's happening and act accordingly with team spirit.
Apparantly it's nummer 3.
Whew!
Ooh, don't get me started. Ah, too late:
ReplyDeleteCyclists who insist on cycling either on the pavement to avoid the traffic lights (or just go through them regardless) or (my personal favourite) cycle the WRONG WAY IN A ONE WAY STREET. You shouldn't need to look the OTHER way in a one way street (with no discernable traffic / parked cars) when crossing just in case some idiot is taking a shortcut. A reversing truck you know about. A freewheeling iPodHead you just can't hear.
Clumps of women who walk three abreast on a pavement not really wide enough for two rabbiting to each other and force you to dive into the road to get around them (normally when a car is coming from behind you).
Associated idiots who decide that looking in a shop window is far better when done from the opposite side of the pavement, so stop dead in their tracks necessitating a dodge just like above, rather than actually moving closer to the window in question and freeing up the thoroughfare.
More idiots who decide that stopping at the top / bottom of an escalator or immediately inside / outside a doorway is a fantastic idea. And they always do it right in front of YOU, not someone else, like you've got a SEP (Somebody Else's Problem) field around you.
All the above who can clearly see you're carrying something 1)big, 2)heavy and / or 3)awkward and do their damnedest to collide with you / force you to take a different route.
Truly stupid people who stand at the front of a queue point for a bus that they have no intention of boarding as they're waiting for the next one that goes somewhere else. Bus arrives, stops in front of them and they stay put forcing all passengers (embarking AND disembarking) to squeeze around them.
Wait... it's not bad manners really, it's pure ignorance.
In a lot of countries I have visited pedestrians always have the right of way. So traffic has to stop if they step into the road. This seemed to work well in Canada, not so well in South America.
ReplyDeleteI SO agree about the cyclists. I cycle myself, and always stop at traffic lights etc. I thought I was going mad the first time I spotted a cyclist going the wrong way up a One Way street but I tell you, in Reading, make sure you look both ways even if the street is One Way. It will save you from getting seriously injured.
ReplyDeleteselfishlessly isn't even a word... look it up
ReplyDelete