It's Buffy, I totally, like, swear...
Those wonderfully tasteless folk over at B3TA have on their games page the fabulous Swearing Buffy game!
Warning - if you are easily offened you better not look at it.
In fact if you are easily offended you probably shouldn't be reading this page either.
Come to think of it, if you are one of those boring people who insist on being 'offended' by just about everything you probably should never go online at all.
Thinking more: if you are the sort of person who gets so easily offended by things you go looking for to be offended by then not only shouldn't you look at the Buffy game, this site, anything online you probably shouldn't ever switch on your TV, radio, read a newspaper or even open your front door.
Sunday, February 6, 2005
Saturday, February 5, 2005
On the growth of Californians
And another birthday must be marked as our lovely, gloriously naughty Lili ("lili, lili, lili, legs..." - Headley Lamar, Blazing Saddles as he drools over the wonderful Madeline Khan) who has recently turned %* years old. Thanks to a healthy blend of Californian smog and the physical abuse of virile men she, of course, looks much younger.
Lili was born XX years ago in a small saloon-bordello on the Nevada-California border where she won the hearts of many cowboys as she learned to walk in her home-knitted cowboy boots (with spurs) and her first whip. It is from here she took her life-long love of heels and where she is thought to have been inspired to create the world's first stilleto-heeled cowboy boot in her teens.
A string of high-profile romances with some of California's most powerful wealthy and celebrated citizens earned her the sobriquet 'The Californian Concubine', with the difference being she ran her men as a harem, not the other way around (welcome to the future boys, the sisters may do it for themselves or with you, but only on their rules).
Although now settled down somewhat and restricting herself to one man (taken several times a day and more often at night) this seemingly respectable married mother, business woman, Lakers fan and collector of antique marital aids still releases her dark side on her blog, slipping the civilised mask and letting loose the superheroine Superslutte who fights for Truth, Justice, Sleaze and a damn good orgasm. We wish her many happy birthday orgasms and hope her poor husband has access to a lot of vitamin pills after the birthday promise he made to her.
And another birthday must be marked as our lovely, gloriously naughty Lili ("lili, lili, lili, legs..." - Headley Lamar, Blazing Saddles as he drools over the wonderful Madeline Khan) who has recently turned %* years old. Thanks to a healthy blend of Californian smog and the physical abuse of virile men she, of course, looks much younger.
Lili was born XX years ago in a small saloon-bordello on the Nevada-California border where she won the hearts of many cowboys as she learned to walk in her home-knitted cowboy boots (with spurs) and her first whip. It is from here she took her life-long love of heels and where she is thought to have been inspired to create the world's first stilleto-heeled cowboy boot in her teens.
A string of high-profile romances with some of California's most powerful wealthy and celebrated citizens earned her the sobriquet 'The Californian Concubine', with the difference being she ran her men as a harem, not the other way around (welcome to the future boys, the sisters may do it for themselves or with you, but only on their rules).
Although now settled down somewhat and restricting herself to one man (taken several times a day and more often at night) this seemingly respectable married mother, business woman, Lakers fan and collector of antique marital aids still releases her dark side on her blog, slipping the civilised mask and letting loose the superheroine Superslutte who fights for Truth, Justice, Sleaze and a damn good orgasm. We wish her many happy birthday orgasms and hope her poor husband has access to a lot of vitamin pills after the birthday promise he made to her.
On the growth of Norwegians
A belated happy birthday is issued from the editorial staff of the Woolamaloo Gazette to young mister Vegar, being, as of the other day, 36 (a whole year younger than us, the swine, how dare he). One of the finer exports from Norway, along with Salted Herring Ale, Vegar is a freelance programmer of computers designing Viking Longships, an expert in the Scandinavian martial art of Seal Tossing and also a good mate and fellow crew member of the Alien Online. He has also been known to be a charitable man who buys beer for wandering Scottish booksellers lost in Manchester after their bank card has been swallowed by their ATM and their pockets have exploded.
Vegar was born just over 36 years ago in Tromso, Norway. As is common in the land of the Slartibartfast-designed fjords in February it was cold and a snow storm was blowing. Vegar's mother had been happily knitting baby ski-shoes for her new arrival when she felt the beginnings of labour. Alas the snowstorm had blocked all of the roads and Vegar's father had to ride out for medical help on a large Arctic seal across the freezing fjord. Unable to reach the midwife he sought help from a more tradional (for Norwegians anyway) source and took himself, by seal, to a nearby cave under a bridge. Thus is was young Vegar was brought into the world by a Troll as a midwife.
At the age of five he began his studies of the ancient art, handed down from his Viking ancestors, of Seal Tossing. This has proved handy over the years and there are few roughnecks who are still standing in a bar brawl after being slapped around the head and body with a stuffed seal wielded by an irate (and inebriated) Norwegian Seal Tosser (sixth level). On his tenth birthday he was ceremoniously presented with his favourite Viking war axe. Although mostly a ceremonial weapon these days it is still used on occassion, most often on people who think he is Swedish and ask him to sing an Abba medley.
Now living in the north of England, Vegar is happily married with two children (currently preparing for their Seal Tossing studies) and a Troll in the garden shed called Hauvar. In his mid-thirties he still dreams of taking the stage as a Rock God and punching papaprazzi photographers afterwards. On weekends he enjoys taking the kids sailing in his longboat for a spot of pillaging, although these raids are mostly confined to attacks on the local muffin shop and the council tax offices. We wish him happy birthday and many more healthy ones to come.
A belated happy birthday is issued from the editorial staff of the Woolamaloo Gazette to young mister Vegar, being, as of the other day, 36 (a whole year younger than us, the swine, how dare he). One of the finer exports from Norway, along with Salted Herring Ale, Vegar is a freelance programmer of computers designing Viking Longships, an expert in the Scandinavian martial art of Seal Tossing and also a good mate and fellow crew member of the Alien Online. He has also been known to be a charitable man who buys beer for wandering Scottish booksellers lost in Manchester after their bank card has been swallowed by their ATM and their pockets have exploded.
Vegar was born just over 36 years ago in Tromso, Norway. As is common in the land of the Slartibartfast-designed fjords in February it was cold and a snow storm was blowing. Vegar's mother had been happily knitting baby ski-shoes for her new arrival when she felt the beginnings of labour. Alas the snowstorm had blocked all of the roads and Vegar's father had to ride out for medical help on a large Arctic seal across the freezing fjord. Unable to reach the midwife he sought help from a more tradional (for Norwegians anyway) source and took himself, by seal, to a nearby cave under a bridge. Thus is was young Vegar was brought into the world by a Troll as a midwife.
At the age of five he began his studies of the ancient art, handed down from his Viking ancestors, of Seal Tossing. This has proved handy over the years and there are few roughnecks who are still standing in a bar brawl after being slapped around the head and body with a stuffed seal wielded by an irate (and inebriated) Norwegian Seal Tosser (sixth level). On his tenth birthday he was ceremoniously presented with his favourite Viking war axe. Although mostly a ceremonial weapon these days it is still used on occassion, most often on people who think he is Swedish and ask him to sing an Abba medley.
Now living in the north of England, Vegar is happily married with two children (currently preparing for their Seal Tossing studies) and a Troll in the garden shed called Hauvar. In his mid-thirties he still dreams of taking the stage as a Rock God and punching papaprazzi photographers afterwards. On weekends he enjoys taking the kids sailing in his longboat for a spot of pillaging, although these raids are mostly confined to attacks on the local muffin shop and the council tax offices. We wish him happy birthday and many more healthy ones to come.
Friday, February 4, 2005
My Interstellar Journey to the Forbidden Planet
I was invited down to London yesterday for a friendly chat at Forbidden Planet International after they had contacted me last week. FP are wanting to improve their graphic novels and SF books side of the business and wanted someone who could promote good books, select them and who was enthusiastic for the genre (there are plenty of folks at FP who, like me, are seriously into the books, comics, RPGs etc which they sell; they retail them but they are also fans). They had heard of me though all that had happened and liked what they saw - the kind words of support from you all has really helped here and again I thank you all.
I will be based in the Edinburgh branch and start on Monday 14th - so a nice Valentine's present for me as Matthew remarked - with interaction with other crew and perhaps some branch visits etc as required. Obviously I am happy to be going back to work again - it is a great weight off me. I am even more delighted to be going to a better job (and better pay, thank you) where my enthusiasm, knowledge and skills have been actively sought and encouraged.
I am also over the moon to remain in the book trade and to be in a position where I can continue to promote good writing and exciting new authors. I'll be doing online work and hopefully working with the store staff on in-shop material too. We have ideas to begin with but it is the kind of new post that is going to mutate as it goes along and I'm sure both FP and myself will be coming up with new directions and ideas for me to perform. Frankly I'm looking forward to that aspect of the post - it will be a lot of work but I'm sure if I can promote good SF in a mainstream store I can really do it here. The fact that the post is likely to grow and change as we think on new areas I can contribute to is great and I'm pleased that I'm still going to be a part of the SF community as a fan, a reviewer and a bookseller.
And no, I didn't meet Leslie Neilsen or Robbie the Robot on the journey (and I was on the look out for Monster from the ID) and if I am honest it was inter-city rather than interstellar, but that's artistic license for you :-). I did have a trip into deepest, darkest Essex to visit the warehouse. There were so many piles of Spike figures from Buffy that it would have had female fans of James Masters (and some of the boys too I guess) exploding from the groin outwards. There was an incredible Spider-Man which was basically a life-size decoration - I know one mate who would love it as an alternative garden ornament (beats the hell out gnomes, but harder to take on airplane rides a la Amelie).
I was invited down to London yesterday for a friendly chat at Forbidden Planet International after they had contacted me last week. FP are wanting to improve their graphic novels and SF books side of the business and wanted someone who could promote good books, select them and who was enthusiastic for the genre (there are plenty of folks at FP who, like me, are seriously into the books, comics, RPGs etc which they sell; they retail them but they are also fans). They had heard of me though all that had happened and liked what they saw - the kind words of support from you all has really helped here and again I thank you all.
I will be based in the Edinburgh branch and start on Monday 14th - so a nice Valentine's present for me as Matthew remarked - with interaction with other crew and perhaps some branch visits etc as required. Obviously I am happy to be going back to work again - it is a great weight off me. I am even more delighted to be going to a better job (and better pay, thank you) where my enthusiasm, knowledge and skills have been actively sought and encouraged.
I am also over the moon to remain in the book trade and to be in a position where I can continue to promote good writing and exciting new authors. I'll be doing online work and hopefully working with the store staff on in-shop material too. We have ideas to begin with but it is the kind of new post that is going to mutate as it goes along and I'm sure both FP and myself will be coming up with new directions and ideas for me to perform. Frankly I'm looking forward to that aspect of the post - it will be a lot of work but I'm sure if I can promote good SF in a mainstream store I can really do it here. The fact that the post is likely to grow and change as we think on new areas I can contribute to is great and I'm pleased that I'm still going to be a part of the SF community as a fan, a reviewer and a bookseller.
And no, I didn't meet Leslie Neilsen or Robbie the Robot on the journey (and I was on the look out for Monster from the ID) and if I am honest it was inter-city rather than interstellar, but that's artistic license for you :-). I did have a trip into deepest, darkest Essex to visit the warehouse. There were so many piles of Spike figures from Buffy that it would have had female fans of James Masters (and some of the boys too I guess) exploding from the groin outwards. There was an incredible Spider-Man which was basically a life-size decoration - I know one mate who would love it as an alternative garden ornament (beats the hell out gnomes, but harder to take on airplane rides a la Amelie).
Wednesday, February 2, 2005
Dead by Dawn
The always-excellent horror film festival Dead by Dawn returns to its customary home in the Edinburgh Filmhouse (also home to the French Film Fest, Italian Film Fest, The Edinburgh International Film Fest... Well, basically it is a bloody great place for people who seriously like movies. Damned good food and beer in the cafe bar too, all five minutes from the Castle).
Spotted via the good offices of our News Editor Sandy on the mighty Alien Online, Adele Hartley, the festival director, has the site up and running for the 2005 bash in April. Readings, a huge number of feature films (normally including films fresh to the circuit) and shorts (if you want to enter a short details are available on the site). And there's a late night license so it really is festival party timeas you watch flickering celluloid horror to the wee small hours!
Radio Ga Ga
Well, actually Radio NYC, but Radio Ga Ga sounded better as a headline (original version with Freddie and the boys of course, although the Electric 6 one is fun). Ashley, a British journalist in New York kindly emailed me the link to the public radio programme Marketplace which featured an article on bloggers running foul of their employers. Yours truly is in there after a transatlantic phone interview - isn't technology wonderful? Still no word on the appeal eight days ago though.
The always-excellent horror film festival Dead by Dawn returns to its customary home in the Edinburgh Filmhouse (also home to the French Film Fest, Italian Film Fest, The Edinburgh International Film Fest... Well, basically it is a bloody great place for people who seriously like movies. Damned good food and beer in the cafe bar too, all five minutes from the Castle).
Spotted via the good offices of our News Editor Sandy on the mighty Alien Online, Adele Hartley, the festival director, has the site up and running for the 2005 bash in April. Readings, a huge number of feature films (normally including films fresh to the circuit) and shorts (if you want to enter a short details are available on the site). And there's a late night license so it really is festival party timeas you watch flickering celluloid horror to the wee small hours!
Radio Ga Ga
Well, actually Radio NYC, but Radio Ga Ga sounded better as a headline (original version with Freddie and the boys of course, although the Electric 6 one is fun). Ashley, a British journalist in New York kindly emailed me the link to the public radio programme Marketplace which featured an article on bloggers running foul of their employers. Yours truly is in there after a transatlantic phone interview - isn't technology wonderful? Still no word on the appeal eight days ago though.
Tuesday, February 1, 2005
Latest
For those who have been asking there still has been no word on the appeal which was a week ago this afternoon. Myself and the union can only assume that it is being given some decent consideration and common sense will prevail, but we'll just have to wait and see.
On the job front I have been plugging away on job searches, printing off CVs and filling in numerous application forms. Depressing to fill in so many almost identical forms within a few days and very time consuming. Between the appeal, job hunting, filling in applications etc I've been pretty busy. For those nice souls who have asked: no job has materialised yet although I have several applications in with more to go this week and a couple of knock-backs already.
However, I also have an interview later this week for a company who read of me and think I they may have a post for me. Nothing in life is certain of course, so you'll forgive me for not saying much about it just now but suffice to say it was a morale boost just to be asked to go down for a chat with them and it is a company and position I think I could do a lot for and, equally important, would enjoy doing. I'll let you know how it goes when I can.
For those who have been asking there still has been no word on the appeal which was a week ago this afternoon. Myself and the union can only assume that it is being given some decent consideration and common sense will prevail, but we'll just have to wait and see.
On the job front I have been plugging away on job searches, printing off CVs and filling in numerous application forms. Depressing to fill in so many almost identical forms within a few days and very time consuming. Between the appeal, job hunting, filling in applications etc I've been pretty busy. For those nice souls who have asked: no job has materialised yet although I have several applications in with more to go this week and a couple of knock-backs already.
However, I also have an interview later this week for a company who read of me and think I they may have a post for me. Nothing in life is certain of course, so you'll forgive me for not saying much about it just now but suffice to say it was a morale boost just to be asked to go down for a chat with them and it is a company and position I think I could do a lot for and, equally important, would enjoy doing. I'll let you know how it goes when I can.
Bestselling?
Found this interesting article on the Times Online via Blog of a Bookslut: apparently the Scottish book Bestseller's chart compiled by the SPA (Scottish Publisher's Association) should be filed under the heading 'fiction'. The article claims that the placings of certain titles often bear no relation to the actual sales figures here in chilly Caledonia.
I'm actually a little surprised since among the many things I've done in the book trade over the years compiling bestsellers for Scottish titles to provide to the SPA was something I managed often (I was asked by our former events person to keep them up to date when she was busy). The national figures are compiled by the SPA from individual bookstores in this manner and I was happy to do our bit, especially since I've always supported Scottish writing in all shapes and forms (I still contribute to a Scottish history journal).
Obviously such a system can only be as accurate as the information supplied to the SPA by booksellers. I know that the information we supplied as a branch was accurate and I can't see why any other bookstores would be misleading, so it is all a bit of a surprise and understandably has annoyed several authors.
For you information, gentle reader, here was the breakdown of the last Scottish Books Bestsellers I was privy to before the Expulsion (in reverse order):
10) Tossing the Caber - a History of Male Masturbation in the Scottish Highlands, 1703-2005 by Professor Archie McShoogle.
9) The Bonnie Prince - Charlie: Stylish Dresser or Cross Dresser? by Michael Dundee Smith.
8) Festival Floozy - How To Score With Celebs at the Edinburgh Festival, by Angela Hussybum.
7) Singularity Beards by Charles Stross
6) The Adventures of Comrade SpaceSquid, volume one of the Reactionary Forces trilogy by Ken MacLeod
5) Pictures of Scottish Castles and Glens at sunset by Colin Baxter
4) Pictures of Scottish Castles and Glens at sunrise by Colin Baxter
3) Why My New Novel is Overdue by Alisdair Gray
2) Consider a Curry, by Iain M Banks
1) Inspector Rebus: How Clean is Your Crime Scene? by Ian Rankin
I ask you, how could that be taken as ficticious? Oh okay - Iain Banks and Ian Rankin take half the top ten for themselves and Oor Wullie and the Broons take the rest!
Found this interesting article on the Times Online via Blog of a Bookslut: apparently the Scottish book Bestseller's chart compiled by the SPA (Scottish Publisher's Association) should be filed under the heading 'fiction'. The article claims that the placings of certain titles often bear no relation to the actual sales figures here in chilly Caledonia.
I'm actually a little surprised since among the many things I've done in the book trade over the years compiling bestsellers for Scottish titles to provide to the SPA was something I managed often (I was asked by our former events person to keep them up to date when she was busy). The national figures are compiled by the SPA from individual bookstores in this manner and I was happy to do our bit, especially since I've always supported Scottish writing in all shapes and forms (I still contribute to a Scottish history journal).
Obviously such a system can only be as accurate as the information supplied to the SPA by booksellers. I know that the information we supplied as a branch was accurate and I can't see why any other bookstores would be misleading, so it is all a bit of a surprise and understandably has annoyed several authors.
For you information, gentle reader, here was the breakdown of the last Scottish Books Bestsellers I was privy to before the Expulsion (in reverse order):
10) Tossing the Caber - a History of Male Masturbation in the Scottish Highlands, 1703-2005 by Professor Archie McShoogle.
9) The Bonnie Prince - Charlie: Stylish Dresser or Cross Dresser? by Michael Dundee Smith.
8) Festival Floozy - How To Score With Celebs at the Edinburgh Festival, by Angela Hussybum.
7) Singularity Beards by Charles Stross
6) The Adventures of Comrade SpaceSquid, volume one of the Reactionary Forces trilogy by Ken MacLeod
5) Pictures of Scottish Castles and Glens at sunset by Colin Baxter
4) Pictures of Scottish Castles and Glens at sunrise by Colin Baxter
3) Why My New Novel is Overdue by Alisdair Gray
2) Consider a Curry, by Iain M Banks
1) Inspector Rebus: How Clean is Your Crime Scene? by Ian Rankin
I ask you, how could that be taken as ficticious? Oh okay - Iain Banks and Ian Rankin take half the top ten for themselves and Oor Wullie and the Broons take the rest!
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