If I may take a leaf from Matthew’s web-book and point you in the direction of an excellent story in today’s Guardian. Choice Point, the information company behind the disenfranchising - accidentally of course - of thousands of US citizens during the 2000 presidential elections in Florida are back in the news.
Choice Point have been paid millions of the American taxpayer’s dollars by the Bush government (who they helped into power) to gather data on the citizens of other nations. No, we’re not talking about criminals, drug lords or terrorists here - they want info on every person in these countries, most of which are friendly nations. They have allegedly secured the entire electoral register of Mexico - a grossly illegal and immoral act - and are gathering data on the date of birth, employment, education, marital status, bank and passport details etc. of all adult citizens in countries like Mexico, Nicaragua, Argentina and others. We have to assume Western Europe is on that list too. Quite why Uncle Sam requires this information on every citizen of neighbouring lands is not clear. Perhaps as with the spying on their own citizens - authorised by the so-called Patriot Act - it is to protect us from the Bad Men. Intercepting their own citizen’s emails and scanning their bank accounts while checking credit card details of tourist coming into the city and compiling dossiers on people all around the world - who are they protecting us from?
And who is going to protect us from them? If knowledge is indeed power our leaders - the British government is eyeing these moves up and planning an amended snooper’s charter that Blunkett tried to get through parliament last year - then our leaders are determined to get as much power over us as they can. Big Brother is alive and well long after 1984, complete with sinisterly-named Orwellian ministries, such as the Ministry of Homeland Security - eroding your rights to protect you. Spying on your citizens and allies, illegal obtaining of confidential data by suspect organisations, suspension of your democratic rights - who exactly is the bad guy now? Andy why do the American citizens stand for these repeated violations of all that is sacred to the American spirit? Keep reading and making your voice heard, people, we need to let these smeggers know we have teeth and that we’re watching them. We’re plugged into the planet, we’re smart and we have got power too - and nobody is going to take it from us without a fight, least of all our own ‘elected’ representatives.
Monday, May 5, 2003
How nice to see Saint Tony throwing off the advice of his heathen spin doctors this week to nail his devout Christian colours to the mast. Now most of our US chums will be used to their politicians invoking God, but it is not the done thing in the UK; frankly we find it a little embarrasing. I have no problem with anyone’s religious beliefs - it is a fundamental right after all - as long as they keep it to themselves and don’t stick it in my face. What’s worrying is that Tony is talking to God and making decisions of world importance based on these ideas. He’s prepared to face his maker on Judgement Day and answer to God for the innocent lives lost as a result of his decisions in the Iraq War.
Well, that is all very nice for Tony (not sure God wants to know about him, frankly and from what I recall of Jesus he certainly won’t want to meet him, he was for turning the cheek not cluster bombing civilians). However, as far as I am aware, God Almighty is not a registered voter in any UK constituency. I and many hundreds of thousands - indeed millions - of others who opposed the war and spoke out or demonstrated against it and are registered voters. Blair in his sanctimonious smugness and arrogance chose deliberately to ignore all of us. I think perhaps that he should be judged by the people of this country before any mythical deity gets a shot at the smegger. And you have to admit it is a nice touch - a fine way to help persuade Muslims around the world that this wasn’t a war on Islam, a new Crusade. Invoke the Christian god in your reasoning for killing Muslims. Hmmm, that is really going to help…
Well, that is all very nice for Tony (not sure God wants to know about him, frankly and from what I recall of Jesus he certainly won’t want to meet him, he was for turning the cheek not cluster bombing civilians). However, as far as I am aware, God Almighty is not a registered voter in any UK constituency. I and many hundreds of thousands - indeed millions - of others who opposed the war and spoke out or demonstrated against it and are registered voters. Blair in his sanctimonious smugness and arrogance chose deliberately to ignore all of us. I think perhaps that he should be judged by the people of this country before any mythical deity gets a shot at the smegger. And you have to admit it is a nice touch - a fine way to help persuade Muslims around the world that this wasn’t a war on Islam, a new Crusade. Invoke the Christian god in your reasoning for killing Muslims. Hmmm, that is really going to help…
May Day holiday - except I’m working on a late shift (after already doing a full weekend, thank you very much). Just to boost my moral and incetivise me one of the assistant managers, instead of a ‘hello’ or ‘how was the weekend shift’ or ‘hey, you got this, this and that done, great’, started within 30 seconds of my arrival to bitch and moan and generally be a bad-tempered wee bugger. Apparently Alex got the same on arriving for the early shift, as did another colleague. Way to motivate and inspire your team to work, especially on a holiday…
Between grumpy managers and bullshit memos arriving endlessly from head office and our area manager we don’t actually get much time to sell books anymore. Directives arrive constantly - move these books here, move them back again, no, we don’t like that, space them out differently on the shelf - we even get told how many we can put on what shelves and where and get told off if we affix a special offer sticker that isn’t in the correct corner of the book cover and straight on - yes they are that bloody anal. No wonder the quality and range of the books in the store suffer - we don’t have time for real bookselling duties! I recall when we used to be a real group of professional booksellers (sighs). I hate my job and my firm is a mindless, uncaring amalgamation of Dilbert’s Pointy Haired Boss and the smegging Borg.
Between grumpy managers and bullshit memos arriving endlessly from head office and our area manager we don’t actually get much time to sell books anymore. Directives arrive constantly - move these books here, move them back again, no, we don’t like that, space them out differently on the shelf - we even get told how many we can put on what shelves and where and get told off if we affix a special offer sticker that isn’t in the correct corner of the book cover and straight on - yes they are that bloody anal. No wonder the quality and range of the books in the store suffer - we don’t have time for real bookselling duties! I recall when we used to be a real group of professional booksellers (sighs). I hate my job and my firm is a mindless, uncaring amalgamation of Dilbert’s Pointy Haired Boss and the smegging Borg.
Friday, May 2, 2003
It's official - in a poll to mark the 40th anniversary of the Beatles' first Number One William Shatner has been voted as 'singing' the worst ever cover version of a Beatles number. Anyone who has heard Shatner's Transformed Man knows just how godawful our favourite Starship ham is in the singing game - just one step up form Leonard Nimoy's Ballad of Bilbo Baggins. Shatner's cover of Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds beat Pinky and Perky's All My Loving, which in turn beat Gareth Gates and his fellow crapster Will Young. Details on the BBC news site.
SCOTTISH PARLIAMENT IN DISARRAY AFTER APATHY PARTY SWEEP TO VICTORY
The political foundations of Scottish democracy were shaken to its core after the election results for May 1st were counted. The ruling Labour party lost seats while the principal opposition, the Scottish Nationalists, bizarrely also lost seats. The Scottish Socialist Party and the Green Party jumped from being one-trick ponies to having a brace of MSPs each, plus four more independent MSPs took seats from the main parties. However, the biggest winner in the Scottish parliamentary and local government elections were the Apathy Party.
With a high - and we use the word advisedly - water mark of around 59% in a few areas and dipping to just under 40% in others a huge groundswell of support of the Apathists has carried them on and into government. So what are the policies of the Apathy Party? Unfortunately this is a mystery to even your intrepid investigators here at the Woolamaloo Gazette. Throughout the month-long campaign season the Apathy Party did not make a single statement, hold a single press conference or make a single electoral broadcast. In fact even the BBC’s Brian Taylor could not track down their spokesperson, party leader or even their office. Some say they don’t really exist, but the truth is that they just can’t be bothered turning up anywhere and certainly can’t be arsed to run the country.
This naturally leaves Scottish democracy in something of a quandary - either the election results favouring the Apathists by a vast majority are ignored in order to install a government that can at least turn up for work (although not necessarily do any better job than the absent Apathists), which would mean breaking the election rules. This would mean overturning a democratic election in a way not seen since Richard Nixon and Henry Kissinger arranged for President Allende to be overthrown or since Jeb Bush gave George Bush Florida. It could also lead to cries of electoral irregularities and could lead to Jimmy Carter coming in and kicking some parliamentary ass. The other option, to go with the proper result, leads to a governing party that has no policies and indeed no members who will bother to turn up at Holyrood. If this spreads to the rest of Britain by the next Westminster election we could have no leadership at all at any level, leading to Anarchy in the UK. Some argue that this is not so very different from the present system. Others have speculated that this may be an improvement and that a more apathetic Britain would be a kinder, gentler place (for starters we couldn’t be bothered to go bomb other nations).
The political foundations of Scottish democracy were shaken to its core after the election results for May 1st were counted. The ruling Labour party lost seats while the principal opposition, the Scottish Nationalists, bizarrely also lost seats. The Scottish Socialist Party and the Green Party jumped from being one-trick ponies to having a brace of MSPs each, plus four more independent MSPs took seats from the main parties. However, the biggest winner in the Scottish parliamentary and local government elections were the Apathy Party.
With a high - and we use the word advisedly - water mark of around 59% in a few areas and dipping to just under 40% in others a huge groundswell of support of the Apathists has carried them on and into government. So what are the policies of the Apathy Party? Unfortunately this is a mystery to even your intrepid investigators here at the Woolamaloo Gazette. Throughout the month-long campaign season the Apathy Party did not make a single statement, hold a single press conference or make a single electoral broadcast. In fact even the BBC’s Brian Taylor could not track down their spokesperson, party leader or even their office. Some say they don’t really exist, but the truth is that they just can’t be bothered turning up anywhere and certainly can’t be arsed to run the country.
This naturally leaves Scottish democracy in something of a quandary - either the election results favouring the Apathists by a vast majority are ignored in order to install a government that can at least turn up for work (although not necessarily do any better job than the absent Apathists), which would mean breaking the election rules. This would mean overturning a democratic election in a way not seen since Richard Nixon and Henry Kissinger arranged for President Allende to be overthrown or since Jeb Bush gave George Bush Florida. It could also lead to cries of electoral irregularities and could lead to Jimmy Carter coming in and kicking some parliamentary ass. The other option, to go with the proper result, leads to a governing party that has no policies and indeed no members who will bother to turn up at Holyrood. If this spreads to the rest of Britain by the next Westminster election we could have no leadership at all at any level, leading to Anarchy in the UK. Some argue that this is not so very different from the present system. Others have speculated that this may be an improvement and that a more apathetic Britain would be a kinder, gentler place (for starters we couldn’t be bothered to go bomb other nations).
Seriously, it was dreadful to see just how few folks bothered to get off their fat arses and go and vote. They are all happy to moan in the pub about how bad a job the politicians are doing and how they never listen to anyone, but can’t actually bother to go and vote. If you didn’t bother to vote then you ain’t got no grounds to bitch about the buggers!
The good news is that, thanks largely to the second or list vote and its proportional representational component, those of us who did bother to vote actually did change things. We changed the normal big party rules of British politics. We have a brace of Green MSPs, Scottish Socialists and several independents, one of whom stood in my parent’s constituency in order to defend a major hospital in Glasgow. What’s so important about this hospital? Apart from the fact that closing it due to ‘reorganisation’ will mean north Glasgow and the towns around it will have to go a lot further for emergency treatment (pretty crucial in an emergency) and a big deal considering the huge population in and around Glasgow. The hospital - Stobhill - is also a site of historical significance, largely due to the fact that in 1967 I was born there. People using the system to voice the arguments they want, not what the spin doctors want and try to effect change. The big parties are going to have brakes applied to their ideologies and have to be more responsive to the people - just a pity more of the people didn’t actually vote. Still, at least we don’t have a bunch of smegging neo-Nazi BNP hatemongers.
The good news is that, thanks largely to the second or list vote and its proportional representational component, those of us who did bother to vote actually did change things. We changed the normal big party rules of British politics. We have a brace of Green MSPs, Scottish Socialists and several independents, one of whom stood in my parent’s constituency in order to defend a major hospital in Glasgow. What’s so important about this hospital? Apart from the fact that closing it due to ‘reorganisation’ will mean north Glasgow and the towns around it will have to go a lot further for emergency treatment (pretty crucial in an emergency) and a big deal considering the huge population in and around Glasgow. The hospital - Stobhill - is also a site of historical significance, largely due to the fact that in 1967 I was born there. People using the system to voice the arguments they want, not what the spin doctors want and try to effect change. The big parties are going to have brakes applied to their ideologies and have to be more responsive to the people - just a pity more of the people didn’t actually vote. Still, at least we don’t have a bunch of smegging neo-Nazi BNP hatemongers.
Thursday, May 1, 2003
Happy Beltane to everyone! The ancient Celtic rite of spring, welcoming the return of the fertility to the land and the easy availability of outdoor drinking for the summer. True to course it pissed down! And this year we didn't have the usual Beltane Fire Festival on Calton Hill because Edinburgh City Council are a bunch of eejits and screwed it all up over costs. They are more than happy to spend huge amounts of the local taxpayer's cash on events for the tourists but not on the people who actually live here (and pay their bloody wages). Yes, the modern version may not be 'historically accurate' (but then this goes back to way before the Romans ever came here so no-one knows exactly what happened at the ceremony) but it is enormous fun. Fire jugglers, the Green Man, several Red Men, a May Queen, sprites, dancers, drummers, drink, drugs, snogging and laughter - it certainly has the spirit of the old pagan festival. What do you mean, how do I know? Because I'm Celtic, so there :-)! We know these things and if anyone disagrees they can chew on an Irn Bru bottle. Still, a happy Beltane to you all and may the Earth Goddess or the deity of your choice spread peaceful blessings on you as the world rotates into summer.
Passed the old cemetery nearby a couple of evenings ago and the huge, gnarled old tree (the one with the bat in it) which hangs right over the wall is slowly awakening from it's winter slumber (just in time for the Beltane). It's an amazing old tree, fantastically twisted, branches reaching out over the wall to caress the roof of passing double decker buses. Green is reappearing as it comes back to life for another year, like seeing an old friend again.Took all of this rebirth of the land thing to mean one of two things: 1) I must ride forth and find the Holy Grail. Onc Arthur has drunk from it the land and he will be reborn. Fussy bugger, why he couldn't just have a decent dram... 2) I should use my list vote for the Scottish parliament to vote for the Greens. Discharged my civic and demcoratic duty. Not overly mad on the election system, but as Matthew observes, you have to use what voice you have. He's obviously on his poitical high horse today (anything to avoid studying), you should have a look.My political high horse is eating hay as we speak, so I had to use my mountain bike instead. It doesn't look as good, but it doesn't crap all over the road either (although that may be a way of getting back at idiot drivers).
Passed the old cemetery nearby a couple of evenings ago and the huge, gnarled old tree (the one with the bat in it) which hangs right over the wall is slowly awakening from it's winter slumber (just in time for the Beltane). It's an amazing old tree, fantastically twisted, branches reaching out over the wall to caress the roof of passing double decker buses. Green is reappearing as it comes back to life for another year, like seeing an old friend again.Took all of this rebirth of the land thing to mean one of two things: 1) I must ride forth and find the Holy Grail. Onc Arthur has drunk from it the land and he will be reborn. Fussy bugger, why he couldn't just have a decent dram... 2) I should use my list vote for the Scottish parliament to vote for the Greens. Discharged my civic and demcoratic duty. Not overly mad on the election system, but as Matthew observes, you have to use what voice you have. He's obviously on his poitical high horse today (anything to avoid studying), you should have a look.My political high horse is eating hay as we speak, so I had to use my mountain bike instead. It doesn't look as good, but it doesn't crap all over the road either (although that may be a way of getting back at idiot drivers).
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