The International Flag Conspiracy
A number of people, watching 'outraged' Muslims burning Danish flags this last week (I use outraged advisedly since they were so outraged by Denmark they attacked EU buildings and American airbases, so a cynical person may think they just felt like having a good old riot about anything that came along) have asked the obvious question of where the hell did all these Danish flags appear from in Beirut, Tehran, Damascus and the fine desert oasis of Camelcrack?
The intrepid Woolamaloo team have been investigating and unearthed some startling conclusions. We think it is a conspiracy by the shadowy conglomerates behind the international flag industry. It runs from the local scale, such as the Beirut Flag, Petroluem and Matches wholesale company to the huge corporations who manufacture the world's flags. Demand in the Middle East for the Stars and Stripes has exceeded all possible supplies since George W Bush's re-election. However, the secretive international flag merchants have warehouses full of the national flags of many nations who have rarely, if ever, offended a Muslim (admittedly a list which is getting smaller every day almost, since it now looks almost as if talking about Islam being offended about something is actually offensive too...).
The flag conglomerates, working though political lobbyists, PR agents and media connections, in conjunction with their local Middle Eastern wholesalers, analyse their unsold flag reserve stock and compare it against countries unpopular in Muslim regions, before using their contacts to create a scenario which will soon embroil the country with the largest number of unsold flags to become the new target for the latest two minue hate. Sales of US and British flags have reached saturation point, plus they can't keep up with demand, so now they can offload vast amounts of unsold Danish flags and grow new markets at the same time. Some major reference publishers and globe-makers who are controlled by the international flag conglomerate are also in on this, as fundamentalists worldwide require access to information on the flags of the world so they can order the correct flag to go with their matches and petrol.
Like all large conspiracies this may seem fantastical at first, but considering the world is in a ferment over a cartoon and George Bush suddenly can reveal about a dangerous terrorist attack thwarted by intelligence several years ago magically a couple of days after he came under attack for the illegal wiretaps on American citizens (which he totally denied previously, stating such taps could only happen with judicial oversight) and suddenly it becomes easier to believe.
Meantime it is a shame that Muslims are boycotting Danish goods and also forbidden from eating pork, as otherwise they could cook some great bacon sarnies over the burning flags and wash it down with some cool, refreshing Danish lager, make it a proper barbie, perhaps relax them a little. How few of these poor fundamentalists know that they are not being manipulated by angry Imans, Bin Liner, Areshole Hamza or the scripture of the Koran but by the secret cabal of international flag manufacturers?
Saturday, February 11, 2006
Thursday, February 9, 2006
Animated
Hurrah - Wallace and Gromit sweeps the board at the Annies awards! Details and link posted over on the FPI blog. And since we're on the animation subject I found this site via Boing Boing. It is home to some fabulous computer animations from Ron Fedkiw at Stanford. The water animations are especially astonishing.
Award-Winning Books
Well, award short-listed at any rate (although several of the authors listed here are award winners for previous works). The Arthur C Clarke and the BSFA (British Science Fiction Association) awards shortlists both came out recently. They are the pre-eminent literary awards for SF published in the UK, but most of the regular booktrade and media tend to ignore them, although they spend plenty of time on just about every other book award. Well, more fool them - they are missing on good sales and their customers on good books. My online colleagues and I just finished putting together some display pages on the FPI site to promote the nominees, so if you are looking for something good to pick up, have a look - again there are more details and links over here on the FPI blog ("here's a blog I posted earlier"!).
Hurrah - Wallace and Gromit sweeps the board at the Annies awards! Details and link posted over on the FPI blog. And since we're on the animation subject I found this site via Boing Boing. It is home to some fabulous computer animations from Ron Fedkiw at Stanford. The water animations are especially astonishing.
Award-Winning Books
Well, award short-listed at any rate (although several of the authors listed here are award winners for previous works). The Arthur C Clarke and the BSFA (British Science Fiction Association) awards shortlists both came out recently. They are the pre-eminent literary awards for SF published in the UK, but most of the regular booktrade and media tend to ignore them, although they spend plenty of time on just about every other book award. Well, more fool them - they are missing on good sales and their customers on good books. My online colleagues and I just finished putting together some display pages on the FPI site to promote the nominees, so if you are looking for something good to pick up, have a look - again there are more details and links over here on the FPI blog ("here's a blog I posted earlier"!).
Monday, February 6, 2006
2005 - movies
Before recent events overtook my life for a while I was thinking about going through some of my ‘best of the year’ type of thing for 2005, so belatedly here are a few selections.
Cinema
The Edinburgh International Film Festival was, as usual, one of my standout movie events of the year. It was also the first week off I had taken in my new job (which I will need to stop referring to as ‘new’ since next week will mark my first full year at FPI) and I used my Cineworld pass to get plenty of special prices deals for the Film Fest.
Absolutely bowled over with the screening of MirrorMask, which just oozed charm, imagination and style on a budget, unbelievably of around £2 million, but then again it did come from one of my favourite collaborative teams of Dave McKean and Neil Gaiman. The Film Fest screening had Dave himself there to talk after the movie which was a huge bonus. Still think Sony are idiots for not giving it a proper release (eventually limited in the US and some form of limited UK release to come). The DVD comes out soon in the US and I was tempted to order it as an import, but a warning on Amazon states that some Sony DVDs have software on them to inhibit playing on a multi-region machine, so perhaps I’ll wait.
Looking back at my August entry the other movie which most impressed me at the Film Festival was a little British fantasy gem from half a century ago, part of the Powell retrospective, A Matter of Life and Death with an impossibly young David Niven as the Lancaster pilot. I’ve watched this most unusual movie of the war, love, life and the afterlife on TV before but never on the big screen. In a quite beautiful moment a surprise guest was brought forward before the screening, Mr Jack Cardiff, the man who had actually lensed the film half a century ago and had worked on more of the most gorgeous films, British or otherwise, of that period, including The Red Shoes -a quite magical moment before a magical film.
I still swear that Jack became younger as he talked about these films; perhaps the luminous beauty and spirit of them rejuvenated him or perhaps it was the fact that he was standing in front of a sell-out audience at the biggest arts festival in the world and these folks had all come to see a movie he had shot 50 years before. In a related story, Moira Shearer, the actress and ballerina who played the main role in the Red Shoes passed away only last week at the age of 80. She was utterly enchanting in that movie and if you ever get a chance to see it on the big screen, grab it.
It seems unlikely that a film of marionettes would be one of my favourite movie experiences of 2005, but Strings entangled me in a web of breathtaking artistry, beauty and enchantment. Years to make and taking an army of puppeteers, it was one of the most unusual and utterly ravishing films I’ve seen in a long time and one I really need to get myself on DVD at some point. My ramblings about it are back here in May’s archive.
Actually 2005 was a good year for more traditional forms of animation, from the puppetry of Strings to the wonder of Miyazaki with Howl’s Moving Castle and of course our own Aardman Animation with a feature length Wallace and Gromit movie, both of which go straight into my favourite films of 2005 (can Miyazaki do any wrong?).
The Rage In Placid Lake was a very quirky, cool, weird little Indy movie from Australia, a nice take on the old adage of kids usually growing up to be the opposite of their parents (the part where his hippy parents are shocked at their son taking on an ordinary office job is terrific). And I almost forgot about Pierre Jeunet’s A Very Long Engagement, which, along with Audrey Tautou’s magnificent smile, cheered me up last January when I was unemployed and feeling less than on top of the world.
I’m sure I’m missing something out there that I meant to put in, but that’s always the way with these sorts of things, isn’t it? Rather than go into them here I’ve tried to put some links into what I wrote at the time about them. I’ll need to think on some of my best book picks from last year for a future article. Feel free to add your own personal favourite films from last year (at which point I‘ll probably realise some of the movies I missed out).
Before recent events overtook my life for a while I was thinking about going through some of my ‘best of the year’ type of thing for 2005, so belatedly here are a few selections.
Cinema
The Edinburgh International Film Festival was, as usual, one of my standout movie events of the year. It was also the first week off I had taken in my new job (which I will need to stop referring to as ‘new’ since next week will mark my first full year at FPI) and I used my Cineworld pass to get plenty of special prices deals for the Film Fest.
Absolutely bowled over with the screening of MirrorMask, which just oozed charm, imagination and style on a budget, unbelievably of around £2 million, but then again it did come from one of my favourite collaborative teams of Dave McKean and Neil Gaiman. The Film Fest screening had Dave himself there to talk after the movie which was a huge bonus. Still think Sony are idiots for not giving it a proper release (eventually limited in the US and some form of limited UK release to come). The DVD comes out soon in the US and I was tempted to order it as an import, but a warning on Amazon states that some Sony DVDs have software on them to inhibit playing on a multi-region machine, so perhaps I’ll wait.
Looking back at my August entry the other movie which most impressed me at the Film Festival was a little British fantasy gem from half a century ago, part of the Powell retrospective, A Matter of Life and Death with an impossibly young David Niven as the Lancaster pilot. I’ve watched this most unusual movie of the war, love, life and the afterlife on TV before but never on the big screen. In a quite beautiful moment a surprise guest was brought forward before the screening, Mr Jack Cardiff, the man who had actually lensed the film half a century ago and had worked on more of the most gorgeous films, British or otherwise, of that period, including The Red Shoes -a quite magical moment before a magical film.
I still swear that Jack became younger as he talked about these films; perhaps the luminous beauty and spirit of them rejuvenated him or perhaps it was the fact that he was standing in front of a sell-out audience at the biggest arts festival in the world and these folks had all come to see a movie he had shot 50 years before. In a related story, Moira Shearer, the actress and ballerina who played the main role in the Red Shoes passed away only last week at the age of 80. She was utterly enchanting in that movie and if you ever get a chance to see it on the big screen, grab it.
It seems unlikely that a film of marionettes would be one of my favourite movie experiences of 2005, but Strings entangled me in a web of breathtaking artistry, beauty and enchantment. Years to make and taking an army of puppeteers, it was one of the most unusual and utterly ravishing films I’ve seen in a long time and one I really need to get myself on DVD at some point. My ramblings about it are back here in May’s archive.
Actually 2005 was a good year for more traditional forms of animation, from the puppetry of Strings to the wonder of Miyazaki with Howl’s Moving Castle and of course our own Aardman Animation with a feature length Wallace and Gromit movie, both of which go straight into my favourite films of 2005 (can Miyazaki do any wrong?).
The Rage In Placid Lake was a very quirky, cool, weird little Indy movie from Australia, a nice take on the old adage of kids usually growing up to be the opposite of their parents (the part where his hippy parents are shocked at their son taking on an ordinary office job is terrific). And I almost forgot about Pierre Jeunet’s A Very Long Engagement, which, along with Audrey Tautou’s magnificent smile, cheered me up last January when I was unemployed and feeling less than on top of the world.
I’m sure I’m missing something out there that I meant to put in, but that’s always the way with these sorts of things, isn’t it? Rather than go into them here I’ve tried to put some links into what I wrote at the time about them. I’ll need to think on some of my best book picks from last year for a future article. Feel free to add your own personal favourite films from last year (at which point I‘ll probably realise some of the movies I missed out).
Sunday, February 5, 2006
Insulting cultures
One of my friends, talking about the whole cartoon-Islam thing pointed out that Muslim nations are saying it is an insult to Islam and Islamic culture, yet those same groups are regualrly seen burning flags, especially American ones, which Americans would count as highly insulting to their culture, yet they don't make apologies for that. Double standards perhaps? Certainly with all this flag burning in the Middle East I have to suspect that they must be contributing to global warming, which is damned irresponsible of them. I also have to conclude that there must be a fortune to make in flag sales in the Middle East, because they fairly go through them...
One of my friends, talking about the whole cartoon-Islam thing pointed out that Muslim nations are saying it is an insult to Islam and Islamic culture, yet those same groups are regualrly seen burning flags, especially American ones, which Americans would count as highly insulting to their culture, yet they don't make apologies for that. Double standards perhaps? Certainly with all this flag burning in the Middle East I have to suspect that they must be contributing to global warming, which is damned irresponsible of them. I also have to conclude that there must be a fortune to make in flag sales in the Middle East, because they fairly go through them...
Hoegbotton Book Sale
Most excellent author Jeff VanderMeer is struggling with a problem I know well, a truly delightful torture: having too many books. He's expecting a lot more now he's one of the judges on this year's Wolrd Fantasy awards and so is organising a sale - check out his blog on VanderWorld for details. In more Jeff related news I have been raving on about his new novel of Ambergris, Shriek: an Afterword. Rather than repeat a lot of what I've been saying, here's what I wrote on the FPI blogs last week about Shriek, which has only just come out in the UK (US readers get it later this month).
I have been eagerly waiting for Shriek for months and was totally taken with it; it is like sinking into a dream, full of metaphor and vibrant imagery, sometimes amusing, sometimes disturbing. Its my first Bloody Good Book recommendation for 2006 in fact; Jeff's previous book, a collection called City of Saints and Madmen is also highly recommended for anyone who wants a fascinating, well-written fantasy (it went down very well with folk in our Book Group). And for those of you who don't normally delve into fantasy, I still recommend Shriek - it is a very 'literary' (for want of a better term) novel of changing cities and relationships, quite beautiful and with haunting imagery, drawing on Bill Burroughs, Kafka, Borges, Poe and others.
On the new FPI website the individual sections generate their own bestseller lists on a regular basis, but I have been really pleased to see Shriek up there as our top seller with City of Saints usually coming second in the SF&F novels section - obviously the word is spreading, so you may want to read some Jeff VanderMeer now and get ahead of the masses.
Most excellent author Jeff VanderMeer is struggling with a problem I know well, a truly delightful torture: having too many books. He's expecting a lot more now he's one of the judges on this year's Wolrd Fantasy awards and so is organising a sale - check out his blog on VanderWorld for details. In more Jeff related news I have been raving on about his new novel of Ambergris, Shriek: an Afterword. Rather than repeat a lot of what I've been saying, here's what I wrote on the FPI blogs last week about Shriek, which has only just come out in the UK (US readers get it later this month).
I have been eagerly waiting for Shriek for months and was totally taken with it; it is like sinking into a dream, full of metaphor and vibrant imagery, sometimes amusing, sometimes disturbing. Its my first Bloody Good Book recommendation for 2006 in fact; Jeff's previous book, a collection called City of Saints and Madmen is also highly recommended for anyone who wants a fascinating, well-written fantasy (it went down very well with folk in our Book Group). And for those of you who don't normally delve into fantasy, I still recommend Shriek - it is a very 'literary' (for want of a better term) novel of changing cities and relationships, quite beautiful and with haunting imagery, drawing on Bill Burroughs, Kafka, Borges, Poe and others.
On the new FPI website the individual sections generate their own bestseller lists on a regular basis, but I have been really pleased to see Shriek up there as our top seller with City of Saints usually coming second in the SF&F novels section - obviously the word is spreading, so you may want to read some Jeff VanderMeer now and get ahead of the masses.
Munster
Sad news this weekend which I almost missed on a news full of burning embassies - Al Lewis, forever beloved to cult TV fans for playing the eldery vampire Grandpa in the Munsters show, passed away at the age of 95. I loved the Munsters and the Addams Family shows; I think it was this delightful mix of comedy with horror iconography, along with the campness of some of the later Vincent Price horrors re-screened on TV in the 70s and 80s lead me to the delightfully funny yet macabre cartoons of Edward Gorey. Today when I read Richard Moore's excellent Gothic comedy-romance Boneyard, or Roman Dirge's Lenore or any number of other similar titles I think about those shows and how they influenced - and still influence - my reading habits and how much enjoyment I've had from them all over the years.
Sad news this weekend which I almost missed on a news full of burning embassies - Al Lewis, forever beloved to cult TV fans for playing the eldery vampire Grandpa in the Munsters show, passed away at the age of 95. I loved the Munsters and the Addams Family shows; I think it was this delightful mix of comedy with horror iconography, along with the campness of some of the later Vincent Price horrors re-screened on TV in the 70s and 80s lead me to the delightfully funny yet macabre cartoons of Edward Gorey. Today when I read Richard Moore's excellent Gothic comedy-romance Boneyard, or Roman Dirge's Lenore or any number of other similar titles I think about those shows and how they influenced - and still influence - my reading habits and how much enjoyment I've had from them all over the years.
Saturday, February 4, 2006
Cartoon fun
Does anyone remember when cartoons were fun? Tom and Jerry, Bugs Bunny, the Simpsons, Steve Bell, R. Crumb… Cartoons, from the single frame topical cartoon in a newspaper to the comic strip through to animated cartoons on TV, film or the web. They entertain us, they make us laugh, the give us another way of exploring life, emotions and problems. They also have a proud history of being in the vanguard of satire. I consider satire to be one of the essential components to a free society; the ability to lampoon individuals in power, governments, associations and institutions is vital. In the West the satirical cartoons predates the establishment of full democracy in most European nations - witness the cartoon in Punch. It is an important part of our free and democratic society and a vital part of our culture.
The thing about satirical cartoons is that they are guaranteed to offend someone, be they a blustering, self-important politician, a greedy corporation or a spluttering, bigoted bishop. Most of us will find them funny and admire how the artist can create a jibe at some sacred cow with a few deft strokes of ink. The offended party may not like it but rarely burns down the embassies of other nations, threaten to hold EU citizens at gunpoint or march through London with placards calling for the cartoonists to be beheaded and for free speech to go to hell. The irony that these shag wits could only hold an impromptu demonstration in a civilised country with freedom of speech is obviously lost on them, as is the fact that they are given a tolerance and freedom of worship which most Muslim nations do not grant to other faiths visiting their lands (and forget about freedom of expression there - hey they don't even want you to have it in your country!).
The whole thing reminds me of the ridiculous posturing by certain Christian figures and their attacks on Monty Python’s Life of Brian when it first came out, decrying it as sick, offensive and blasphemous. Well, for a start, in a free society no institution should be above discussion or satire and that includes religion. If you feel your religion is threatened by a movie or a cartoon image then you obviously have a pretty weak faith; if you have true faith you’d shrug it off because you knew better than these capering clowns. If you are offended by cartoons, movies or books then don’t read or watch them! But do not tell the rest of us what we are allowed to say, draw or read. If you can’t live by those rules then you are in the wrong place and should perhaps consider living in a repressive nation governed by bigoted old men who like to pretend they are holy and govern by religious edicts and not law. See how far you get with a protest not sanctioned by the government then.
And if you are offended by these cartoons, well that’s a shame, but the rest of the world doesn’t feel constrained by the rules of your religion and you have to realise that. It has taken centuries for European nations to separate church from the law-making and governance of countries and we ain’t about to turn the clock back for anyone - we extend a welcome to all races and creeds but expect some respect for our ways in return. I am sick and tired of our politicians apologising to Muslim nations and mealy-mouthed platitudes about all cultures being equal etc. Not because I am racist - I can’t stand the BNP creeps and their friends who were in the news this week and who will make much hay from this nonsense, I'm afraid - but because it has for too long been a one-way street - the Muslim nations, most of which are repressive, non-democratic societies with appalling human rights records and their religious leaders do not grant us tolerance in return. Why not? This is our culture, being practised in our own continent. Don’t like it? Well, sorry, that’s a shame - grow a sense of humour why don’t you? The cartoons may not have been the most sensitive of things to publish but the reaction to them infuriates me - we’re insulting another culture. Well, what about our culture?
So if you are Muslim and upset, well sorry, but if you are going to get so upset over a bloody cartoon then presumably you will get upset over just about anything. Odd we don’t get buildings burned down when God or Buddha or various Hindu deities appear in the Simpsons. Portraying the Prophet may be offensive to Muslims, but to the rest of us it isn’t and we have no obligation to play by the rules of another person’s religion. And, as I say, if it offends you, then don’t look at it - no-one is made to read these things. Then again, I suspect most folk burning flags and embassies haven’t even seen the pictures, anymore than most of them read the Satanic Verses before burning it and issuing death threats on Salman Rushdie; Islam‘s response to criticism is less than mature. For a religion of peace it seems very easy to anger and very quick to move to violent means of censorship.
I have no respect for any religion but I do respect the rights of all citizens to practise their faith. However I expect rights to freedom of speech and expression to be respected in return and for them not to attempt to impose restrictions on me to comply with their faith. That also goes for Muslim governments who seem to think our governments in Europe should so something about this - news flash, guys, we are democracies. The governments, for once, are not responsible for this crisis and they have no right to censor the media. Unlike most Muslim nations of course, where editors can be imprisoned right away… Why Jack Straw thinks he has to apologise when the British media are largely uninvolved is beyond me - and anyway, surely he has more to apologise for to Muslims regarding backing an illegal war rather than a cartoon in Danish or French newspapers?
Learn democracy, learn to allow multi-faith, multi-race societies to flourish openly and freely in your nations, get real law based on proper legislation and not the world of some elderly cleric, get equal rights for women, freedom of speech and debate and a decent human rights record, then you can come back and talk to us about our ‘corrupt’ infidel culture. I see plenty of things in newspapers I not only dislike but actively loathe, but I don’t expect them to be censored and I certainly don’t want to see their offices burned down or confuse a newspaper article with governmental agencies (except in certain repressive regimes). It’s called freedom - learn to deal with it. Can’t accept ridicule or satire? Gee, you’re gonna have a tough time handling the slings and arrows of life. As I said before, if you are really devout then this will not bother you, you will know better than unbelievers and it will wash right over you - it’s not like you did anything blasphemous after all, so why the fuss? And for those whose faith is so weak this threatens them, well, that's your problem and, anyway, what makes you think you have special exemption from jokes or satire? Other religious figures and institutes get it all the time without this happening.
I don’t know, all this fuss over a simple cartoon… And as Yvonne points out, a Muslim boycott on Danish exports may not amount to much since their principal exports are beer and Danish bacon, neither of which Muslims are allowed to consume. And while we are on the subject of one culture offending another, I am personally offended by the reaction to this situation. I am a very devout Seventh Day Cartoonist; I worship at the Cartoonist alter almost every day and believe in the Holy Trinity - Tom, Jerry and Bugs Bunny. I believe in the literal truth of the Complete Crumb Comics. I believe Matt Groening and Fred Quimby were sent down from Cartoon Heaven to be the Great Animator’s disciples on Earth and show us the way to a better, more tolerant and relaxed society by using satire, humour and cartoons. As such I resent the way some Muslims have attacked the Cartoonists. Where are my rights? These unbelievers deserve our wrath - fortunately we Cartoonists don’t believe in burning down buildings, books or threatening the safety of individuals, but we shall be writing to Steve Bell and Ralph Steadman about this. Eat our ink, unbelievers!
Oh and for those who have been following all of this but not been able to see the actual cartoons, you can find them on this site. I personally found only one or two that funny - the one with a line of deceased suicide bombers, still smoking, arriving at heaven to be told they had run out of virgins is a belter - but here they are and you can have a look and make up your own mind. And here's a link to the excellent Steve Bell, who managed to put his take on the whole thing without drawing the Prophet.
Does anyone remember when cartoons were fun? Tom and Jerry, Bugs Bunny, the Simpsons, Steve Bell, R. Crumb… Cartoons, from the single frame topical cartoon in a newspaper to the comic strip through to animated cartoons on TV, film or the web. They entertain us, they make us laugh, the give us another way of exploring life, emotions and problems. They also have a proud history of being in the vanguard of satire. I consider satire to be one of the essential components to a free society; the ability to lampoon individuals in power, governments, associations and institutions is vital. In the West the satirical cartoons predates the establishment of full democracy in most European nations - witness the cartoon in Punch. It is an important part of our free and democratic society and a vital part of our culture.
The thing about satirical cartoons is that they are guaranteed to offend someone, be they a blustering, self-important politician, a greedy corporation or a spluttering, bigoted bishop. Most of us will find them funny and admire how the artist can create a jibe at some sacred cow with a few deft strokes of ink. The offended party may not like it but rarely burns down the embassies of other nations, threaten to hold EU citizens at gunpoint or march through London with placards calling for the cartoonists to be beheaded and for free speech to go to hell. The irony that these shag wits could only hold an impromptu demonstration in a civilised country with freedom of speech is obviously lost on them, as is the fact that they are given a tolerance and freedom of worship which most Muslim nations do not grant to other faiths visiting their lands (and forget about freedom of expression there - hey they don't even want you to have it in your country!).
The whole thing reminds me of the ridiculous posturing by certain Christian figures and their attacks on Monty Python’s Life of Brian when it first came out, decrying it as sick, offensive and blasphemous. Well, for a start, in a free society no institution should be above discussion or satire and that includes religion. If you feel your religion is threatened by a movie or a cartoon image then you obviously have a pretty weak faith; if you have true faith you’d shrug it off because you knew better than these capering clowns. If you are offended by cartoons, movies or books then don’t read or watch them! But do not tell the rest of us what we are allowed to say, draw or read. If you can’t live by those rules then you are in the wrong place and should perhaps consider living in a repressive nation governed by bigoted old men who like to pretend they are holy and govern by religious edicts and not law. See how far you get with a protest not sanctioned by the government then.
And if you are offended by these cartoons, well that’s a shame, but the rest of the world doesn’t feel constrained by the rules of your religion and you have to realise that. It has taken centuries for European nations to separate church from the law-making and governance of countries and we ain’t about to turn the clock back for anyone - we extend a welcome to all races and creeds but expect some respect for our ways in return. I am sick and tired of our politicians apologising to Muslim nations and mealy-mouthed platitudes about all cultures being equal etc. Not because I am racist - I can’t stand the BNP creeps and their friends who were in the news this week and who will make much hay from this nonsense, I'm afraid - but because it has for too long been a one-way street - the Muslim nations, most of which are repressive, non-democratic societies with appalling human rights records and their religious leaders do not grant us tolerance in return. Why not? This is our culture, being practised in our own continent. Don’t like it? Well, sorry, that’s a shame - grow a sense of humour why don’t you? The cartoons may not have been the most sensitive of things to publish but the reaction to them infuriates me - we’re insulting another culture. Well, what about our culture?
So if you are Muslim and upset, well sorry, but if you are going to get so upset over a bloody cartoon then presumably you will get upset over just about anything. Odd we don’t get buildings burned down when God or Buddha or various Hindu deities appear in the Simpsons. Portraying the Prophet may be offensive to Muslims, but to the rest of us it isn’t and we have no obligation to play by the rules of another person’s religion. And, as I say, if it offends you, then don’t look at it - no-one is made to read these things. Then again, I suspect most folk burning flags and embassies haven’t even seen the pictures, anymore than most of them read the Satanic Verses before burning it and issuing death threats on Salman Rushdie; Islam‘s response to criticism is less than mature. For a religion of peace it seems very easy to anger and very quick to move to violent means of censorship.
I have no respect for any religion but I do respect the rights of all citizens to practise their faith. However I expect rights to freedom of speech and expression to be respected in return and for them not to attempt to impose restrictions on me to comply with their faith. That also goes for Muslim governments who seem to think our governments in Europe should so something about this - news flash, guys, we are democracies. The governments, for once, are not responsible for this crisis and they have no right to censor the media. Unlike most Muslim nations of course, where editors can be imprisoned right away… Why Jack Straw thinks he has to apologise when the British media are largely uninvolved is beyond me - and anyway, surely he has more to apologise for to Muslims regarding backing an illegal war rather than a cartoon in Danish or French newspapers?
Learn democracy, learn to allow multi-faith, multi-race societies to flourish openly and freely in your nations, get real law based on proper legislation and not the world of some elderly cleric, get equal rights for women, freedom of speech and debate and a decent human rights record, then you can come back and talk to us about our ‘corrupt’ infidel culture. I see plenty of things in newspapers I not only dislike but actively loathe, but I don’t expect them to be censored and I certainly don’t want to see their offices burned down or confuse a newspaper article with governmental agencies (except in certain repressive regimes). It’s called freedom - learn to deal with it. Can’t accept ridicule or satire? Gee, you’re gonna have a tough time handling the slings and arrows of life. As I said before, if you are really devout then this will not bother you, you will know better than unbelievers and it will wash right over you - it’s not like you did anything blasphemous after all, so why the fuss? And for those whose faith is so weak this threatens them, well, that's your problem and, anyway, what makes you think you have special exemption from jokes or satire? Other religious figures and institutes get it all the time without this happening.
I don’t know, all this fuss over a simple cartoon… And as Yvonne points out, a Muslim boycott on Danish exports may not amount to much since their principal exports are beer and Danish bacon, neither of which Muslims are allowed to consume. And while we are on the subject of one culture offending another, I am personally offended by the reaction to this situation. I am a very devout Seventh Day Cartoonist; I worship at the Cartoonist alter almost every day and believe in the Holy Trinity - Tom, Jerry and Bugs Bunny. I believe in the literal truth of the Complete Crumb Comics. I believe Matt Groening and Fred Quimby were sent down from Cartoon Heaven to be the Great Animator’s disciples on Earth and show us the way to a better, more tolerant and relaxed society by using satire, humour and cartoons. As such I resent the way some Muslims have attacked the Cartoonists. Where are my rights? These unbelievers deserve our wrath - fortunately we Cartoonists don’t believe in burning down buildings, books or threatening the safety of individuals, but we shall be writing to Steve Bell and Ralph Steadman about this. Eat our ink, unbelievers!
Oh and for those who have been following all of this but not been able to see the actual cartoons, you can find them on this site. I personally found only one or two that funny - the one with a line of deceased suicide bombers, still smoking, arriving at heaven to be told they had run out of virgins is a belter - but here they are and you can have a look and make up your own mind. And here's a link to the excellent Steve Bell, who managed to put his take on the whole thing without drawing the Prophet.
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