Spirit of ‘77

1977 that is. The Punk era – an era that left a lasting cultural impression (check out that DIY attitude to guerrilla film-making, the web etc – that is pure Punk) and lead me personally into the arms of the Holy Trinity: Drums, Bass and Electric Geetar holding services in the Church of Rock. It saved the world from the dreadfulness that was disco, for which the world should forever be grateful. And that period gave us the two and a half minute glories of the great Ramones. And now another member of that band has followed his fellows, Dee-Dee and Joey Ramone to a far-too-premature grave with the news that Johnny Ramone succumbed to cancer in his early fifties today. To many this won’t mean much – to those of us old rockers it means mountains. To those folk, my brother and sisters in loud, thrashing music and ear damage, I say let us join together in a chorus of Sheena is a Punk Rocker and pogo up and down before observing a two and a half minute silence as another little piece of our youth is taken from us. Then put some Ramones one the stereo, turn it up and tell the neighbours to go fuck themselves.

Yes, those of you who don’t remember the era are saying, hey, Joe, where you going with that punk album in your hand? It was just some old band, forget about it. Well, I know it’s only rock’n’roll. But I like it. Gods but I love it. Some of us Sold Our Souls for Rock and Roll and For Those About To Rock, We Salute You. We’re heartbroken today, but we will be Back In Black and when the mourning is over we will once more pick up our axes and have some Crazy, Crazy Nights. And for those who still wonder what the fuss is about then just get your ignorant ass over to any book on popular music and read that the Ramones are one of the few bands who changed the artistic and cultural landscape. Few have redefined popular tastes, but the Ramones did.

End of an era

I reached the end of a long and winding road this week. I finished my proof copy of the third and final volume of Neal Stephenson’s astonishing Baroque Cycle, The System of the World (published soon). That’s nearly three thousand pages of Stephenson I’ve read in these last twelve months and I have been so utterly entranced and absorbed by these books that now it is all done I feel like I just saw some good friends off to another country where I won’t get to see them again. I’ve read a hell of a lot of books of every conceivable type over the last three decades. I’ve reviewed many of them and I have sold many more in my eleven years in the book trade. So when I tell you that these books are some of the most remarkable I have ever read, that’s saying a lot. Don’t let the vast size of each volume put you off – this is a trilogy that anyone who loves books should look at. Not to read it would be like saying you are a book lover but you have never read Dickens, or Cervantes or Homer. There simply are some books that those who enter the wondrous realm of words must read.

Scumbags



Not realising there was a home game this afternoon at Tynecastle Stadium I nipped out of my flat to the shops. Straight into thousands of the Great Unwashed. Now, much as I despire football (I went to a rugby school where we were encouraged to look down upon the game. Thank god for good schools) I can't in all fairness tar all footie fans with the same brush. However, it is equally fair to say that the Jambo (Hearts=Tarts=Jam Tarts=Jambos) crowd harbours more than a fair amount of Scum of the Earth within the general fan ranks. These are the ones throwing fast food litter and beer bottles away in the street right next to my home - they don't give a shit that people live there. They jeer, they sing hate-filled sectarian songs they generally act in threatening manners as ordinary folk who live there try to go around their business.



For those who don't know Hearts may be moving from their stadium to to poverty and relocating to nearby Murrayfield. This has created great uproar amongst the fans, understandably. Personally I hope the buggers go so I and everyone else around here has a better quality of life. One of the few local merchants who hasn't put up a 'save hearts' sign in his window told me that he thought them going would improve the area immeasurably. The police have been called to protests both outside Tynecastle (on my doorstep, thank you very much) and to the homes of club officials who have had threatening mail, calls etc. And today the Scum section of the crowd sank to an all-time low. What bottom-feeding scumbuckets always pop-up around masses of uneducated people who are full of anger to fuel and feed it? Why the BNP of course. Waving large Union Jacks, shaved heads, handing out their despicable 'political' tracts. I heard one in a UJ t-shirt complaining that he wasn't allowed in to the stadium wearing it. So good for the Tynecastle official who lept these Nazi-wannabes out. I'm sure they ended up at the nearby pub which always seems to be full of these sorts of creeps. Went home feeling unsafe and dirty. My, what a credit to the sport. Creeps. Hunger politics is alive and well and still stoking the fires of hostility and hate.

Cassie enjoying the sudden burst of glorious blue skies and sunlight we had for a couple of days.

Raiment of quality

Finally it is here – my Hellboy symbols T-shirt, which is now Officially one of my coolest Tees. Now I just need to avoid dribbling curry and beer on it. And dissuading the cats from sleeping on it. In fact, perhaps I’ll just keep it wrapped up safely…

Hurricane retribution

My poor chum Stephanie and her girlfriend in Florida are beginning to get a little paranoid (welcome to my world) – third hurricane warning in as many weeks. I can see why that would really start to get at you, especially when one is rated a class 5, which is a technical way of saying ‘wrath of god’ I reckon. They’re still putting together the mess made from the last two hurricanes. Florida – hot sunshine, great amusement parks, amazing wildlife, great clubs. And hurricanes, sheriffs who wear mirror sunglasses and the normal compliment of gang-bangers (remember when that term used to mean something much nicer, like multiple shagging? Now it means a crew of disaffected Latinos fighting disaffected groups of inner-city coloured kids while the middle classes go and hide in gated communities). Makes you nostalgiac for dear old blighty, doesn’t it?

Anyway, we at the Gazette have been putting some thought into why Florida is being hit so much and we think we know why – it is punishment. The State of Florida is being punished by the universe/god/Fate (delete as applicable) for the karmic disaster which befell the world four years ago when Brother Jeb and that nice, unbiased Harris woman made sure Florida went Dubyah’s way. It’s karmic payback – you think it’s coincidence this is all happening only weeks from the presidential election? So, Floridians listen to us – to save yourselves and appease the Storm Gods you must take George and Jeb Bush and manacle them to the southernmost of the Keys at low tide and sacrifice them to return the cosmic balance they so badly upset. Come to think of it maybe you should throw in the rest of the Bush clan too. It will be kind of like the finale to Clash of the Titans, but not as cool and with no rescue. And if it doesn’t work and appease the Storm Gods at least it will give us all a laugh. Or you could try chucking Limbaugh after them. See if sharks can get high cholesterol from devouring a right-wing fat-arse.

And I need hardly remind you all that if Americans had taken the sensible course of action I advised them to four years ago during the whole chad-voting debacle and just got rid of both candidates and made me Emperor none of this would be happening. So there.

New blog



Haven't had much time to blog this last week or so, but will soon. In the meantime I have been busy writing up a roundup of the fantastic genre movies at this year's Edinburgh International Film Festival and also working on a small (still rather basic) blog for the Edinburgh SF Book Group that Alex (now departed to London) and I started up just about a year ago. Contact details for the store, the current month's meeting and the following month's and a brief outline (in reverse order) of the previous meetings. Hopefully as we go along some of the regualr group members will contribute write-ups of the books and the suggested 'if you liked this why not try' readings.