In living colour



Just smegging around with the colour scheme as I am bored with the old one. Not sure about this one, but prefer it to the old style. Comments? Is it easier on the eyes than the old green scheme version?

Animated



Brad'n'Jen'n'Angelina. Groovy musical, animated take on the celeb breakup nonsense at Liquid Generation. Chuckles.

Punning around



Reading fellow TAO member and Irish SF guru (an Irish Gaelic word meaning 'SF fan who talks about Alan Moore while dirnking Guinness') Padraig's Live Journal this evening. He posited the punning question: "If you wrote a book about how to make money using an ancient Chinese divinatory system, would you call it the I Ching Ching?"



Heh, heh.Hmmm, starts the twisted thing I call 'brain' on the pun-book title track. What else could we have? Perhaps the pedigree dog breeders of the USA could take a variation on Neil Gaiman's excellent novel and give us a novel of old and new myths meeting in American Dogs? Alan Moore's Swatchmen telling of some superheroes with fashionable wrist chronometers? Ken MacLeod's Newton's Wake being appropriated for a book by sailing phycisists? Art Speigelman's masterpiece graphic novel re-branded for the Chinese market: Mao (s)??? John Irving's Cider House Rules adopted by some scrumpy producers in the West Country?



Okay, I'll stop now. Brain requires chocolate or it threatens to continue spewing bollocks.

Anti-terror training for cats



In response to an earlier comment regarding the training of my cats in anti-terrorism techniques I'm afraid I have to report that this has not gone as well as anticipated. It was thought that with the incredible smell and sound sense of cats, combined with fabulous night vision and incredible reflexes and agility the felines would make perfect counter-terrorism operatives.



This has not proved to be the case. One of the primary obstacles the SAS (Scottish Animal Squad) trainers ran into was the fact that the average domestic mog will happily snooze for up to 18 hours a day. Even when awake and alert the test cats only became interested in the target if the terrorist was dressed up as either a giant mouse or else had a ball of wool hanging from their person. While this latter may be of some use in attacking Al Queda's Knitting Brigade or the Crotchet Martyrs it is unlikely to be so useful generally.



The other main problem was that the cats were more likely to jump up on the terrorists and demand to have their tummies tickled. While this may distract the mad suicide bomber for a time, it was not seen as a viable, long term programme. The cat anti-terror squad has therefore been cancelled since it seems the felines perform a much better service in keeping citizens relaxed by purring on them and eating their fish. Tests on hedgehog assassins will, however, continue, as will funding for the special Penguin unit.

Ask not for whom the road tolls...



Confusion and bitter recriminations were the order of the day as Edinburgh citizens began to vote in the controversial proposal for road tolls for the city centre to relieve congestion. Further confusion was sown when a number of ballots were posted to citizens to poll them on the subject matter of 'toad rolls' instead of road tolls. The city's French deli's were outraged when they found out this was a typo and are considering suing the council for the cost of their stock orders of fresh frogs and baguettes.



Worries about Iraq-style election violence with Motoring fundamentalists ramming cars full of explosives into 'yes' campaign headquarters proved false, although it could simply be that they were stuck in heavy traffic cursing the bus and cycle lane users.



The council's transport spokesperson also cleared up the muddle over what 'congestion charging' actually was since some of the dimmer members of Edinburgh society thought it meant people who had eaten too much would be taxed more.

I don't know much about art, but I know when it's virtual



Scotland's first virtual arts school, Studio Art School, set up in a farm house in Loanhead (near Edinburgh) has been nominated in the New Statesmen's New Media Awards. Since the school was setup on line to promote new media making learning more accessible it's very nice to see them being nominated for their work.

Celluloid Sexism



An interesting piece in the Edinburgh Evening News explaining how one local cinema banned males from the the first three rows of the auditorium for the opening weekend of Ocean's Twelve in order to save the space for desparate women who want to be as close to the screen to ogle George and Brad as possible.



One the one hand this is a bit of ridiculous hen-night-style fun for the girls. On the other hand it's exactly the sort of thing that, were the gender roles reversed, the women would be berating men over. I know from my own time at a female-dominated college (I loved it, of course) that if I casually remarked how cute a girl going past was I was a 'pig' according to my female companions, who would then go on to make numerous remarks about the tight arse on the boy coming down the refrectory stairs and what they would like to do it.



That of course, was completely different. Ah, sexual equality, ain't it wonderful?



Just as well the cinema wasn't doing this in the US in case they ended up being sued by a group of male cinephiles for sexual discrimination. Or, given George and Brad both have plenty of gay male fans, sued for homophobic discrimination. Seriously though, can you imagine the abuse that would be heaped upon us if there was a similar guys-only set of front rows for a new movie with a large ensemble of cute leading ladies? Come on, girls, admit it - some women can be just as silly as they accuse men of being. But then that's part of the fun in life.