The Meaning of Easter
As we relax into the first major holiday of the spring (except for our chums in the Southern hemisphere of course) and the re-greening of the country begins as the land gently stirs from it's winter slumbers your friendly Gazette staff thought that they should, in-between stuffing their gobs with yummy choccy eggs, remind our dear readers of the true story of Easter.
Easter is, of course, the most sacred time to Chrisitans (that they knicked from the pagans) when they celebrate the death and resurrection of their messiah. But it is about far more than some man being nailed to a piece of wood you know. Cast your minds back, dear readers, some two thousand years (give or take). Jesus of Nazareth is a thirty-something who has, through a lot of hard work and travel built up a good reputation and a certain following.
Having dinner with his Disciples one evening they discuss how they overcome the plateau their movement seems to have grounded on - how do they reach a bigger audience, national and international? Yes, this is the first recorded director's and shareholder's AGM in history. It seems obvious to Judas that what their grass-roots movement has been succssful but it can only go so far, limited by it's personal touch and word-of-mouth system. What they need, Judas reckons, is a proper PR campaign to take the movement to the next level.
With much cajoling Judas manages to persuade the other disciples/directors to stump up a PR budget of 30 pieces of silver. Top ad agency Red Sea Pedestrians are brought in to work with the team. They realise after some market research that the Christians need to do two things: first they need to reach out to a wider audience and secondly they need to engage more with the female demographic. All the disciples are male and this isn't helping win over women in the Holy Land; most market surveys reveal that they see the nascent new movement as a yet another bunch of men wandering around the donkey trails talking when they should be doing some work and bringing in a few shekels to the household, chopping wood and mending that leaking oil lamp.
And so a greater emphasis is to be given to the women in the movement; threes are known to work well in PR so the three Maries are brought out to be the female face of the movement (the Holy Spice Girls of their day). For an international audience though something much bigger is needed. Entertaining conjuring tricks with fish and bread are all very well for the local papers, but to get international media coverage more is needed and so the idea of a great trial and martyrdom is born.
Every movement needs a successful logo and the crucifix is perfect - eye-catching, it comes with it's own history, is easily recognised throughout the Empire by everyone and is simple to produce for the Holy Relics market. The public martyrdom of the Christ does indeed lead to massive publicity for the following. In a last-minute master-stroke the PR agency appeals to the bowling community (then the Holy Land's favourite sport) by including a rolling rock on the resurrection from the tomb, linking Jesus with the ability to bowl the perfect game, even after death in the minds of millions of keen bowlers.
Within a few years people across the Roman Empire are wearing crucifixes, stores are selling 'authentic' replicas of the Spear of Destiny, bowlers are taking their game to a whole new level and Christianity would spread throughout the continents. So this Easter remember that those chocolate eggs symbolise something very important - go bowling and pray for a perfect strike. As the late, great Dave Allen used to put it, 'go in peace and may your god go with you.'
Saturday, March 26, 2005
Friday, March 25, 2005
Turkish tabby
A lovely story via Lee jay Stoltzfus' Rare Book News from a Turkish newspaper about a bookstore in Turkey which has attracted some eleven street cats over the last few years. These literary moggies like Nuri Bulut's bookstore so much they haven't left, happily catnapping on coffee table editions, purring on poetry and lounging on the literature. So what does a feline of letters enjoy reading?
My girls, Pandora and Cassie are comics fans, with a special liking for Catwoman (of course), although they also enjoy the Black Panther but have mixed feelings about Black Canary... Their favourite character in the Sandman is, understandably, Bast. What else do cats read? T.S. Eliot's Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats must be a contender. Crime-loving mogs presumably enjoy Lilian Braun's Cat Who... series. Younger kittens enjoy The Cat in the Hat, Puss in Boots and are all very fond of Delilah and the Cheshire Cat in the Alice novels by Lewis Carroll.
The world of books and felines do seem to go together quite often. Back in Ye Earlye Days of Ye Olde Internette, before the web and GUI interfaces one of the online discussions I was subscribed to was a literary one (surprise) mostly made up of folk in Britain, America, Canada and Australia who worked in libraries, bookstores, publishing etc. We did notice that cats were mentioned rather often in the course of our discussions, so we decided to hold an impromtu survey and, quelle surpise, we found that a high proportion of booksellers and librarians had cats. I wonder why that is?
And it is far from a modern phenomenon as a poem in the ravishing Canongate collection The Great Book of Gaelic by a medieval monk shows, as he writes of his cat keeping him company as he sits at his scribe's desk. I'm sure there is a study in there for someone's thesis.
A lovely story via Lee jay Stoltzfus' Rare Book News from a Turkish newspaper about a bookstore in Turkey which has attracted some eleven street cats over the last few years. These literary moggies like Nuri Bulut's bookstore so much they haven't left, happily catnapping on coffee table editions, purring on poetry and lounging on the literature. So what does a feline of letters enjoy reading?
My girls, Pandora and Cassie are comics fans, with a special liking for Catwoman (of course), although they also enjoy the Black Panther but have mixed feelings about Black Canary... Their favourite character in the Sandman is, understandably, Bast. What else do cats read? T.S. Eliot's Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats must be a contender. Crime-loving mogs presumably enjoy Lilian Braun's Cat Who... series. Younger kittens enjoy The Cat in the Hat, Puss in Boots and are all very fond of Delilah and the Cheshire Cat in the Alice novels by Lewis Carroll.
The world of books and felines do seem to go together quite often. Back in Ye Earlye Days of Ye Olde Internette, before the web and GUI interfaces one of the online discussions I was subscribed to was a literary one (surprise) mostly made up of folk in Britain, America, Canada and Australia who worked in libraries, bookstores, publishing etc. We did notice that cats were mentioned rather often in the course of our discussions, so we decided to hold an impromtu survey and, quelle surpise, we found that a high proportion of booksellers and librarians had cats. I wonder why that is?
And it is far from a modern phenomenon as a poem in the ravishing Canongate collection The Great Book of Gaelic by a medieval monk shows, as he writes of his cat keeping him company as he sits at his scribe's desk. I'm sure there is a study in there for someone's thesis.
Central Asians Riot Over Lack of Vowels
The people of Kyrgyzstan in central Asia appeared to be settling down again after their sudden revolution. A temporary president is attempting to restore normal order while authorities clean up the mess. Many people around the world had never of this small republic, formerly part of the Soviet Union. Those who had heard of it couldn't pronounce it - even Polish people have problems pronouncing the country's name.
It is believed by experts on the region that the citizens had finally rebelled against former president Akayev who was basically a client of Russia. The final straw for the rebelling citizens was when Mr Akayev sold off most of Kyrgyzstan's remaining stock from the National Vowels Depository.
"We're sick of not having enough vowels in our nation," explained Nktn Mxzkptylk, "how can we ever build political, cultural and commerical bridges with the rest of Europe if we no longer possess any vowels?" "We sound like characters from a second-rate hack's bad fantasy novel, "added her friend Zxqpyy. The European Union's Language Bureau has promised several million Euros in literary aid while the RAF were already preparing to fly a Hercules transporter filled with crates of fresh vowels to the republic on Saturday.
The people of Kyrgyzstan in central Asia appeared to be settling down again after their sudden revolution. A temporary president is attempting to restore normal order while authorities clean up the mess. Many people around the world had never of this small republic, formerly part of the Soviet Union. Those who had heard of it couldn't pronounce it - even Polish people have problems pronouncing the country's name.
It is believed by experts on the region that the citizens had finally rebelled against former president Akayev who was basically a client of Russia. The final straw for the rebelling citizens was when Mr Akayev sold off most of Kyrgyzstan's remaining stock from the National Vowels Depository.
"We're sick of not having enough vowels in our nation," explained Nktn Mxzkptylk, "how can we ever build political, cultural and commerical bridges with the rest of Europe if we no longer possess any vowels?" "We sound like characters from a second-rate hack's bad fantasy novel, "added her friend Zxqpyy. The European Union's Language Bureau has promised several million Euros in literary aid while the RAF were already preparing to fly a Hercules transporter filled with crates of fresh vowels to the republic on Saturday.
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
New Government Rules
Tony Blair's government has announced that it will tighten up the procedures governing the use of intelligence after they were basically found to have (mis)used it to lead us into an illegal war (but of course they didn't ever, ever sex it up, oh no). This is supposed to reassure the British electorate before an election but if you are have an ounce of cynicism (and if you dodn't you wouldn't be reading this!) you may well think the only procedures the government will implement will be to make sure they don't get found out again so easily and to make sure the BBC will take the fall again if they do. Oh dear, I'm talking my way into an intern camp for terrorists...
Elsewhere that same BBC the Blair government tried to smear to save their own amoral asses announced that the former deputy legal adviser to the Foreign Office, Elizabeth Wilmhurst, warned that the Iraq war was a "crime of aggression" when she resigned because she felt the war was illegal. Channel 4 News also claimed that a piece of the letter that was witheld proved that the attorney general changed his mind on the legality of the war (the British people, of course, still are not being trusted by Blair with the publication of that legal advice in full - why not? Nothing to hide, surely?). People need to remember all of this in the run-up to the general election.
Tony Blair's government has announced that it will tighten up the procedures governing the use of intelligence after they were basically found to have (mis)used it to lead us into an illegal war (but of course they didn't ever, ever sex it up, oh no). This is supposed to reassure the British electorate before an election but if you are have an ounce of cynicism (and if you dodn't you wouldn't be reading this!) you may well think the only procedures the government will implement will be to make sure they don't get found out again so easily and to make sure the BBC will take the fall again if they do. Oh dear, I'm talking my way into an intern camp for terrorists...
Elsewhere that same BBC the Blair government tried to smear to save their own amoral asses announced that the former deputy legal adviser to the Foreign Office, Elizabeth Wilmhurst, warned that the Iraq war was a "crime of aggression" when she resigned because she felt the war was illegal. Channel 4 News also claimed that a piece of the letter that was witheld proved that the attorney general changed his mind on the legality of the war (the British people, of course, still are not being trusted by Blair with the publication of that legal advice in full - why not? Nothing to hide, surely?). People need to remember all of this in the run-up to the general election.
Another blog bites the dust
John writes to me to point out that the Morrisons blog has gone - the work-related posts have all been deleted and now there is a message on the site with (what seems to me at any rate) to be a rather smug and gloating edge to it saying "Oh dear. It seems that Morrisons Employee, has deleted his blog. Otherwise I wouldn't have been able to create this one with the same name." It then directs folk to a new 'forum' for Morrisons employees.
Perhaps I am just a cynical and suspicious person, but this didn't look like a private undertaking to me, especially with all its rules on what you could and couldn't post (not keen on anything too negative - in fact not much room for any real debate their, so is it really a forum?). Perhaps I'm wrong but I got the impression of a very controlled environment designed to give the appearance of an open forum while not being anything of the sort. If so it would be a hi-jacking of the original in a most underhand manner, but then I suppose it was a matter of time before a control collar was fastened around Morrison Employee's neck. What happened to that blogger I do not know, but I wish them well and hope they rejoin us in the blogosphere at some point.
Brotherly Love
Oh, those wonderful ultra-right, super-caring Christian fundamentalists have been busy the last couple of months proving they are as big a danger to civilsed society as Muslim fundamentalists. And no, I'm not talking about those nutty right-wing, God-fearin' folks in the USA who love life so much they shoot doctors. Nope, I'm talking about the disturbing rise of their intolerant cousins right here in Blighty.
Back in December I blogged about a bunch of ultra-Christian numpties who were trying to force the chief constable in Fife to shut down a play in Saint Andrews because it was blasphemous (it had a gay Jesus). They didn't actually go to see it, they just demonstrated against it without viewing the play then tried to get the law to stop anyone else seeing it. Does that strike anyone as being a bit ridiculous that a tiny number of religious zealots think they can tell the rest of society what they can watch? And if you looked at that group's website (as I did) the homophobic, intolerant ranting was obnoxious and awful. Good caring folk practising the message of Jesus to love they neighbour... Hypocrites.
Then there was the Jerry Springer - The Musical debacle. It's been around a while but when the BBC screened it - with many warnings as to the content being offensive to some, so they may wish to not watch - there was a shitstorm. Out came these right-wing Christian wankers again, attacking the BBC, calling for it to be banned because it so offended them. Well here's an idea for you, DON'T BLOODY WATCH IT! But don't ever tell the rest of us what we can, as reasonable adults, watch. These are the modern, more vicious descendants of the religious bastards who attacked the Life of Brian on its release (of course, it is a revered film from the Monty Python team loved around the world two decades later while those who tried to 'protect us for our own good' are largely forgotten).
Ah, but that wasn't all. These same gits then went on to threaten a charity. Yes, devout (supposed) Christians attacking a small charity which ran a hospice caring for people with cancer. The Jerry Springer Musical folk offered to do a charity fundraiser - the Christians threatened the charity with a blockade of their hospice if they accepted. In other words they were prepared to abuse terminally ill patients and their carers and families.
How fucking sick are these people? What sort of Christianity is this supposed to be? Doesn't seem to follow the path laid down by the man who walked among the lepers, the poor, the prostitutes and sick to care for them, does it? They have since pressured numerous theatrical venues to pull out of hosting the tour of the show (and shame on them for caving to these fools so easily, cowards).
So this small group of religious whackos are forcing their views on the entire population, attempting to control what we can see and hear. I'm all for legitimate protest (if it is informed) and wholly support the right of everyone to their own views (even when I think they are daft or even obnoxious) but they have no right in a democratic society to try and impose their restricted views on the rest of us. We don't go round saying we should ban their homophobic, culturally intolerant websites or church meetings (and I wouldn't, its their right, but its our right to argue against their bitter rhetoric). The freedoms which protect their rights of worship and expression also protect ours, something they seem to selectively forget.
But they seem to think they can turn back the clock three centuries to the puritancial times of Cromwell (another man with little time for those who disagreed with him, even old comrades in the army he fought alongside and certainly not the theatres or, ironically, parliament). I think they should recall that Cromwell's 'New Jerusalem' ended up in the riot and debauchery of Charles II's court and the people loved him for it because they were sick and tired of the ious, miserable bigots who had run their lives (and those nasty folk I mentioned shooting doctors in the States today are the descendants of those puritans who left a now merry Britain to go and make a miserable but Godly existence in the New World).
A woman reader emailed me weeks back about the charity incident (very sorry, I can't find your email now, but thanks for sending me the story) and I've been following it since then (and since my December blog on the Saint Andrews play) and it has just been growing ever more disturbing as the weeks go past. The scariest part is that these numpties are convinced they are saving us...
John writes to me to point out that the Morrisons blog has gone - the work-related posts have all been deleted and now there is a message on the site with (what seems to me at any rate) to be a rather smug and gloating edge to it saying "Oh dear. It seems that Morrisons Employee, has deleted his blog. Otherwise I wouldn't have been able to create this one with the same name." It then directs folk to a new 'forum' for Morrisons employees.
Perhaps I am just a cynical and suspicious person, but this didn't look like a private undertaking to me, especially with all its rules on what you could and couldn't post (not keen on anything too negative - in fact not much room for any real debate their, so is it really a forum?). Perhaps I'm wrong but I got the impression of a very controlled environment designed to give the appearance of an open forum while not being anything of the sort. If so it would be a hi-jacking of the original in a most underhand manner, but then I suppose it was a matter of time before a control collar was fastened around Morrison Employee's neck. What happened to that blogger I do not know, but I wish them well and hope they rejoin us in the blogosphere at some point.
Brotherly Love
Oh, those wonderful ultra-right, super-caring Christian fundamentalists have been busy the last couple of months proving they are as big a danger to civilsed society as Muslim fundamentalists. And no, I'm not talking about those nutty right-wing, God-fearin' folks in the USA who love life so much they shoot doctors. Nope, I'm talking about the disturbing rise of their intolerant cousins right here in Blighty.
Back in December I blogged about a bunch of ultra-Christian numpties who were trying to force the chief constable in Fife to shut down a play in Saint Andrews because it was blasphemous (it had a gay Jesus). They didn't actually go to see it, they just demonstrated against it without viewing the play then tried to get the law to stop anyone else seeing it. Does that strike anyone as being a bit ridiculous that a tiny number of religious zealots think they can tell the rest of society what they can watch? And if you looked at that group's website (as I did) the homophobic, intolerant ranting was obnoxious and awful. Good caring folk practising the message of Jesus to love they neighbour... Hypocrites.
Then there was the Jerry Springer - The Musical debacle. It's been around a while but when the BBC screened it - with many warnings as to the content being offensive to some, so they may wish to not watch - there was a shitstorm. Out came these right-wing Christian wankers again, attacking the BBC, calling for it to be banned because it so offended them. Well here's an idea for you, DON'T BLOODY WATCH IT! But don't ever tell the rest of us what we can, as reasonable adults, watch. These are the modern, more vicious descendants of the religious bastards who attacked the Life of Brian on its release (of course, it is a revered film from the Monty Python team loved around the world two decades later while those who tried to 'protect us for our own good' are largely forgotten).
Ah, but that wasn't all. These same gits then went on to threaten a charity. Yes, devout (supposed) Christians attacking a small charity which ran a hospice caring for people with cancer. The Jerry Springer Musical folk offered to do a charity fundraiser - the Christians threatened the charity with a blockade of their hospice if they accepted. In other words they were prepared to abuse terminally ill patients and their carers and families.
How fucking sick are these people? What sort of Christianity is this supposed to be? Doesn't seem to follow the path laid down by the man who walked among the lepers, the poor, the prostitutes and sick to care for them, does it? They have since pressured numerous theatrical venues to pull out of hosting the tour of the show (and shame on them for caving to these fools so easily, cowards).
So this small group of religious whackos are forcing their views on the entire population, attempting to control what we can see and hear. I'm all for legitimate protest (if it is informed) and wholly support the right of everyone to their own views (even when I think they are daft or even obnoxious) but they have no right in a democratic society to try and impose their restricted views on the rest of us. We don't go round saying we should ban their homophobic, culturally intolerant websites or church meetings (and I wouldn't, its their right, but its our right to argue against their bitter rhetoric). The freedoms which protect their rights of worship and expression also protect ours, something they seem to selectively forget.
But they seem to think they can turn back the clock three centuries to the puritancial times of Cromwell (another man with little time for those who disagreed with him, even old comrades in the army he fought alongside and certainly not the theatres or, ironically, parliament). I think they should recall that Cromwell's 'New Jerusalem' ended up in the riot and debauchery of Charles II's court and the people loved him for it because they were sick and tired of the ious, miserable bigots who had run their lives (and those nasty folk I mentioned shooting doctors in the States today are the descendants of those puritans who left a now merry Britain to go and make a miserable but Godly existence in the New World).
A woman reader emailed me weeks back about the charity incident (very sorry, I can't find your email now, but thanks for sending me the story) and I've been following it since then (and since my December blog on the Saint Andrews play) and it has just been growing ever more disturbing as the weeks go past. The scariest part is that these numpties are convinced they are saving us...
Wow, just don't seem to have had much time to blog on here this last week. Been catching up with some friends for drinks and movies and the Book Group (Sheri S Tepper's Grass this month - and we were in a beautiful library room in a hotel in the West End we were allowed to use). Went off for a road trip in Gordon's new car (with Bruce the dog sniffing around in the back trying to sort out which of these new windows he should stick his nose out of first) and headed over the Forth and up to Saint Andrews. Gorgeous, clear sunny day, very spring-like after the recent cold, snow and rain (and that was just in my leaking bathroom). In the Kingdom of Fife the hills were still coated in snow, shining bright in the spring sunlight while the fields were brown and green. Around one summit we spotted folk paragliding - guess the sunlight reflecting from the snow up there must give good thermal lift.
Saint Andrews was sunny and bright and with not too many tourists yet; relatively few rich, elderly Americans in garish tartan trousers out on the golf course (amusing to think those self same awful tartan trousers with the addition of a few extra zips would be coveted by modern punks). These pics were taken only forty miles apart - snow covered peaks in one, long curves of sand and sea in the other, although there were more snowy mountains in the distance, right on the horizon where the beach tails off too, but they can't be seen clearly in this picture. Seeing a range of them in the distance was like being in Middle Earth and staring off towards the Misty Mountains.
Caught several movies over the last ten days or so as well. The Life Aquatic really didn't know what it wanted to be: relationship drama, broad comedy, satire about aeging and the nature of heros. It was pretty rudderless (yes that is a nautical pun, sorry) but it was possessed of so much quirky charm that I forgave it and enjoyed it anyway. It certainly had some visual flair - the cross-section moving through the ship was brilliant and the use of traditional stop-motion animation for the bizarre creatures and semi-surreal underwater sets was lovely (the trip in the submarine reminded me of an early 20th century movie by George Melies). Robots was terrific fun - not as good as the Incrediblesof course, but pretty fun and sharing that same CGI that is so good it looks more like they filmed real models and sets, it looks so solid -and not too many pesky kids screaming (really, these films are too good for the kids!).
Constantine however was not so wonderful. It wasn't a total bust - taken as a straightforward, not overly challenging action-thriller with lots of (very good) special effects it is fine as a bit of forgettable but enjoyable tosh. However, if like me you read all the comics it was 'based' on (I use the word loosely, as the film-makers obviously did) it was very disappointing and shared very little in common with the character from Hellblazer (especially the early Jamie Delano & Garth Ennis stories - Yuppie demons in Thatcher's London buying souls? Genius).
Oh well, Sin City looks like being a far more true-to-the-source adaptation to look forward to (and visually amazing). Not convinced about the Hitchhiker's Guide - how will it work for someone who grew up with the original radio shows, books and TV series? Guess I'll find out - should give it the benefit of the doubt; certainly the trailer looks good. On that front the new Star Wars trailer also looks good but I refuse to get too excited since Lucas has disappointed me (and so many others) before... But still when Vader rose up in his black helmet it was hard not to feel a little tingle of hope...
Saint Andrews was sunny and bright and with not too many tourists yet; relatively few rich, elderly Americans in garish tartan trousers out on the golf course (amusing to think those self same awful tartan trousers with the addition of a few extra zips would be coveted by modern punks). These pics were taken only forty miles apart - snow covered peaks in one, long curves of sand and sea in the other, although there were more snowy mountains in the distance, right on the horizon where the beach tails off too, but they can't be seen clearly in this picture. Seeing a range of them in the distance was like being in Middle Earth and staring off towards the Misty Mountains.
Caught several movies over the last ten days or so as well. The Life Aquatic really didn't know what it wanted to be: relationship drama, broad comedy, satire about aeging and the nature of heros. It was pretty rudderless (yes that is a nautical pun, sorry) but it was possessed of so much quirky charm that I forgave it and enjoyed it anyway. It certainly had some visual flair - the cross-section moving through the ship was brilliant and the use of traditional stop-motion animation for the bizarre creatures and semi-surreal underwater sets was lovely (the trip in the submarine reminded me of an early 20th century movie by George Melies). Robots was terrific fun - not as good as the Incrediblesof course, but pretty fun and sharing that same CGI that is so good it looks more like they filmed real models and sets, it looks so solid -and not too many pesky kids screaming (really, these films are too good for the kids!).
Constantine however was not so wonderful. It wasn't a total bust - taken as a straightforward, not overly challenging action-thriller with lots of (very good) special effects it is fine as a bit of forgettable but enjoyable tosh. However, if like me you read all the comics it was 'based' on (I use the word loosely, as the film-makers obviously did) it was very disappointing and shared very little in common with the character from Hellblazer (especially the early Jamie Delano & Garth Ennis stories - Yuppie demons in Thatcher's London buying souls? Genius).
Oh well, Sin City looks like being a far more true-to-the-source adaptation to look forward to (and visually amazing). Not convinced about the Hitchhiker's Guide - how will it work for someone who grew up with the original radio shows, books and TV series? Guess I'll find out - should give it the benefit of the doubt; certainly the trailer looks good. On that front the new Star Wars trailer also looks good but I refuse to get too excited since Lucas has disappointed me (and so many others) before... But still when Vader rose up in his black helmet it was hard not to feel a little tingle of hope...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)