USA TO HELP UNICEF



In a move to shore up the strained relationship with the United Nations they US administration announced they were taking unilateral action to help the work of their UNICEF organisation. "We bagged us a few kids on Friday and about ten last week," explained Major General Dwight N. Nukenburger III proudly, referring to the two of the msot recent fiascos in Afghanistant where US attack craft have bombed supposed hideouts of major terrorists only to discover they had actually bombed a bunch of children to death.



There was some puzzlement in the Press Corps as to why the Pentagon and Bush administration was so proud of this 'achievement' until it was realised they had somewhat mistaken the meaning of the anacronym UNICEF. It turned out the Americans thought it stood for United Nations International Child Extermiantion Force and thought, hey, we're good at that, let's do our bit to help the UN boys. Given the misleading and confliciting intelligence about terrorism which lead us into the war in the first palce this is not entirely a surprise. The general also outlined plans to deploy US school students in Afghanistan as they are considered the most effective force to use in killing children. And thus a proud US forces tradition established during the No-Gun Ree massacre in Korea is continued...